You know that movie, Parenthood? The one with Steve Martin, etal, about how life is like a roller coaster with a series of ups and downs? Yup, I get it now. Up, down, up, down. It seems like we get more of our fair share around here!
This week was difficult for us. Ian wasn't feeling well, then Luke had some bowel issues (a common side effect of his anxiety). Darling had a stressful couple of weeks at work. Ever since his promotion a few weeks ago (more money, but increased hours) he has been moody, distant and generally miserable and unavailable. It all came to a head on Wednesday.
Darling heard yet another "scare the pants off of parents" report about Autism on the radio so he called me in a tizzy as soon as he got in. Mind you, it was less than ten minutes before the kids had to be on the bus to go to camp for the day. I was running around like a chicken with no head. Darling started in on how he has had it at work, he wants me to look into new schools for Bugaboo, we need to move, yadda, yadda, yadda. Talk about ripping the carpet out from under out feet! I mean, we just got settled here, the kids are FINALLY happy, finally getting the services they need, and he wants to MOVE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND???? Needless to say, the conversation did not go well. When he arrived home that evening, we ate dinner in stoney silence and you could cut the tension with a knife. We put the boys to bed and talked.
Darling is under pressure at work, but what we finally arrived at (after many questions) is that he is depressed. He did not say he was depressed, but after he told me how he doesn't understand why he is happy, he doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning, he has so much to be thankful for and can't even appreciate it, it all made sense. Then the real truth came out. My husband has been strangely calm and accepting about the boys and their diagnoses. It finally hit him. Our kids have some significant challenges. Yes, they can reach their potential with work, work, WORK. But I think it finally dawned on him that there is a chance Ian may never talk. There is a chance that he won't live independently. And while I want to believe that he will be a functioning adult, we have to be prepared for the alternative. So Darling was stressing about it.
It is very frustrating that our beautiful gift-from-God cannot speak. He refuses to communicate. He has good affect with us and is loving and affectionate. He even plays little "tricks" or "jokes" on us, and smiles and laughs. A more pleasant child I have never met. But we've never heard his voice call us "mama" or "Dada". He has never said "I love you." He hasn't sung his ABCs. He barely eats, holds his ears in public when there is crowd noise and screeches in places with high ceilings to hear his voice echo. We wonder if we will ever know what it is like to see him write his name or to play a board game with him. We don't know if he will ever learn to ride his bike. The majority of children with his type of autism are pretty much written off by society, viewed as a drain. Treated like caged monkeys in low-paying, low-functioning jobs. Expected to become janitors or dishwashers.
We want so much more for him, not because of the lack of prestige in those positions, but because we know how intelligent he is. We know he has a smile that lights up the room and causes little old ladies to comment on what a beautiful little boy he is. We know that he is motivated, strong-willed and energetic. We know how much he can focus when he really wants to, playing with something for over two hours. I've never seen another little boy play with things the way he does.
I keep praying for all of this to be revealed to me. I want to know what I am supposed to be doing. I need to know how I can help him, I am being as patient as I can possibly be. I know the answers will come soon but at the same time I am exhausted from playing damage control around here. There are days where I feel like the luckiest woman alive, with two beautiful and happy boys, a fabulous husband who works twelve hour days so I can stay home with my boys, a cozy home and a spoiled doggie. I'm just waiting for the next "up" on the roller coaster, we sure could use it!
(Please don't view this as a "feeling sorry for myself" post, for I certainly do not feel sorry for myself. I know no other life, this is all NORMAL for me. It is just difficult to see other children the same age as mine who are doing so much more...)
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Bug Boy is at it again
Bug Boy has always been a bit precocious. We used to refer to him as Rain Man, which we no longer do, since he has a diagnosis on the spectrum (self-fulfilling prophesy?). Anywho, he can say some very interesting things. The kid is a tape recorder, you really need to watch what you say around him.
Most of the time, I have to say, we tend to tune him out after the first 20 minutes of incessant chatter. You know, the "uh huh, uh huh" thing? He is learning to be very creative and comes up with things off the top of his head that keeps us in stitches. Except when we laugh at him he gets angry, so we usually bite our tongues. Lately he has been carrying around little pieces of paper with Roman Numerals on them. Not for him to refer to (because he has them memorized. Yes, at five years of age) but to show other people, in case you haven't heard of them. He sneaks them into his pockets for sleep-overs with his cousins or in the morning when he is getting ready to go to camp. The other night I mentioned "Numero Uno" and he said,"Did you say Roman Numerals?" and proceeded to pull them out of his pocket. In the car. On the way to the pool.
Yesterday takes the cake. Since he has what is termed a social delay, we are doing everything in our capabilities to encourage and foster emotional growth. One of his therapists suggested a doll house, with dolls to represent mommy, daddy and the boys. He loved the idea! He set it up in his room, almost like a shrine. And there it say for two weeks, until I sent him to his room to straighten up. "Surprise me!" I said. He LOVES to surprise us by cleaning up or getting dressed without being asked. Ten minutes later it was very quiet up there. I could hear him having a dialogue with the dolls. I only heard snippets, but it sounded like he had the dolls interacting and the parents were asking the kids to use their manners. Sounds like it is working! The next thing I hear is THUD! THUD! THUD! And then a series of loud noises that sounded like his bookcases were falling over. The dollhouse is set up in a bookcase (stole the idea from IKEA). We went running upstairs thinking he was hurt from climbing bookcases (forbidden to do it, but still is tempted). He was sitting on the floor smiling at the chaotic mess of dolls and furniture and little rugs and such. We asked him what happened (rather breathlessly, from running upstairs to quickly) and his calm reply was, "Well, the house blew up! And so do everyone inside." Uh. This kid has issues.
Most of the time, I have to say, we tend to tune him out after the first 20 minutes of incessant chatter. You know, the "uh huh, uh huh" thing? He is learning to be very creative and comes up with things off the top of his head that keeps us in stitches. Except when we laugh at him he gets angry, so we usually bite our tongues. Lately he has been carrying around little pieces of paper with Roman Numerals on them. Not for him to refer to (because he has them memorized. Yes, at five years of age) but to show other people, in case you haven't heard of them. He sneaks them into his pockets for sleep-overs with his cousins or in the morning when he is getting ready to go to camp. The other night I mentioned "Numero Uno" and he said,"Did you say Roman Numerals?" and proceeded to pull them out of his pocket. In the car. On the way to the pool.
Yesterday takes the cake. Since he has what is termed a social delay, we are doing everything in our capabilities to encourage and foster emotional growth. One of his therapists suggested a doll house, with dolls to represent mommy, daddy and the boys. He loved the idea! He set it up in his room, almost like a shrine. And there it say for two weeks, until I sent him to his room to straighten up. "Surprise me!" I said. He LOVES to surprise us by cleaning up or getting dressed without being asked. Ten minutes later it was very quiet up there. I could hear him having a dialogue with the dolls. I only heard snippets, but it sounded like he had the dolls interacting and the parents were asking the kids to use their manners. Sounds like it is working! The next thing I hear is THUD! THUD! THUD! And then a series of loud noises that sounded like his bookcases were falling over. The dollhouse is set up in a bookcase (stole the idea from IKEA). We went running upstairs thinking he was hurt from climbing bookcases (forbidden to do it, but still is tempted). He was sitting on the floor smiling at the chaotic mess of dolls and furniture and little rugs and such. We asked him what happened (rather breathlessly, from running upstairs to quickly) and his calm reply was, "Well, the house blew up! And so do everyone inside." Uh. This kid has issues.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Frustrated!
I had a very long post to put here. Spent about an hour on it, wrote and rewrote. Talked about Bugaboo and his medical probs and his procedure Tuesday. Then Blogger ate it. WAAAHHHH!!!!
SO, when I have the patience, I will try it again. In the meantime, go have a cookie.
SO, when I have the patience, I will try it again. In the meantime, go have a cookie.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Where the &@#* have you been?
I know, I haven't' been keeping up. There are good reasons.
The boys (and Darling, and the dog) are running me ragged and my brain has turned to mush.
Most days instead of concentrating on getting on the computer, getting my housework done, taking a shower, etc, I am camping out on the couch, going back to bed, and struggling through errands. I am just unmotivated, exhausted and drained. I took a look at my diet, it is in decent shape, minus the three milkshakes I had last week.
I have been hitting the gym two days a week, wish it were more, but I am at least doing that. And the other day, I got a heckuva workout racing my niece across the pool (she swam, I just did arms, and she still beat me!).
I think what is going on is the midsummer night's slump. I hit this point every summer. Once Fourth-of-July runs around, I am done. I want it to be fall, cooler temps, jacket weather. I cannot stand the heat. And, this is coming from the girl who used to HATE air conditioning, and slept in a room with a fan when Darling used to go into the middle bedroom and sleep with a window AC, before our central air was installed in the old house.
I need leaves falling off of the trees, the smell of damp and decaying foliage. I need cool breezes and chilly nights, and daylight savings time. I need my anniversary (hubba hubba!) and our birthdays, football (yes, I said football, am I crazy for saying that?) and hockey. The time of year when we spend every waking moment outside, and start looking for good sales on ski stuff. We are soooo going this year!
So, I only have about two months to go. Who knew Seasonal Affective Disorder could hit in the summer?
The boys (and Darling, and the dog) are running me ragged and my brain has turned to mush.
Most days instead of concentrating on getting on the computer, getting my housework done, taking a shower, etc, I am camping out on the couch, going back to bed, and struggling through errands. I am just unmotivated, exhausted and drained. I took a look at my diet, it is in decent shape, minus the three milkshakes I had last week.
I have been hitting the gym two days a week, wish it were more, but I am at least doing that. And the other day, I got a heckuva workout racing my niece across the pool (she swam, I just did arms, and she still beat me!).
I think what is going on is the midsummer night's slump. I hit this point every summer. Once Fourth-of-July runs around, I am done. I want it to be fall, cooler temps, jacket weather. I cannot stand the heat. And, this is coming from the girl who used to HATE air conditioning, and slept in a room with a fan when Darling used to go into the middle bedroom and sleep with a window AC, before our central air was installed in the old house.
I need leaves falling off of the trees, the smell of damp and decaying foliage. I need cool breezes and chilly nights, and daylight savings time. I need my anniversary (hubba hubba!) and our birthdays, football (yes, I said football, am I crazy for saying that?) and hockey. The time of year when we spend every waking moment outside, and start looking for good sales on ski stuff. We are soooo going this year!
So, I only have about two months to go. Who knew Seasonal Affective Disorder could hit in the summer?
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Our fifth visit to the ER
Since Memorial Day I have been to the ER five times with three different children. It is the same Emergency Room that we visit each time, duPont. They really do deliver excellent care and we see several specialists there for the boys' various needs.
This visit was much shorter than the others, thank goodness. We visited our favorite Home Improvement Store (begins with an 'L') and while I was in the restroom, Bug Boy decided to push Bugaboo's stroller. He whirled it around in circles, and just as I finished washing and drying my hands, I heard a sickening thud. Upon rushing out of the restroom, Bugaboo was winding up for a howl that could be heard in seven states. He had tipped forward and smacked his forehead on the concrete floor!
The staff was very accommodating and got us ice and helped us check him out. He seemed ok, but then 15 mins later he was groggy and fell asleep. It was his normal bedtime, but we wanted to make sure he was ok, so we went straight to the ER five minutes away. Lucky for us it was a slow night.
So, after four hours of observation Bugaboo was released and we went him, with a big ole knot on his head. The swelling has gone down considerably. We have to keep our eyes on him for a day or two, since this is his second (minor) concussion.
Egads! Not the way we expected to spend our day, but it could have been much worse. It is unbelievable how resilient children are, and how fragile at the same time.
This visit was much shorter than the others, thank goodness. We visited our favorite Home Improvement Store (begins with an 'L') and while I was in the restroom, Bug Boy decided to push Bugaboo's stroller. He whirled it around in circles, and just as I finished washing and drying my hands, I heard a sickening thud. Upon rushing out of the restroom, Bugaboo was winding up for a howl that could be heard in seven states. He had tipped forward and smacked his forehead on the concrete floor!
The staff was very accommodating and got us ice and helped us check him out. He seemed ok, but then 15 mins later he was groggy and fell asleep. It was his normal bedtime, but we wanted to make sure he was ok, so we went straight to the ER five minutes away. Lucky for us it was a slow night.
So, after four hours of observation Bugaboo was released and we went him, with a big ole knot on his head. The swelling has gone down considerably. We have to keep our eyes on him for a day or two, since this is his second (minor) concussion.
Egads! Not the way we expected to spend our day, but it could have been much worse. It is unbelievable how resilient children are, and how fragile at the same time.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Thursday Thirteen
Things I want to get done around the house!
- Clean up around the yard - many miscellaneous things just hanging around that need to be put away or decluttered.
- Cut back bushes that have taken over the yard
- trim back the rose bush that has gone to town on the side of the yard
- Hack the ugly bushes in front of the porch and get rid of 'em!
- Pull out mulch, put dirt in flower beds and re-mulch with brown instead of red (next year, methinks)
- Paint front door and shutters
- Take down makeshift railing from previous owners and replace with a nicer one
- Create new flower beds near corner of yard in front (around street sign), on kitchen side of house when you first walk into yard (outside of picture window, so I can watch the birds and butterflies) and on deck side of rear yard in corner where Lake Erie begins to form (to minimize the yard flooding)
- Get rid of rock pile on side of house from when part of retaining wall was removed. Talk to the neighbor who wants the rocks and ask him to get them!
- Remove small tree in side yard that is NOT doing well and is not growing. Is diseased and a type of tree we don't want in back yard.
- Plant another tree on "old pool" side of backyard, away from sewer line (we'd like a copper beech or Sugar Maple, like our old house)
- Call and get mulch prices and have them deliver play mulch for around swingset so that the sand stops getting tracked into the house!!!
- Start harassing DH about deck plans, we have to rip down our structurally unsafe deck and want to replace it with a two-level deck, with the steps coming down towards the garage instead of the street. We have to call Uncle Pete in on this one!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Conversations with Bug Boy
Or, more accurately, listening to Bug Boy's one sided conversation!
Here is an excerpt from this morning:
Mommy: What do you want for breakfast, Bug Boy?
Bug Boy: I think I'd like a cheese bagel. I had a cheese bagel yesterday. Yesterday was Tuesday. And you know what today is? Wednesday. Yup, yesterday was Tuesday and the day before that was Monday. I was sick on Monday and Tuesday, but I am not sick today because it is Wednesday. I am going to camp today. I did not go to camp yesterday or Monday. Yup, I was sick and went to the doctor on Monday. And yesterday was Tuesday so I stayed home. Daddy stayed home yesterday. Daddy stays home on Saturdays and Sundays. Yesterday was NOT Saturday or Sunday. It was Tuesday. And Daddy stayed home. Today is Wednesday and I am going to camp and tomorrow is Thursday and then comes Friday. We go swimming at camp on Fridays and Mondays. But on Monday I stayed home and did not go to camp and did NOT swim. But I went to the doctor's...
Mommy: Uh huh...
Yes. He is feeling better. We know when he talks for 4 hours without a breath or a word in edge-wise that he is feeling better...
Here is an excerpt from this morning:
Mommy: What do you want for breakfast, Bug Boy?
Bug Boy: I think I'd like a cheese bagel. I had a cheese bagel yesterday. Yesterday was Tuesday. And you know what today is? Wednesday. Yup, yesterday was Tuesday and the day before that was Monday. I was sick on Monday and Tuesday, but I am not sick today because it is Wednesday. I am going to camp today. I did not go to camp yesterday or Monday. Yup, I was sick and went to the doctor on Monday. And yesterday was Tuesday so I stayed home. Daddy stayed home yesterday. Daddy stays home on Saturdays and Sundays. Yesterday was NOT Saturday or Sunday. It was Tuesday. And Daddy stayed home. Today is Wednesday and I am going to camp and tomorrow is Thursday and then comes Friday. We go swimming at camp on Fridays and Mondays. But on Monday I stayed home and did not go to camp and did NOT swim. But I went to the doctor's...
Mommy: Uh huh...
Yes. He is feeling better. We know when he talks for 4 hours without a breath or a word in edge-wise that he is feeling better...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
When Darling is home sick
Ok. If you called out sick from work and felt like total C-R-A-P would you still call in to attend meetings? I mean, dial in, sit and listen to droning voices for hours, all the while using the phone so no one can call us and hogging the computer?
If he is really sick, then he shouldn't be working from home. Take the sick day, get charged for it, and DON'T pick up the phone or turn on that computer!!! Just my two cents.
The other thing that bothers me (since I am on a roll and all) is that I feel like I can't operate at my normal speed because he kinda hovers and makes comments. Like, you have 5 hours a day, why can't you get X/Y/Z done? You have been sitting down for 15 mins, why don't you go do______ (insert insane request here). Like I can't read e-mail! Or take a shower! Or heaven forbid I watch tv while I fold clothes (which I can't do, since he is using the bed as our office at the moment). But, I showed him! I still cleaned the bathrooms! So PBLTT!!!!
Got that out of my system. Feel much better. I think tomorrow I am going to call the boss and call out sick. HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! They wouldn't know what to do!!!!
If he is really sick, then he shouldn't be working from home. Take the sick day, get charged for it, and DON'T pick up the phone or turn on that computer!!! Just my two cents.
The other thing that bothers me (since I am on a roll and all) is that I feel like I can't operate at my normal speed because he kinda hovers and makes comments. Like, you have 5 hours a day, why can't you get X/Y/Z done? You have been sitting down for 15 mins, why don't you go do______ (insert insane request here). Like I can't read e-mail! Or take a shower! Or heaven forbid I watch tv while I fold clothes (which I can't do, since he is using the bed as our office at the moment). But, I showed him! I still cleaned the bathrooms! So PBLTT!!!!
Got that out of my system. Feel much better. I think tomorrow I am going to call the boss and call out sick. HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! They wouldn't know what to do!!!!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Purse update
I went back to Goodwill today. Someone decided to clean up the area where all of the purses were previously in a big heap. No L.E.I purse. But I did get two cute lightweight skirts (cotton!) for summer, and two tank tops. Still can't find a decent white one. I tried every store in PA.
I am going to order the LL Bean purse after lunch. I know, it is expensive. But I am worth it. And, Darling almost bought me the Fossil purse this weekend, and it cost more than the LL Bean Purse! So THERE!!!
I am going to order the LL Bean purse after lunch. I know, it is expensive. But I am worth it. And, Darling almost bought me the Fossil purse this weekend, and it cost more than the LL Bean Purse! So THERE!!!
Bug Boy's Tummy trouble
What started out as a fun weekend at his cousin's house became a very long night for Bug Boy. He slept over Dino Boy's house, went to the pool and had a marvelous time. But he had two accidents. You know, the trots? The skids? Do I have to spell it out for you? Ok, D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A. We thought perhaps it was from the ice cream he had the night before. This has happened before, and it is why he is now on a non-dairy diet.
He steadily progressed into full sick mode shortly after we picked him up and brought him home. He was miserable and tired and we thought nothing of it until the THIRD accident two hours after we arrived home. Then he started running a fever. He is not happy about it but I insisted he wear a pull-up. I am not cleaning up all of that underwear. And he wears boxers, so it would be even worse! He is five-years-old and not happy about it.
Since Bug Boy is guzzling fluids I know he is staying hydrated. He has a history of getting dehydrated very quickly and is super-sensitive to heat and cold extremes. And I don't mean he gets too hot. I mean he can get dehydrated in about two minutes. His little temperature system is terribly immature, and the doc is hoping he will grow out of it. I don't want to end up at the ER later, so Bug Boy is staying in today, whether he likes it or not. And the worst part is that he is missing swimming and riding therapy today! He is NOT a happy camper, literally!
Ok, the prince has beckoned. Time to wait on him hand and foot for the remainder of the day.
He steadily progressed into full sick mode shortly after we picked him up and brought him home. He was miserable and tired and we thought nothing of it until the THIRD accident two hours after we arrived home. Then he started running a fever. He is not happy about it but I insisted he wear a pull-up. I am not cleaning up all of that underwear. And he wears boxers, so it would be even worse! He is five-years-old and not happy about it.
Since Bug Boy is guzzling fluids I know he is staying hydrated. He has a history of getting dehydrated very quickly and is super-sensitive to heat and cold extremes. And I don't mean he gets too hot. I mean he can get dehydrated in about two minutes. His little temperature system is terribly immature, and the doc is hoping he will grow out of it. I don't want to end up at the ER later, so Bug Boy is staying in today, whether he likes it or not. And the worst part is that he is missing swimming and riding therapy today! He is NOT a happy camper, literally!
Ok, the prince has beckoned. Time to wait on him hand and foot for the remainder of the day.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
In search of the perfect purse
I have a purse problem. That is, I don't want to buy one. I have never been one to carry purses. I used a backpack in high school and college, and even when I worked I used a large messenger bag or backpack that held my lunch, books, keys, hairbrush, wallet and the like. It really wasn't a purse. If I had a purse it was more like a wallet on a string, teeny and light. And I forgot it or left it everywhere.
Flash forward a few years. Pregnancy happened, diaper bag/backpack (yes, I bought a baby backpack instead!) and then pregnancy happened again, this time Sis bought me the super-mega-hawesome L.L Bean Baby Backpack, room enough for stuff for two kids (and any incidentals, like my latest wallet on a string).
The kids were getting a little older and I was getting tired of carrying the diaper bag out on rare dates with my Darling or to the ladies room by myself. I felt like every woman in there was staring at me thinking I had rather large sanitary supplies in a bag that big. Or they were thinking, "Poor dear! She must have six kids with a diaper bag that big!"
Then the kids started school. Since I send Bugaboo to school with his own backpack it was no longer necessary for me to carry that large bag anymore. But the purse on a string didn't hold my keys, cell phone and any incidentals (like a small water bottle) and if I wanted to run out with the kids it didn't hold a diaper. I got outhouse lucky at Goodwill twice! Once I bought a cute black purse, kinda mini-messenger style, for $3. It lasted 6 months until I tore a hole in it. Then I found the most HAWESOME still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one for yet another $3 at Goodwill. It rocked! It fit a diaper or two, my now-extremely-necessary pocket calendar (for all of those appts for the boys) and a hairbrush and a travel pack of baby wipes. Life doesn't get better than that, folks!
Alas, a few weeks ago my "business bag" (as my sister jokes, since I tell her I refuse to carry a purse) got caught in the door after only a few months. The cell phone holder and change purse ripped. ACK!!!!
I am now on the hunt for a replacement. I basically want to find the exact same bag, and it does not exist. After scouring two Goodwill stores, every discount department store and even Tarzhay to no avail, I am beginning to lose faith that I will find a suitable replacement. I have rather strict criteria; no leather under any circumstance, must have a built-in wallet with little credit card holders and a change purse, cannot be bigger than the still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one (or SMMBBLTTFO for those of you into abbreviations), must still be able to hold a diaper and wipes and has to wipe clean for the simple reason that I have two boys. 'Nuff said.
I have found at least forty versions of it in leather. My favorite is called the Rosetti organizer. It is one awesome purse. I have done online searches for it in a-material-other-than-vinyl but no such luck. I have found the perfect replacement at Goodwill, except for the fact that there was no strap on the bag, and thus no way to actually carry it. I have found the bag in a-material-other-than-leather in several stores, but adorned with rather garish fake jewels and beads or in camouflage. EWWWW!!!!!
But the best had to be this evening. I found the bag. I found twenty versions of the bag. In Strawbridges in Delaware, which meant NO TAX. Then I saw the price tags. HAHAHAHAHHA! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that tag said $65! Oh, it did? Uh....HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a good laugh. But even funnier was when I noticed the pretty little purses in the glass with D&B all over them and the ones with the interlocking Cs and then the ones chained to the purse stand...those all had price tags of $200 and up. And people REALLY pay that much for a purse? Egads. I am so out of style it ain't funny.
So, for the time being we are dealing with the ripped purse. It isn't noticeable to the untrained eye. And when I find a cheap replacement I will grab it.Hopefully at Goodwill. I really don't want to carry a purse...I mean, a business bag!
Flash forward a few years. Pregnancy happened, diaper bag/backpack (yes, I bought a baby backpack instead!) and then pregnancy happened again, this time Sis bought me the super-mega-hawesome L.L Bean Baby Backpack, room enough for stuff for two kids (and any incidentals, like my latest wallet on a string).
The kids were getting a little older and I was getting tired of carrying the diaper bag out on rare dates with my Darling or to the ladies room by myself. I felt like every woman in there was staring at me thinking I had rather large sanitary supplies in a bag that big. Or they were thinking, "Poor dear! She must have six kids with a diaper bag that big!"
Then the kids started school. Since I send Bugaboo to school with his own backpack it was no longer necessary for me to carry that large bag anymore. But the purse on a string didn't hold my keys, cell phone and any incidentals (like a small water bottle) and if I wanted to run out with the kids it didn't hold a diaper. I got outhouse lucky at Goodwill twice! Once I bought a cute black purse, kinda mini-messenger style, for $3. It lasted 6 months until I tore a hole in it. Then I found the most HAWESOME still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one for yet another $3 at Goodwill. It rocked! It fit a diaper or two, my now-extremely-necessary pocket calendar (for all of those appts for the boys) and a hairbrush and a travel pack of baby wipes. Life doesn't get better than that, folks!
Alas, a few weeks ago my "business bag" (as my sister jokes, since I tell her I refuse to carry a purse) got caught in the door after only a few months. The cell phone holder and change purse ripped. ACK!!!!
I am now on the hunt for a replacement. I basically want to find the exact same bag, and it does not exist. After scouring two Goodwill stores, every discount department store and even Tarzhay to no avail, I am beginning to lose faith that I will find a suitable replacement. I have rather strict criteria; no leather under any circumstance, must have a built-in wallet with little credit card holders and a change purse, cannot be bigger than the still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one (or SMMBBLTTFO for those of you into abbreviations), must still be able to hold a diaper and wipes and has to wipe clean for the simple reason that I have two boys. 'Nuff said.
I have found at least forty versions of it in leather. My favorite is called the Rosetti organizer. It is one awesome purse. I have done online searches for it in a-material-other-than-vinyl but no such luck. I have found the perfect replacement at Goodwill, except for the fact that there was no strap on the bag, and thus no way to actually carry it. I have found the bag in a-material-other-than-leather in several stores, but adorned with rather garish fake jewels and beads or in camouflage. EWWWW!!!!!
But the best had to be this evening. I found the bag. I found twenty versions of the bag. In Strawbridges in Delaware, which meant NO TAX. Then I saw the price tags. HAHAHAHAHHA! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that tag said $65! Oh, it did? Uh....HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a good laugh. But even funnier was when I noticed the pretty little purses in the glass with D&B all over them and the ones with the interlocking Cs and then the ones chained to the purse stand...those all had price tags of $200 and up. And people REALLY pay that much for a purse? Egads. I am so out of style it ain't funny.
So, for the time being we are dealing with the ripped purse. It isn't noticeable to the untrained eye. And when I find a cheap replacement I will grab it.Hopefully at Goodwill. I really don't want to carry a purse...I mean, a business bag!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Updates, or, Why I haven't been keeping up with blogging
Life as of late has been like a whirling dervish. Up and down, round and round, can't tell if I am coming or going. And the weird thing is that the boys are in camp and I thought I'd have tons of time to do things, like sand drywall and paint. HA! As if! So this is what is keeping me busy:
Bugaboo's medical procedures. Got the results today: He has Esophagitis. Basically he has reflux, brought about by food allergies, which causes swelling of his esophagus. And it also causes stomach pain, diarrhea, mouth sores, heart burn, you name it. No wonder he doesn't want to eat! The poor kid is in miserable pain and his throat hurts all of the time. He also has tested positive for a wheat allergies. It isn't terrible severe, but it must be treated or else the stomach and bowel problems shall persist. I am relieved to get to the bottom of this FINALLY!!!
My visit with the Neurologist. We are trying to rule out a few conditions, namely; Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Over-worked-and-Stressed-Out-Mommy-Syndrome. With a family history of MS, FMS and CFS, the doc is being very thorough. I had a brain MRI with and without contrast. Now I have to follow up with a cervicle and thoracic MRI, with and without contrast. Since my last MRI was such a joyous event (N.O.T!) I am looking forward to it like a trip to Tar-zhay. At least I get another 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to recline.
Housework and errands. I have been trying to keep up with just daily routines, but important phone calls and appointments have left me a teensy bit behind. With out-of-town guests due to arrive for two days, I want to at least make sure the sheets and towels are clean and that no one will be tempted to write their name in the dust on the television.
Therapy for the boys. Just today we had Bugaboo's TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) start, the boys' Behavior Specialist was here and Bug Boy's Mobile Therapist came for his weekly visit. And this was after Bugaboo had school and camp, and Bug Boy went to camp. So it was a loooonnnggg busy day for both of them! No problems falling asleep tonight!
Sleep. Just kidding! Thought I'd throw that in there to see if y'all are paying attention! I haven't been getting much sleep due to Bugaboo's recent Night Terrors.
Migraines. See the visit to the Neuro above.
Everyday mundane tasks. You know, eating, breathing, showering. Since time is at a premium, I am being selective about how I spend my, ahem, leisure time. I have been trying to hit the Y in order to keep the body in shape. Weights are important for the above-mentioned conditions. And, I have developed a new obsession with the computer (like I need the computer to be MORE of a distraction!): Adobe Photoshop. Too much fun, and I am staying up past my bedtime.
Ok. My fifteen minutes are fare from over. If you don't know what I am talking about, click HERE.
Bugaboo's medical procedures. Got the results today: He has Esophagitis. Basically he has reflux, brought about by food allergies, which causes swelling of his esophagus. And it also causes stomach pain, diarrhea, mouth sores, heart burn, you name it. No wonder he doesn't want to eat! The poor kid is in miserable pain and his throat hurts all of the time. He also has tested positive for a wheat allergies. It isn't terrible severe, but it must be treated or else the stomach and bowel problems shall persist. I am relieved to get to the bottom of this FINALLY!!!
My visit with the Neurologist. We are trying to rule out a few conditions, namely; Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Over-worked-and-Stressed-Out-Mommy-Syndrome. With a family history of MS, FMS and CFS, the doc is being very thorough. I had a brain MRI with and without contrast. Now I have to follow up with a cervicle and thoracic MRI, with and without contrast. Since my last MRI was such a joyous event (N.O.T!) I am looking forward to it like a trip to Tar-zhay. At least I get another 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to recline.
Housework and errands. I have been trying to keep up with just daily routines, but important phone calls and appointments have left me a teensy bit behind. With out-of-town guests due to arrive for two days, I want to at least make sure the sheets and towels are clean and that no one will be tempted to write their name in the dust on the television.
Therapy for the boys. Just today we had Bugaboo's TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) start, the boys' Behavior Specialist was here and Bug Boy's Mobile Therapist came for his weekly visit. And this was after Bugaboo had school and camp, and Bug Boy went to camp. So it was a loooonnnggg busy day for both of them! No problems falling asleep tonight!
Sleep. Just kidding! Thought I'd throw that in there to see if y'all are paying attention! I haven't been getting much sleep due to Bugaboo's recent Night Terrors.
Migraines. See the visit to the Neuro above.
Everyday mundane tasks. You know, eating, breathing, showering. Since time is at a premium, I am being selective about how I spend my, ahem, leisure time. I have been trying to hit the Y in order to keep the body in shape. Weights are important for the above-mentioned conditions. And, I have developed a new obsession with the computer (like I need the computer to be MORE of a distraction!): Adobe Photoshop. Too much fun, and I am staying up past my bedtime.
Ok. My fifteen minutes are fare from over. If you don't know what I am talking about, click HERE.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
What is the world coming to?
I have to stop reading the news, especially when Aunt Flo is here for a visit!
I have been doing quite a bit of research as of late in order to educate myself upon making proper choices for our children. DH is more of a "read it and then give me a summary" kind of person, so it really does fall on me, although he does tend to talk to people at work with children with disabilities, and I appreciate that. So, as I have been reading books, websites and the like, I came across two articles recently that disturbed me to no end!
The first was about a little girl with Down's syndrome. One-year-old, mostly healthy (just the typical stuff) and sweet, judging from her picture. It seems her house burned down with her in it. The parents and older children got out, so did the family dog. The family vehicle was even moved from the driveway and the cell phone was grabbed off of the kitchen counter. But not the little girl from her crib. I haven't gotten many more details, but it smells fishy. And it turns my stomach. I pray for her and her family. I just really hope it was an accident!
The second one was about a family with an autistic three-year old girl named Katie McCarron. Same age as Bugaboo, give or take a few weeks. The husband has been living in another state for nearly two years with her and his parents (as caretakers) so that he may send her to the best possible school. They just moved back and reunited the mother and other child three months ago. And a week later, the mother, out of supposed frustration, took a ride with her daughter to get her to fall asleep (been there, done that!) and took her to the grandma's house, put a bag over her head, suffocated her, brought her back to the house and put her to bed, telling everyone that she fell asleep! And the worst part is, the police believed her until the next day when she OD'd on aspirin (took like, six pills) and barely slit her wrists, as she confessed to her husband.
The worst part is that people online are giving these parents nothing but sympathy. "they are under so much stress!" "They were in so much pain!"
GIMMEE A BREAK!!!! This makes me so angry! So, in other words, they are going to get away with it because their kid has a disability and so therefore their lives are more stressful than everyone else's. Their kid has a diagnosis, so therefore it makes them less worthy as a human being. Their lives can be prematurely snuffed out and it is ok, because their parents were stressed out and their children were damaged. So basically, that means that my children's lives aren't as important as other kids, since my kids may or may not become "productive members of society." This just makes me want to retch and vomit!
Sorry to be so emotional. But it hurts me to hear of such things. My children are precious and beautiful, gifts from God. I thank God for them every day (at about the same time I pray for a miracle, to hear my son's voice!). I have my ups and downs like every parent. I cry out of frustration, like every parent. And, my kids are naughty, like all other children. They push the boundaries, give us the "hairy eyeball" when they are reprimanded and throw temper tantrums. I have seen other kids in Tar-zhay do the same thing, and it makes me LAUGH, because then I know I am not the only one! It makes us normal!
So, I am sorry, but the best I can do for these parents is pray. Pray that they will repent and see the light. Pray that they know they made a mistake and did something that was not acceptable. Pray that God is as forgiving as I have been taught. But I cannot condone their actions. I do not feel sorry for them.
There is one more thing I can do. I can hug my children when they come home from school and appreciate that they have been given to me because I am the right mom for the job.
I have been doing quite a bit of research as of late in order to educate myself upon making proper choices for our children. DH is more of a "read it and then give me a summary" kind of person, so it really does fall on me, although he does tend to talk to people at work with children with disabilities, and I appreciate that. So, as I have been reading books, websites and the like, I came across two articles recently that disturbed me to no end!
The first was about a little girl with Down's syndrome. One-year-old, mostly healthy (just the typical stuff) and sweet, judging from her picture. It seems her house burned down with her in it. The parents and older children got out, so did the family dog. The family vehicle was even moved from the driveway and the cell phone was grabbed off of the kitchen counter. But not the little girl from her crib. I haven't gotten many more details, but it smells fishy. And it turns my stomach. I pray for her and her family. I just really hope it was an accident!
The second one was about a family with an autistic three-year old girl named Katie McCarron. Same age as Bugaboo, give or take a few weeks. The husband has been living in another state for nearly two years with her and his parents (as caretakers) so that he may send her to the best possible school. They just moved back and reunited the mother and other child three months ago. And a week later, the mother, out of supposed frustration, took a ride with her daughter to get her to fall asleep (been there, done that!) and took her to the grandma's house, put a bag over her head, suffocated her, brought her back to the house and put her to bed, telling everyone that she fell asleep! And the worst part is, the police believed her until the next day when she OD'd on aspirin (took like, six pills) and barely slit her wrists, as she confessed to her husband.
The worst part is that people online are giving these parents nothing but sympathy. "they are under so much stress!" "They were in so much pain!"
GIMMEE A BREAK!!!! This makes me so angry! So, in other words, they are going to get away with it because their kid has a disability and so therefore their lives are more stressful than everyone else's. Their kid has a diagnosis, so therefore it makes them less worthy as a human being. Their lives can be prematurely snuffed out and it is ok, because their parents were stressed out and their children were damaged. So basically, that means that my children's lives aren't as important as other kids, since my kids may or may not become "productive members of society." This just makes me want to retch and vomit!
Sorry to be so emotional. But it hurts me to hear of such things. My children are precious and beautiful, gifts from God. I thank God for them every day (at about the same time I pray for a miracle, to hear my son's voice!). I have my ups and downs like every parent. I cry out of frustration, like every parent. And, my kids are naughty, like all other children. They push the boundaries, give us the "hairy eyeball" when they are reprimanded and throw temper tantrums. I have seen other kids in Tar-zhay do the same thing, and it makes me LAUGH, because then I know I am not the only one! It makes us normal!
So, I am sorry, but the best I can do for these parents is pray. Pray that they will repent and see the light. Pray that they know they made a mistake and did something that was not acceptable. Pray that God is as forgiving as I have been taught. But I cannot condone their actions. I do not feel sorry for them.
There is one more thing I can do. I can hug my children when they come home from school and appreciate that they have been given to me because I am the right mom for the job.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
The confusing world of Autism
My head is spinning and I don't know which way to turn.
There are so many choices! TOO MANY CHOICES! I just don't know what to do. I have been reading and researching treatments, opinions, medications, behavior techniques, diets and the like for nearly two years. I still have not made any decisions. I cannot sort out what I have learned. I am afraid to try the wrong thing and too scared to sit back and lose more time.
For instance, the special diets (DAN! GFCF): Everything I have tried so far has not worked. He still gets belly aches, none of the tests are pointing to allergies or hernia, he doesn't have polyps and his bowels look fine. His behavior did not improve on or off of a diet. I tried some vitamin therapy and some detox. I felt like a fool after a year when nothing changed. In fact, he STOPPED talking. I have taken him to special docs and such for a while, no improvement. He has been seeing a chiro for three years, and although he enjoys it, it isn't going anywhere.
I know I am not buying the Mercury thing. I have been reading so much about it and it just doesn't make sense. If Mercury is the cause, why is it that my friends who do NOT vaccinate still have children with Autism? And, why is it that some kids who do chelation don't improve? I just don't think this is the route I want to go. I am not sure it is something that needs to be cured.
Neurodiversity: These people have a great mindset. Accept the kid the way they are. But is sitting back and letting things happen naturally going to make him fall so far behind we will never reach him? I am afraid to find out! I want to just accept him and move along, but it is so scary and surreal.
Behavior modification: Do his behaviors need to be changed or suppressed? Is it so bad that he flaps his hands and jumps up and down? Ok, the destructive stuff has to go (it is getting expensive) but do I need to do intense therapy with him 30+ hours a week, ignore the rest of the family and home and hope he improves?
Floortime: Sounds good on paper. I have read tons on it. I want to do the training ($$, as usual) but Darling isn't 100% convinced. But, is it too close to behavioral interventions? Is changing his behavior wrong?
Cure Autism Now: They have a good message, great research, very vocal, very involved. I signed up to do the walk and field a team. I even told my family about it. But now I am not certain I want to do it. I am not sure that Autism is something that needs to be cured, or if it can be cured. Call me a skeptic. I admit it. But I cannot support them if they want me to raise money for them so that they can do another study on mercury, thimerisol, etc. I know they do so much more, but I am having a very tough time deciding on this one.
Autism Society of America: They are coming across kinda negative to me. They keep talking about how hard it is, how it is torture, how difficult it is for the kids. Like it is a disease. Like it makes my sons' lives miserable. I will admit it, it is not tea and cakes on a daily basis. But my kids are HAPPY and healthy and love. Therefore they are WORTH having! I don't think of them as an epidemic or a mistake. I think of them as an expression of Darling and my love. And a gift from God (hence Bugaboo's name). That may not be their intention, but that is how I took it.
You see, most of the groups out there make you feel like you have to do tons of intervention, therapy, meds, mods, etc. "Your kids aren't normal. Your kids aren't typical. They need to be changed, they need help, they are miserable. " I don't feel that way! I want them to be happy and loved and to succeed the best way they can. They are loved by us and God, unconditionally. So why does everyone want them to be "OK?" Aren't they ok?
As you can see, I am having some very conflicting thoughts this weekend. Could be the "AF" hormones, could be sleep deprivation. Could also be me reading into things too much, and thinking too much. Bug Boy told us last night that his brain goes so fast sometimes it makes him want to scream. I totally know what he means. And I know where he gets it!! It is difficult to make a decision when all of these thoughts are swirling around inside my brain like a cyclone.
I think I should go to bed and lay off of the caffeine for a few days...
UPDATE:
I wrote that post last night before I had any sleep. It has been a stressful week due to little sleep and Bugaboo's health issues. He has a nasty cold and feels lousy and keeps waking up at night. Now, I have been used to waking up several times a night, but then he spoiled me and started sleeping through. I don't know which I prefer!
So, I am feeling better. Still confused, not so overwhelmed. But still need to lay off of the caffeine.
There are so many choices! TOO MANY CHOICES! I just don't know what to do. I have been reading and researching treatments, opinions, medications, behavior techniques, diets and the like for nearly two years. I still have not made any decisions. I cannot sort out what I have learned. I am afraid to try the wrong thing and too scared to sit back and lose more time.
For instance, the special diets (DAN! GFCF): Everything I have tried so far has not worked. He still gets belly aches, none of the tests are pointing to allergies or hernia, he doesn't have polyps and his bowels look fine. His behavior did not improve on or off of a diet. I tried some vitamin therapy and some detox. I felt like a fool after a year when nothing changed. In fact, he STOPPED talking. I have taken him to special docs and such for a while, no improvement. He has been seeing a chiro for three years, and although he enjoys it, it isn't going anywhere.
I know I am not buying the Mercury thing. I have been reading so much about it and it just doesn't make sense. If Mercury is the cause, why is it that my friends who do NOT vaccinate still have children with Autism? And, why is it that some kids who do chelation don't improve? I just don't think this is the route I want to go. I am not sure it is something that needs to be cured.
Neurodiversity: These people have a great mindset. Accept the kid the way they are. But is sitting back and letting things happen naturally going to make him fall so far behind we will never reach him? I am afraid to find out! I want to just accept him and move along, but it is so scary and surreal.
Behavior modification: Do his behaviors need to be changed or suppressed? Is it so bad that he flaps his hands and jumps up and down? Ok, the destructive stuff has to go (it is getting expensive) but do I need to do intense therapy with him 30+ hours a week, ignore the rest of the family and home and hope he improves?
Floortime: Sounds good on paper. I have read tons on it. I want to do the training ($$, as usual) but Darling isn't 100% convinced. But, is it too close to behavioral interventions? Is changing his behavior wrong?
Cure Autism Now: They have a good message, great research, very vocal, very involved. I signed up to do the walk and field a team. I even told my family about it. But now I am not certain I want to do it. I am not sure that Autism is something that needs to be cured, or if it can be cured. Call me a skeptic. I admit it. But I cannot support them if they want me to raise money for them so that they can do another study on mercury, thimerisol, etc. I know they do so much more, but I am having a very tough time deciding on this one.
Autism Society of America: They are coming across kinda negative to me. They keep talking about how hard it is, how it is torture, how difficult it is for the kids. Like it is a disease. Like it makes my sons' lives miserable. I will admit it, it is not tea and cakes on a daily basis. But my kids are HAPPY and healthy and love. Therefore they are WORTH having! I don't think of them as an epidemic or a mistake. I think of them as an expression of Darling and my love. And a gift from God (hence Bugaboo's name). That may not be their intention, but that is how I took it.
You see, most of the groups out there make you feel like you have to do tons of intervention, therapy, meds, mods, etc. "Your kids aren't normal. Your kids aren't typical. They need to be changed, they need help, they are miserable. " I don't feel that way! I want them to be happy and loved and to succeed the best way they can. They are loved by us and God, unconditionally. So why does everyone want them to be "OK?" Aren't they ok?
As you can see, I am having some very conflicting thoughts this weekend. Could be the "AF" hormones, could be sleep deprivation. Could also be me reading into things too much, and thinking too much. Bug Boy told us last night that his brain goes so fast sometimes it makes him want to scream. I totally know what he means. And I know where he gets it!! It is difficult to make a decision when all of these thoughts are swirling around inside my brain like a cyclone.
I think I should go to bed and lay off of the caffeine for a few days...
UPDATE:
I wrote that post last night before I had any sleep. It has been a stressful week due to little sleep and Bugaboo's health issues. He has a nasty cold and feels lousy and keeps waking up at night. Now, I have been used to waking up several times a night, but then he spoiled me and started sleeping through. I don't know which I prefer!
So, I am feeling better. Still confused, not so overwhelmed. But still need to lay off of the caffeine.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Things I want to say
Last week I spent hours reading other people's blogs. I love reading about their adoptions, births, family issues, heartfelt feelings, love life's, the list goes on. In some ways it makes me feel so NORMAL, in other ways I feel so fortunate just to have what I have, no matter how horrible of a day we had. There are always people who have it worse than we do, and they handle their difficulties with more grace and composure than I could ever muster. Oh, how it humbles me!
I am truly blessed. God picked me to do a very important job and I hope I am fulfilling my duties. In the meantime, I am doing the best I can. But I still need to vent, and this is my forum, my outlet, if you will. So, without further adieu, I bring you, "Things I want (read: need) to say."
Darling: I love you with all my heart. You are a wonderful husband and father (I've told him this part many times). But, you get so caught up in your projects, your garage stuff and your grass-cutting that you tend to ignore the kids a little too much. I know you just finished ten hours of hectic office politics, but I need you to be here when you get home. That is, I need you to take over. They are only awake for about two hours (sometimes less) when you get home. Can't you watch tv or tinker with your jeep or lawn mower then? I need a break! I know you try, and sometimes you deliver. But I need you to be more accountable and responsible. Oh, and on weekends, let's keep the garage disappearing act to a few hours, not 8-12, mmkay?
Brother: You are young, vibrant and hold more potential in your pinky than the other six of us ever had. Every time I think you are headed down the right path and have everything going for you, you get caught up in something. You are going to lose your career, the one you have worked so hard to establish. You are doing so well for yourself! We are so proud of you, why do you have get around the wrong people? I know that isn't you. You are a kind and loving person, you are thoughtful and fun-loving. The kids love you because you are a "fun uncle" and you give them the neatest Christmas presents (which, by the way, you spend WAY too much money on!). Please, please, PLEASE slow down and start thinking about your future. You are a good looking guy, you could do better than you've been doing! You would make a fine husband and father if you'd just cut out the teenage antics!
Other brother: You are going to be thirty years old. Shape up, get a life, stop getting canned from every job you have and MOVE OUT OF MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE!!!!! I love you, but you also act like a teenager. And I can't believe that anyone in their right mind would still want to live with mom and dad! Except that you are enabled at every turn and you take full advantage of it. I love you.
Third brother: You are a great guy, have great connections and work harder than anyone I've every met. Who else has held 3-5 jobs his entire working career? No one! However, you are on the fast track for burn out. Sloooooow doooowwwnnnn. You work too hard. Your wife does nothing except take advantage of that fact. She spends your hard-earned money on her frivolous affairs and isn't responsible. And when I call her princess, I mean it in a mean way. It isn't a term of endearment. Oh, and by the way, some of us LIKE having kids and the lifestyle that goes along with it. So stop making snide remarks about how it has ruined our lives, because believe it or not, we LIKE this torture!
Dear sister: I love that you know every movie ever made. Every tv show, even. You are a walking movie and TV tome. And witty and smart, genius even. You and I are the only people I know that read books at school dances and parties. However, I am very concerned about your son. Git yer head outta yer rear end and do something about it. I know how you feel about psychologists and doctors (or, aas you affectionately refer to them, "quacks.") but believe it or not, some of them DO HELP YOU. And will help your son. Please, for his sake, get him to a doctor for an evaluation. He needs help. He is four-years-old and his behaviours are out of control. He has autism. It runs in the family. It sucks, but there is NOTHING you can do about it. So stop running away from it and do something to help your son reach his potential! While it is cute that he repeats everything he hears, memorizes books and movie and TV characters and has a train obsession like his four male cousins, many of his behaviors (ok, almost all) indicate autism. So go do something about it.
(kind sounds like I am picking on my family, huh?)
Dear MIL: I know you mean well, and you do try sometimes, but you do not try hard enough with Bugaboo. He needs you. He needs you to be consistent. And you play favorites with your grandsons. You basically honor Bug Boy because he is the first and spoil and dote on Beach Baby because he lived so far away for so long. You totally ignore Bugaboo and it isn't acceptable. He doesn't hate you, he doesn't ignore you. He has autism. Deal with it. I know it hurts you and it worries you, but how do you think it makes us feel? It isn't a party you know! But we are dealing with it. We are capable of making decisions regarding his welfare. SO stop asking stupid questions, doing research on the internet and questioning his medical care when I get 2-3 opinions from well-qualified medical professionals. Start being his grandmother. There is a way to reach this child, take the time to figure out how.
Dear son: I love you so very much! You have the brightest smile on your face every morning when I have the privilege of being the first to see you open your eyes. You are the sunshine on a cloudy day for me, the beat of my heart. But I am in so much pain to see you this way. I want so much to hear your little three-year-old voice. I want you to look in my eyes and let me know it is all ok. Please, communicate with us! We need you! If you could only tell me how you feel, if your tummy hurts, what you want for dinner or that you'd like to go out and play. Or not. Just tell us! We are trying so hard to reach you and figure out what it is you need! It is such a guessing game. I know you are doing the best you know how, but you have so much potential. You are so smart! I have never seen a child do some of the things you do. Your five-year-old brother doesn't even do them. But you can! Show us what else you can do! Sing the alphabet with me! Play Head-shoulders-knees-and-toes! I don't want to pressure you but so many people have already given up on you and have written you off. I know you are still in there. Show us!
Tabloid and news media: Leave them alone. I know you think that because they have a public lifestyle that it means you can follow them around and exploit them, but that doesn't mean you can do crazy things like box their cars in, take pictures of their kids and stand around their house, or better yet, fly around their houses. I know they could do better to protect themselves and give photo ops so that you'd leave them alone more, but the children! Stop taking pictures of the kids! That really, REALLY bothers me! If you want photograph their cottage-cheese thighs and their nipples hanging out of their bathing suits, that is on you. But please don't take pictures of their kids. It is so insanely wrong.
Political people: You could be doing a better job. I voted for many of you. But you are sending our country to heck-in-a-handbasket and I am embarrassed! My overseas friends ask me some weird questions that I don't know how to answer. What the HECK are we doing there? Please don't let this turn into another Vietnam. And start admitting that this has more to do with Oil and our interest in it (hmmm, the president is an oil tycoon, interesting!) and less to do with establishing democracy in a country that has no hope for it since they have no desire to protect human rights. I am in support of our troops and I believe in our country. I believe that their tyrannical dictator is an evil man who must face justice. I even believe they aided terrorism and may even have WMDs hidden SOMEWHERE. But I don't think this was the way to go about it. I am no expert (and please don't flame me in the comments section, I won't respond!), but I do know that something just doesn't seem right. I don't watch the news, and I rarely read it, but I know what I know...And there are people in other countries that need our help more that DON'T have oil and have darker skin and their women and children and suffering atrocities that shouldn't ever be, why isn't anyone helping them?
People who sit behind red tape: You make it much to difficult to obtain therapeutic services for our children. They are entitled to a certain amount by law and you just make the process draining so that more parents will give up before their children receive what they need. But not here! We will fight to the bitter end because my child is worth it. He will get what he needs. I am not interested in taking more than he is allowed, I am not one of those parents who are sue-happy and get the district to pay for private school (which is where they would have sent their kids anyway, if they had been typical). But, he deserves a chance to learn to speak and behave like any other three-year-old. Mmmkay?
Ok, I bet you don't want to read any more of my thoughts. I have more people to "talk" to but won't today. I feel better already!
I am truly blessed. God picked me to do a very important job and I hope I am fulfilling my duties. In the meantime, I am doing the best I can. But I still need to vent, and this is my forum, my outlet, if you will. So, without further adieu, I bring you, "Things I want (read: need) to say."
Darling: I love you with all my heart. You are a wonderful husband and father (I've told him this part many times). But, you get so caught up in your projects, your garage stuff and your grass-cutting that you tend to ignore the kids a little too much. I know you just finished ten hours of hectic office politics, but I need you to be here when you get home. That is, I need you to take over. They are only awake for about two hours (sometimes less) when you get home. Can't you watch tv or tinker with your jeep or lawn mower then? I need a break! I know you try, and sometimes you deliver. But I need you to be more accountable and responsible. Oh, and on weekends, let's keep the garage disappearing act to a few hours, not 8-12, mmkay?
Brother: You are young, vibrant and hold more potential in your pinky than the other six of us ever had. Every time I think you are headed down the right path and have everything going for you, you get caught up in something. You are going to lose your career, the one you have worked so hard to establish. You are doing so well for yourself! We are so proud of you, why do you have get around the wrong people? I know that isn't you. You are a kind and loving person, you are thoughtful and fun-loving. The kids love you because you are a "fun uncle" and you give them the neatest Christmas presents (which, by the way, you spend WAY too much money on!). Please, please, PLEASE slow down and start thinking about your future. You are a good looking guy, you could do better than you've been doing! You would make a fine husband and father if you'd just cut out the teenage antics!
Other brother: You are going to be thirty years old. Shape up, get a life, stop getting canned from every job you have and MOVE OUT OF MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE!!!!! I love you, but you also act like a teenager. And I can't believe that anyone in their right mind would still want to live with mom and dad! Except that you are enabled at every turn and you take full advantage of it. I love you.
Third brother: You are a great guy, have great connections and work harder than anyone I've every met. Who else has held 3-5 jobs his entire working career? No one! However, you are on the fast track for burn out. Sloooooow doooowwwnnnn. You work too hard. Your wife does nothing except take advantage of that fact. She spends your hard-earned money on her frivolous affairs and isn't responsible. And when I call her princess, I mean it in a mean way. It isn't a term of endearment. Oh, and by the way, some of us LIKE having kids and the lifestyle that goes along with it. So stop making snide remarks about how it has ruined our lives, because believe it or not, we LIKE this torture!
Dear sister: I love that you know every movie ever made. Every tv show, even. You are a walking movie and TV tome. And witty and smart, genius even. You and I are the only people I know that read books at school dances and parties. However, I am very concerned about your son. Git yer head outta yer rear end and do something about it. I know how you feel about psychologists and doctors (or, aas you affectionately refer to them, "quacks.") but believe it or not, some of them DO HELP YOU. And will help your son. Please, for his sake, get him to a doctor for an evaluation. He needs help. He is four-years-old and his behaviours are out of control. He has autism. It runs in the family. It sucks, but there is NOTHING you can do about it. So stop running away from it and do something to help your son reach his potential! While it is cute that he repeats everything he hears, memorizes books and movie and TV characters and has a train obsession like his four male cousins, many of his behaviors (ok, almost all) indicate autism. So go do something about it.
(kind sounds like I am picking on my family, huh?)
Dear MIL: I know you mean well, and you do try sometimes, but you do not try hard enough with Bugaboo. He needs you. He needs you to be consistent. And you play favorites with your grandsons. You basically honor Bug Boy because he is the first and spoil and dote on Beach Baby because he lived so far away for so long. You totally ignore Bugaboo and it isn't acceptable. He doesn't hate you, he doesn't ignore you. He has autism. Deal with it. I know it hurts you and it worries you, but how do you think it makes us feel? It isn't a party you know! But we are dealing with it. We are capable of making decisions regarding his welfare. SO stop asking stupid questions, doing research on the internet and questioning his medical care when I get 2-3 opinions from well-qualified medical professionals. Start being his grandmother. There is a way to reach this child, take the time to figure out how.
Dear son: I love you so very much! You have the brightest smile on your face every morning when I have the privilege of being the first to see you open your eyes. You are the sunshine on a cloudy day for me, the beat of my heart. But I am in so much pain to see you this way. I want so much to hear your little three-year-old voice. I want you to look in my eyes and let me know it is all ok. Please, communicate with us! We need you! If you could only tell me how you feel, if your tummy hurts, what you want for dinner or that you'd like to go out and play. Or not. Just tell us! We are trying so hard to reach you and figure out what it is you need! It is such a guessing game. I know you are doing the best you know how, but you have so much potential. You are so smart! I have never seen a child do some of the things you do. Your five-year-old brother doesn't even do them. But you can! Show us what else you can do! Sing the alphabet with me! Play Head-shoulders-knees-and-toes! I don't want to pressure you but so many people have already given up on you and have written you off. I know you are still in there. Show us!
Tabloid and news media: Leave them alone. I know you think that because they have a public lifestyle that it means you can follow them around and exploit them, but that doesn't mean you can do crazy things like box their cars in, take pictures of their kids and stand around their house, or better yet, fly around their houses. I know they could do better to protect themselves and give photo ops so that you'd leave them alone more, but the children! Stop taking pictures of the kids! That really, REALLY bothers me! If you want photograph their cottage-cheese thighs and their nipples hanging out of their bathing suits, that is on you. But please don't take pictures of their kids. It is so insanely wrong.
Political people: You could be doing a better job. I voted for many of you. But you are sending our country to heck-in-a-handbasket and I am embarrassed! My overseas friends ask me some weird questions that I don't know how to answer. What the HECK are we doing there? Please don't let this turn into another Vietnam. And start admitting that this has more to do with Oil and our interest in it (hmmm, the president is an oil tycoon, interesting!) and less to do with establishing democracy in a country that has no hope for it since they have no desire to protect human rights. I am in support of our troops and I believe in our country. I believe that their tyrannical dictator is an evil man who must face justice. I even believe they aided terrorism and may even have WMDs hidden SOMEWHERE. But I don't think this was the way to go about it. I am no expert (and please don't flame me in the comments section, I won't respond!), but I do know that something just doesn't seem right. I don't watch the news, and I rarely read it, but I know what I know...And there are people in other countries that need our help more that DON'T have oil and have darker skin and their women and children and suffering atrocities that shouldn't ever be, why isn't anyone helping them?
People who sit behind red tape: You make it much to difficult to obtain therapeutic services for our children. They are entitled to a certain amount by law and you just make the process draining so that more parents will give up before their children receive what they need. But not here! We will fight to the bitter end because my child is worth it. He will get what he needs. I am not interested in taking more than he is allowed, I am not one of those parents who are sue-happy and get the district to pay for private school (which is where they would have sent their kids anyway, if they had been typical). But, he deserves a chance to learn to speak and behave like any other three-year-old. Mmmkay?
Ok, I bet you don't want to read any more of my thoughts. I have more people to "talk" to but won't today. I feel better already!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Long time, no blog!
We decided to take a short holiday at the family's cabin in the middle-of-nowhere-Pennsylvania. It was divine. The weather was perfect, the kids had a great time and the adults (darling and myself) relaxed! I even SAT AND DID CROSSWORD PUZZLES!!!! And sudoku and logic puzzles. I am still in awe.
Bugaboo ended up getting sick, nothing new there. He woke up Saturday morning with eye boogers (ewwwww!) and They became progressively worse as the weekend passed. By the time we drove home Monday morning his eyes were stuck together, his tear ducts were running worse than his nose and he cried yellow tears. I thought he had pink eye. WRONG!
It took a few hours to get a cell phone signal since we were coming home through the mountains. I managed to get a call in to the pediatrician, and miraculously she was open on a holiday weekend. So, we brought him right in and she told us he had CELLULITIS. Which, as I understand it, is when the tissue surrounding a wound or infection gets infected and inflamed. Which is why my dear Bugaboo resembled Rocky Balboa. No worries, if the antibiotic and eye drops didn't work we were just gonna have to go to the hospital and be admitted for an IV to get those germs outta there.
Needless to say I had a minor panic episode, since we had a surgical procedure scheduled for this child and had to postpone it due to illness FOUR TIMES. There was no way I was going to let it get postponed again! NO SIR!!! I made SURE that he choked down the antibiotic and Darling and I devised a way to get the eye drops in several times a day by sitting on him. Yes, I said sitting on him. Hey, whatever works, right?
So, Bugaboo had the procedure(s). His eyes are better. His nose is now oozing green slime, and said slime now covers my shirt, stomach and hair from his hugs and "kisses." He'll be right as rain in a few days. And, even after being under anesthesia for a spell he woke right up and hopped out of the hospital bed ready to get his day going. The child never ceases to amaze me.
Bugaboo ended up getting sick, nothing new there. He woke up Saturday morning with eye boogers (ewwwww!) and They became progressively worse as the weekend passed. By the time we drove home Monday morning his eyes were stuck together, his tear ducts were running worse than his nose and he cried yellow tears. I thought he had pink eye. WRONG!
It took a few hours to get a cell phone signal since we were coming home through the mountains. I managed to get a call in to the pediatrician, and miraculously she was open on a holiday weekend. So, we brought him right in and she told us he had CELLULITIS. Which, as I understand it, is when the tissue surrounding a wound or infection gets infected and inflamed. Which is why my dear Bugaboo resembled Rocky Balboa. No worries, if the antibiotic and eye drops didn't work we were just gonna have to go to the hospital and be admitted for an IV to get those germs outta there.
Needless to say I had a minor panic episode, since we had a surgical procedure scheduled for this child and had to postpone it due to illness FOUR TIMES. There was no way I was going to let it get postponed again! NO SIR!!! I made SURE that he choked down the antibiotic and Darling and I devised a way to get the eye drops in several times a day by sitting on him. Yes, I said sitting on him. Hey, whatever works, right?
So, Bugaboo had the procedure(s). His eyes are better. His nose is now oozing green slime, and said slime now covers my shirt, stomach and hair from his hugs and "kisses." He'll be right as rain in a few days. And, even after being under anesthesia for a spell he woke right up and hopped out of the hospital bed ready to get his day going. The child never ceases to amaze me.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Another one bites the dust!
WOOHOO!
Borg has assimilated another! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
My sister, who has been following my blog, is now starting her own. She put her first post up last night. I can't wait to see what she does in the future, since she is a very creative person. She sing, plays guitar, writes poetry, paints and even used to write short stories. She hasn't done anything very creative in a while (I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean she hasn't kept up with her hobbies lately) so it will be neat to read her blog. Please stop by and visit her! I have her on my links bar.
Now I have to get the other five doing it! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Except one sister is very computer savvy, the other can sort of do a few things (like E-mail and surf) one brother has three jobs and is a cop and would NEVER post stuff online and the other two, well, let's just say that they are more myspace material.
We are off for the weekend, heading to our paradise (family cabin) for a weekend of R&R. HA! I made a funny! R&R with kids! As if!
Borg has assimilated another! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
My sister, who has been following my blog, is now starting her own. She put her first post up last night. I can't wait to see what she does in the future, since she is a very creative person. She sing, plays guitar, writes poetry, paints and even used to write short stories. She hasn't done anything very creative in a while (I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean she hasn't kept up with her hobbies lately) so it will be neat to read her blog. Please stop by and visit her! I have her on my links bar.
Now I have to get the other five doing it! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Except one sister is very computer savvy, the other can sort of do a few things (like E-mail and surf) one brother has three jobs and is a cop and would NEVER post stuff online and the other two, well, let's just say that they are more myspace material.
We are off for the weekend, heading to our paradise (family cabin) for a weekend of R&R. HA! I made a funny! R&R with kids! As if!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Thursday Thirteen
I messed up on posts, so my Thursday Thirteen is actually on Tuesday, two below this one. Don't miss it! It is a true original! HA!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Wordless Wednesday
This is Lake Erie, I mean, my backyard. After five straight days of rain, and several before that, we end up with plenty of standing water to allow the mosquitos to regenerate. With this humidity, it is more like the Everglades...
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Thirteen Reasons Marj Maintains a Blog
- All of the other kids do it.
- It is a geeky thing to do, and geek is chic!
- I find it therapeutic, almost like keeping a diary.
- It gives me a creative outlet.
- Blogging is a nice distraction from what is going on around me. Which is ALOT.
- I feel empowered to be able to tell my story in my own words.
- So that my IRL friends can keep up with my inner-most thoughts when they can't see me, and so I don't have to post it all on flying-in-PA-Delco.
- I like 'puters and this is just another way to sit in front of one.
- I am hoping to be discovered and become a famous Hollywood Writer.
- I am trying to develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
- It is good practice for playing the piano. The more I type, the better fine-motor coordination I develop, the better I can play more difficult pieces.
- I am hoping someone Googles "Baby Ax Murder Bug collection Autism" and finds my site.
- Tens of people are counting on me for inspiration and entertainment and therefore read my blog with an avid desire.
Dr. Destructo
My Sister's husband has a pet name for Bugaboo, "Dr. Destructo."
Bugaboo has this habit of swirling around the house (or anyone's house, for that matter) like a tornado and destroying anything and everything in his path. A few weeks ago it was glasses he decided to fling on the floor. You know, drinking glasses? Before that he pushed out every screen that he could find. Then there was the CD drive in our relatively new computer. And now the little door that covers the drive to keep dirt and little fingers out.
Bugaboo also likes to close doors. No, make that, SLAM doors. He is particularly fond of the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. A month ago he began the annoying habit of parking himself on the floor in front of the cabinet and slamming the doors with his feet. When we ask him to stop and redirect him, he goes to the bathroom. Then he goes to the other bathroom. Then back to the kitchen. In order to curb the door-slamming we bought magnetic door locks (which we had in our former abode), which have sat in a bag in the basement for the past month. I have asked Darling to put them on, oh, at least one hundred times.
So, the locks still aren't on. Bugaboo cracked the wood on the kitchen door last night. When Darling got angry I reminded him that Bugaboo can't help it, he is still learning, and Darling should have put the locks on a month ago. Grumble, grumble. So he goes to the basement, gets the locks, starts taking the door apart, gets side-tracked in the basement and spent the rest of the night bolting the laundry tub to the floor, because the agitation of the washer moved the tub and made water spill all over the floor. So the doors still don't have locks on them.
Now, we have baby gates, door alarms, door-knob covers, plastic outlet covers, a fireplace lock, door locks (the one that goes on the handle and holds the handles together) and cabinet locks. But the kitchen has no knobs so the only lock we could use is the magnetic lock. I don't like those little plastic ones that go on the inside of the door, we used to have them and they can STILL open the doors about 1/2 and inch and slam them, and their little fingers.
I am praying that DH will get the locks done tonight. My sanity depends on it.
And, if I knew where the heck he hid his drill, I would have put them on MYSELF!!!
Bugaboo has this habit of swirling around the house (or anyone's house, for that matter) like a tornado and destroying anything and everything in his path. A few weeks ago it was glasses he decided to fling on the floor. You know, drinking glasses? Before that he pushed out every screen that he could find. Then there was the CD drive in our relatively new computer. And now the little door that covers the drive to keep dirt and little fingers out.
Bugaboo also likes to close doors. No, make that, SLAM doors. He is particularly fond of the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. A month ago he began the annoying habit of parking himself on the floor in front of the cabinet and slamming the doors with his feet. When we ask him to stop and redirect him, he goes to the bathroom. Then he goes to the other bathroom. Then back to the kitchen. In order to curb the door-slamming we bought magnetic door locks (which we had in our former abode), which have sat in a bag in the basement for the past month. I have asked Darling to put them on, oh, at least one hundred times.
So, the locks still aren't on. Bugaboo cracked the wood on the kitchen door last night. When Darling got angry I reminded him that Bugaboo can't help it, he is still learning, and Darling should have put the locks on a month ago. Grumble, grumble. So he goes to the basement, gets the locks, starts taking the door apart, gets side-tracked in the basement and spent the rest of the night bolting the laundry tub to the floor, because the agitation of the washer moved the tub and made water spill all over the floor. So the doors still don't have locks on them.
Now, we have baby gates, door alarms, door-knob covers, plastic outlet covers, a fireplace lock, door locks (the one that goes on the handle and holds the handles together) and cabinet locks. But the kitchen has no knobs so the only lock we could use is the magnetic lock. I don't like those little plastic ones that go on the inside of the door, we used to have them and they can STILL open the doors about 1/2 and inch and slam them, and their little fingers.
I am praying that DH will get the locks done tonight. My sanity depends on it.
And, if I knew where the heck he hid his drill, I would have put them on MYSELF!!!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Summer Camp started today!
I can barely contain the excitement I feel! Summer Camp, for both boys, started today!!! WAHHHOOOO!!!! Wait, wait, hear that? No? That's 'cause there is NO NOISE and I am by myself, able to think, eat, drink, pee without interruption for FIVE HOURS!!!
I feel a little guilty being this excited about it. I honestly do think I've earned the little break. And the kids are getting quite a bit out of it, since it is a T-camp (Therapeutic Camp) which provides them socialization, sensory opportunities and just all around fun. The counselors are dedicated and caring (young 20-something girls fresh outta college, in some respects) and experienced. The boys love, LOVE them. Especially the red-heads. Bugaboo tends to find the first red-head and hugs away!
I decided this morning that I would like to take advantage of the transportation after all. I think driving them and picking them up each day eats up time and money. Especially since it is FREE. Free for me, anyway. But I indirectly pay for it as a taxpayer.
I had about 50 things planned. I got done one thing so far. Or, a half or one thing. I will be more proactive tomorrow. Right now I am just enjoying being able to sit and not hear something break or worry about food being thrown on the floor or worrying about a child escaping into the backyard without supervision. Ahhhh...Calgon, take me away!
I feel a little guilty being this excited about it. I honestly do think I've earned the little break. And the kids are getting quite a bit out of it, since it is a T-camp (Therapeutic Camp) which provides them socialization, sensory opportunities and just all around fun. The counselors are dedicated and caring (young 20-something girls fresh outta college, in some respects) and experienced. The boys love, LOVE them. Especially the red-heads. Bugaboo tends to find the first red-head and hugs away!
I decided this morning that I would like to take advantage of the transportation after all. I think driving them and picking them up each day eats up time and money. Especially since it is FREE. Free for me, anyway. But I indirectly pay for it as a taxpayer.
I had about 50 things planned. I got done one thing so far. Or, a half or one thing. I will be more proactive tomorrow. Right now I am just enjoying being able to sit and not hear something break or worry about food being thrown on the floor or worrying about a child escaping into the backyard without supervision. Ahhhh...Calgon, take me away!
Friday, June 23, 2006
The Amazing Bug Boy
Bug Boy is one amazing kid. And I am not just saying that because I am his mother (although I am a tad biased in that respect). He is five, very precocious and full of energy. He was a late talker by developmental standards and didn't babble or even say one word until two-and-a-half, when he spoke in COMPLETE sentences and paragraphs. He was articulate and rarely mispronounced anything, although we have a list of "bug boy-isms" such as:
- Gutchy (yucky)
- An-too-blantz (ambulance)
- suh-pa-ghetti (spaghetti)
- Hop-sit-all
- Dro-dro (Alyson, we are still scratching our heads about this one!)
And he didn't just say one or two things. This child was not reticent by ANY means of the word. He never stopped. Ever. Not for a minute. He narrated everything he saw and did. His speech was an endless stream of his thoughts, and he did not keep his thoughts hidden inside! Here is an example of a conversation with Bug Boy:
BB: Mom! Did you see that? That was a jeep! Daddy has a jeep! A CJ-7! That was NOT a CJ-7 'cause they don't make 'em anymore. That was a bad jeep. Daddy doesn't have a bad jeep. His is black. That jeep was not black. That jeep was red! You know who has a red car? Gammy! And so does Pop-Pop! And Uncle John has the same car as Pop-Pop. They have broncos. Uncle Jay had a bronco. I saw a bronco right there! Look!
Mommy: Uh-huh...
Yes. The conversation goes just like that. He jumps from one subject to the next. And it is all. one. breath. No stopping, and it is faster than a speed talker.
Early on we gave him the nickname of "Rain Man" because the kid sounds like Dustin Hoffman rocking on the porch getting upset about People's Court. And Bug Boy does get that upset about things when they don't go his way or he is late or thinks he has to do something.
We have since realized that is not an appropriate moniker, mostly because now both boys have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum disorder. Bugaboo was diagnosed with Autism and Bug Boy was diagnosed with Asperger's/PDD, depending on whom you ask. And here is the freakiest thing about it: I have a few nephews, all from my three sisters, that have VERY similar traits. One has a diagnosis of Asperger's, one most likely has PDD (Bug Boy's twin) but is doing VERY well, and the other we are certain has Autism, although his mother refuses to have him evaluated because "psychologists and doctors are quacks." And, we are holding our collective breaths on the baby, he turns one in July and I am PRAYING his pattern doesn't follow the others. But so far it has.
And the amazing part? He is one smart cookie. He may not get the pragmatics of language but he can memorize everything he sees and hears. And he never forgets, the little elephant. He is hyperlexic (affinity for letters) and is reading on a first grade level. And we didn't teach him, he just "gets it" on his own. Weird! At the age of two, just after he learned to talk, he'd point to a stop sign and say, "That's a red octagon! And it says S-T-O-P! STOP!" It astounded everyone around us. And now when he goes to the Red Bulls Eye Store he gets into conversations with the cashiers and others shopping around us and tells them his whole life story (which is a bit unnerving!):
BB: My name is Bug Boy middle name last name andI live at 123 Main Street in Anytown, Pennsyl-VAN-ia and my mom's name is M-j and my Dad's name is Darling and my brother's name is Bugaboo and I have a dog named Shadow. I go to school at XYZ preschool and I am in Mrs. Teacher's class and next year I will be in Kindergarten! Because I don't know my teacher's name yet because I went to visit the school and I really like it. I will have OT. I like OT, it is really fun!
Person is store: Uh huh...
People think it is cute, but it is REALLY dangerous. Which is why he won't learn his SS number or my credit card number. Ever.
I will leave you with one final conversation between Bug Boy and his 'twin' cousin, Dino Boy:
BB: Hey! Dino Boy! Let's play crash-up derby with my Nascars! Here is the track, it is a Bristol Night Race. Jeff Gordon crashed and Tony Stewart's engine blew up. "Oh no! I blew my engine up (Tony Stewart voice with car)" "Oh! I am going to crash into Robbie Gordon! Hey guys, I'm gonna win 'cause I'm DaleEarnhardtJunior and my Dad is DaleSenior!"
DB: (in dinosaur voice) Roar! I am a veloceraptor and I am going to shred you to bits! ROOOAAARRR!!!! (stomps around room like a dinosaur. For an hour.) Roar! Here comes T. Rex and he is going to save the day! Go T. Rex, GOOOOO!!!!
BB: Ok, here they come around turn two and Dale Jr. is in the lead! But wait! Here comes Kyle Petty (very unlikely, btw) for the win! And it's the Petty Car! WOOHOO!!!
DB: And the dinosaurs crash into the track and eat everybody! Except for the plant eaters, they eat the plants! Roar! ROOOOAAAARRR!!! (stomps around the room for another hour.)
BB: Crash! Crash! CRASH! Now it's a demolition derby and everybody crashed! The cars are all blowing up! There's a fire! WOOHOO!
DB: ROOOOAAAARRR! The dinosaur is going to eat the other dinosaur!! ROOAORRR!!! (stomps around some more).
Yes. That is an almost word-for-word transcription of an actual play date with Dino Boy and Bug Boy. They have two completely different conversations and somehow understand what each other is saying. It is a SCREAM to watch, so if you need some comedy relief, feel free to observe one of their sleepovers or playdates!
*** sorry for the violent portrayal of the boys and their play, but they are a little preoccupied with crashing and eating right now!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen things I want to accomplish when the kids are at camp this summer!
9-2! EVERYDAY! WOOHOO!
- apply joint compound and sand (several times)
- paint Halls, LR, DR and Kitchen
- declutter my house
- get the last of the boxes out of the attic and go through them!
- Gardening
- Work out!
- Paint Bugaboo's room
- Make curtains for Bug Boy's room
- Go out to breakfast with a friend I rarely see
- Play the piano without interruption
- Learn to photoshop
- Go through the toys in the playroom and purge
- Listen to the silence
They won't be gone all summer, just six weeks. Bugaboo has school in between (he goes year-round). But still, it will be nice! And, the best part is that the camp is F-R-E-E! Covered under the mental health portion of their insurance and is part of their wrap-around services for autism services. So, sometimes the system works in our favor. Sometimes...
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Works-for-me-Wednesday
I saw this on a few other blogs and love the idea of Mommas sharing their little tidbits to help one another. So, here is my little example of what "works for me:"
My kids love arts and crafts and need tons of sensory. They also love water. So, when the weather is warm and they wanna be outside and want to do something with their hands, I give them buckets of water and dollar-store paint brushes. House-paint-sized brushes. They go to town on the fence, garage, swingset, deck, toys, fence, dog house, you name it. It is even more fun when I let them have the sidewalk chalk first and THEN give them the paint brushes. OOOOOOooooo, swirly colors! They love doing this.
Have fun!
My kids love arts and crafts and need tons of sensory. They also love water. So, when the weather is warm and they wanna be outside and want to do something with their hands, I give them buckets of water and dollar-store paint brushes. House-paint-sized brushes. They go to town on the fence, garage, swingset, deck, toys, fence, dog house, you name it. It is even more fun when I let them have the sidewalk chalk first and THEN give them the paint brushes. OOOOOOooooo, swirly colors! They love doing this.
Have fun!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Ode to my Shad Roe
Spoiled doggie in her very own swimming pool!
Spoiled doggie suns herself to dry off before jumping in AGAIN.
Shadow never complains! She puts up with all of the kids' antics. They lay on her, stand on her, sit on her, pull her hair, feed her an assortment of edibles and non-edibles and tease her and she still comes back happily asking for kisses and belly rubs. She may be pampered and spoiled (and high-energy and a spaz) but she fits in well around here!
Shadow acts like she is starving on a daily basis (eighty pounds, at last visit!). She eats anything, and I mean ANYTHING. Her favorite foods are watermelon and carrots. And bones, but we try not to give her any. Sometimes she gets them on her own (i.e. out of the trash) and in the middle of the night leaves me a little regurgitated gift at the bottom of the stairs. Her middle name is Hoover, since she cleans up after the kids and I don't have to sweep often!
We got Shadow six-and-a-half years ago at the SPCA. She was a sick eight-wee-old puppy, the runt of a litter of ten. They told us she was a shepard mix and would grow to be forty pounds, which she surpassed at six months. Two other dogs from her litter were adopted near our home and we have met her brother and sister. She is twice their size! Turns out she is a Border Collie and Black Lab mix and she inherited her size and bulk from the lab while proudly showing off her border collie coat and play skills. And yes, she herds the children. And the squirrels, rabbits and birds that are brave enough to show up in our yard!
Shadow will jump in a puddle and swim in a lake. She has her own baby pool because she hogs the water from the kids. When we take her upstate she will swim across the lake and back and wade in the deep mountain creeks. But she does not appreciate getting baths. If we mention the words "bath," "stink" or "dirty" to her, she runs and hides.
She is so smart we have to spell certain words around her, but she now knows that W-A-L-K means walk and gets very excited and runs to the door. It took less than a week to house train her, by the second day she had no accidents in the house. She learned several "stupid pet" tricks but can't catch a ball or Frisbee since she has eye problems. She does NOT walk well on a leash since she is trying to herd everything the entire time and must walk in a complete square. You cannot walk any other way, she can't handle the anxiety.
Yeah, she's spoiled. And we feed into it. We had her long before the kids, our first baby. She sleeps on our bed, climbs on the couch with us and cuddles in the winter in front of the fireplace to keep warm. She was so sick when we got her (three kinds of worms, mange, ear mites, ticks AND fleas - in January!) and so malnourished, you'd never know it by looking at her beautiful shiny coat now!
Shad Roe - wonder pet extraordinaire!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Morbid curiosity?
For some strange reason whenever I pick up a newspaper (rare these days) or read the news, the first thing I turn to is the obituaries. I have done this since I was ten years old and had my first paper route. I'd crawl up to the paper delivery site ( a friend's house at the top of a VERY steep hill) at 5 am, open up the bundle and count out my papers, fold them in that special paperboy way and then sit and read...The obits.
I cannot even tell you where it comes from. I just want to know about people. I want to read about the wives, their offspring, how many grandchildren they doted on before they passed. Usually if you I that the request memorial contributions to the heart association or cancer society or hospice, I can pretty much guess how they died. I have a lump in my throat whenever I read them, especially if a young person or child pass. It must be a terrible heartache to have to live through the death of your child.
No matter where we go in the country to visit relatives I pick up that paper and read the obits. This is going to sound really macabre, but the best obits are in Salt Lake City. That's right, the Mormon Mecca (LDS, as they prefer). Those people know how to live. And die. Their obits are interesting! Their entire life story is printed. The obits have their own special section, not just tucked in behind the classifieds. It is almost like reading a mini autobiography or a short story.
I know it is a weird obsession. I am not proud of it. But through the blogger twelve step program I am learning to admit my downfalls and work through them. This blog stuff is extremely therapeutic.
I cannot even tell you where it comes from. I just want to know about people. I want to read about the wives, their offspring, how many grandchildren they doted on before they passed. Usually if you I that the request memorial contributions to the heart association or cancer society or hospice, I can pretty much guess how they died. I have a lump in my throat whenever I read them, especially if a young person or child pass. It must be a terrible heartache to have to live through the death of your child.
No matter where we go in the country to visit relatives I pick up that paper and read the obits. This is going to sound really macabre, but the best obits are in Salt Lake City. That's right, the Mormon Mecca (LDS, as they prefer). Those people know how to live. And die. Their obits are interesting! Their entire life story is printed. The obits have their own special section, not just tucked in behind the classifieds. It is almost like reading a mini autobiography or a short story.
I know it is a weird obsession. I am not proud of it. But through the blogger twelve step program I am learning to admit my downfalls and work through them. This blog stuff is extremely therapeutic.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Marj's list of thirteen things she is stuggling with right now
- I cannot understand why Bugaboo won't eat. He has to eat to survive, and he only eats toast and rice crackers. It gets worse every month. And the feeding clinic says he is getting enough to survive!
- I wish Darling was not so stressed about work. He is constantly consumed with the though of losing his job and not being able to support this family. He is also obsessed with money and goes to major extremes to save it, unless it is something for his jeep or garage. Grrrr...
- I am having some healthy problems that make me tired, sluggish, irritable and all of the above. Add in the numbness and altered sensations and it makes it very tough to deal with. As my IRL friends can testify, I am a very active person with tons of energy! This isn't right! Perhaps God's way of saying, "SLOW THE HECK DOWN!"
- the system to get decent services for your kids SUCKS. I shouldn't have to fight this hard to get them the MINIMAL. It just isn't fair. They should have it given to them automatically! I should have to prove how badly they need it!
- I want to go back to work. Soon. The sooner the better. But I literally do not have time, between therapies and doctor appointments. No one in their right mind would hire me, since I'd have to take every other day off.
- When I do go back to work, I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore. At least, not of kids with special needs. I think I'd burn out too fast! My degree is in Special Education, my student teaching was with kids with Autism! I can't do this 24 hours a day. Darling is not amused, especially since we still have 2 years of a student loan to pay.
- Finances. I try to budget, save money, not impulse buy. But I am a very impulsive person. It is the main reason I never, EVER carry cash. I'd spend it in a second. Credit cards are easy to pull out, but lately I have been using Debit, and that makes it easier for me to be more responsible, since there is only so much money in there!
- Bugaboo. I am frustrated, he is frustrated. The whole family is frustrated. His lack of willingness to communicate is really taking its toll. I am trying to patient, but he just flat out REFUSES. There is quite a bit of crying, whining, tantrums, hand-biting, etc.
- Bug Boy. His anxiety level has been much higher as of late. He knows that he is starting a new school and will have new friends and a new teacher. He has had the same preK teacher for two years and is very anxious about the new one, even though he REALLY wants to go to Kindergarten NOW. He loves school!
- The dog. I feel like I am neglecting her, and of course she is milking it for all it is worth. I rarely walk her more than 2 days a week these days. Thank goodness we have a large yard. She spends her days chasing squirrels and running around with the dogs next door. I try to spend some time each day exercising her in the yard.
- My parents. They are in outer space, and that is putting it mildly. My mom hasn't really been all there for about 20 years. Well, her whole life. She had some major issues as a kid, is Bi-Polar and is very difficult to deal with. I have never felt like she was my mom. My sisters and I have a very strong bond and I think it is because we don't' really have a mom, so we rely on each other for that emotional support. I am glad that I have my sisters!
- Depression. I have had it since I was a kid. I know Bug Boy is starting to show signs of it, and it terrifies me. It runs in the family. I have a brother who is also bi-polar. I was not diagnosed with it, but they said I can have manic episodes (like 4 hour cleaning binges at midnight). Uh, I know! I have tried several treatments, including counseling and meds (don't' like meds, so I don't take them). Know what works? Exercise! It is one of the few things that gets me out of it. But I have been struggling to find the time to do it!
- Time management. I need 26 hour days and 8 day weeks. Come to think of it, I could use 48 hour days. Yeah, and sleep for 40 of them. That would help. But seriously, I am chronically running late these days and I used to be late for EVERYTHING. I think we just have WAY too much going on! And I am considering adding more OT for the boys! ACK! What am I thinking?
I think everyone runs ragged and everyone has stress in their lives. Dealing with it is the key. I think I am struggling because I haven't been to the Y in two weeks and now Aunt Flo is here to make my day. So, the hormones are no doubt the issue. Ask me again in three days, I will be singing a different tune!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Wordless Wednesday - Doggie Condo
Doggie Condo, handmade by Darling for the Shad Roe. She rarely goes in it and prefers to camp out NEXT to the doghouse.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Rock bottom and back up again
This crazy little world I live in is like the longest roller coaster ride. EVER. I mean, it goes up and down and around, and back upside down, up the hill, down the hill. Sometimes it stops. And just when I think the ride is over, and it is slowing down, I go back up the hill and brace myself for the very long drop ahead.
The past two weeks have been hectic at best, and depressing at worst. My SIL was here with her son for a visit. It was supposed to be a relaxing 10 days, some fun trips to the zoo or museums, about twenty trips to the park up the street. But, we all ended up with a stomach bug. It went through every single one of us, every two days. Bugaboo ended up in the emergency room, and they should have kept him a few days, since he doesn't cooperate with eating and drinking. But they sent him home and it took over a week to get him back to eating and drinking normally. Or at least normally for him.
Then my nephew ended up in the ER, and he stayed for THREE days. He was in bad shape. Then he stayed home a day and ended up in the ER again, dehydrated. The last two days they were with us we spent at home with cranky kids. Not fun.
The day we took them to their new home in Jersey was the worst day I have had in recent memory. It started like a typical day: kids running around, hungry, adults need their coffee before dealing, cartoons on for a diversion. I made a breakfast of SOS (creamed chipped beef) and home fries. We sat to eat but bugaboo was not cooperative. He cried. He screamed. He threw a tantrum. He wouldn't eat anything but toast. And then Darling started in on his issues and how "we have to do something about this" which means, "you aren't doing enough to change this situation."
I guess I felt attacked. I mean, I am completely consumed with this kid and his issues. Both kids, to be precise. I spend my days filling out paperwork, driving to therapy, going to doctor's, and once in a while a playdate. I'd like more playdates. At least I would get to talk to an adult! But, I am doing the best I can.
It was so frustrating. We were trying to force Bugaboo to eat something and I just couldn't do it. He screamed and cried. I cried. Darling looked like he was about to cry. All of this happening while my perfect two-year-old cutie of a nephew was sitting and eating and chatting away to his Momma. It was breaking my heart. I love being around him, but it was KILLING me that day.
So, After Darling and I had a small tiff about the typical autism-related stuff, I took Bugaboo up to his room and curled up in a ball on his bed while he played and read books. He kept coming over to me and kissing me (rare!) and hugging me. He clearly knew I was upset. After about an hour of me in a coma, Darling came upstairs. He and his sister had talked. She knows we are having a rough time and decided she wanted to go to her new place a day early to give us some space. I felt like a gigantic moron because I made her feel uncomfortable. But, we cleared things up, changed our plans for the day and helped her pack.
I was supposed to go to a cousin's party (sort of a family reunion, but just cousins, which is about 37 people and their kids and spouses, etc.) and see my family, leaving Bugaboo behind with Darling but taking Bug Boy to run and play with his cousins. But I could not stand to be around anyone that day. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to a HUGE family gathering (100+ it turns out) and watch everyone else's perfect three-year-olds playing, talking, hugging and kissing. I couldn't listen to my cousin's two-year-old premie giggling and saying, "Mama!" over and over. It was physically too painful. I called my sisters and they were kind enough to stretch the stomach virus excuse out so that they didn't have to tell everyone I was too depressed to be there.
After driving Darling's sister and Nephew to the shore, we decided to take advantage of the day and drive over the bridge to Ocean City. It was a GORGEOUS cool day, jackets necessary. My kind of weather! We walked on the board walk, had Pizza and fries, took the kids on a few rides. Just what we needed, some family fun! And, it was the prescription we all needed, a low-stress family outing with no real time-table, no one to call, no appointment to rush home for. We didn't even think about bedtimes or medicines or anything. We just concentrated on having fun with the kids. While Darling took Bug Boy on the go-karts and played mini-golf (not Bugaboo friendly) I walked along the boardwalk with Bugaboo pointing out the ocean, the sand, things we saw in stores. Then we all headed to the amusement rides, which Bugaboo normally doesn't enjoy. It is too loud, too busy, too much stimulation. Usually the kind of place I avoid with him. But he seemed so interested in the rides, watching them closely and smiling. Right before we left I took a chance and got tickets for the carousel. I figured if he screamed and cried at least it was cheap! So, we got on, I put him on the horse (which he previously FREAKED OUT on) and belted him in. He held on with both hands and smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen. He was ready!
The ride started, the horse pumped up and down and Bugaboo laughed and had a grand time. He only got scared toward the end of the ride and put a Vulcan death grip on my shoulder. Other than that he had a grand time! When we got off he was so relaxed he fell asleep in minutes in the car. Just what he needed. And the best part was that he ate a piece of pizza crust and tried a Curly fry. A large feat for a child who won't even eat a different brand of toast.
So, just like the roller coaster that Bug Boy was too short to ride on, life is up and down and around again. Sorry if it is a bad analogy, but you know that movie, Parenthood? That part when the grandma explains the roller coaster and its comparisons to real life? That really resonates with me now. I didn't quite get it before. But I realize now that I am here for the ride, might as well enjoy it. Except I get a teensy bit motion sick...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I love these crazy memes...
I know, they are so cliche.
But I can't help myself. I am in love with memes. I love answering questions about myself, and don't care if anyone reads it.
Ok, here we go. Read this one on Mom Nancy's blog and have to do it.
1. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy): Alice Eminem.
2. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"):Mizzle Hadizzle.
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal):Green Elephant.
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice): Martho ShaSha
5. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive):Green Sienna
This is some goofy stuff. But fun. For more fun, check out the Amazing Meganame Generator at www.blogthings.com/meganames . Here are some of my aliases from blogthings:
Movie star name: Cheese William
Fashion designer name: Marjorie Amsterdam
Socialite Name: Midge New Orleans
Fly Guy/Girl name: M Hat
Detective Name: Elephant Prendie
Barfly name: Cereal Wine
Soap Opera Name: Linda Tasker
Rock Star Name: M&M Ferrari
Star Wars Name: Marsha Hateri
Punk Rock Band Name: Elated Plunger
Don't ask me why, but I love this stuff! And, if you are really bored, apparently you can come up with your "stripper or porn star" name, by combining your pet's name with your Street name. Which makes me Shadow President.
But I can't help myself. I am in love with memes. I love answering questions about myself, and don't care if anyone reads it.
Ok, here we go. Read this one on Mom Nancy's blog and have to do it.
1. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy): Alice Eminem.
2. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"):Mizzle Hadizzle.
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal):Green Elephant.
4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice): Martho ShaSha
5. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive):Green Sienna
This is some goofy stuff. But fun. For more fun, check out the Amazing Meganame Generator at www.blogthings.com/meganames . Here are some of my aliases from blogthings:
Movie star name: Cheese William
Fashion designer name: Marjorie Amsterdam
Socialite Name: Midge New Orleans
Fly Guy/Girl name: M Hat
Detective Name: Elephant Prendie
Barfly name: Cereal Wine
Soap Opera Name: Linda Tasker
Rock Star Name: M&M Ferrari
Star Wars Name: Marsha Hateri
Punk Rock Band Name: Elated Plunger
Don't ask me why, but I love this stuff! And, if you are really bored, apparently you can come up with your "stripper or porn star" name, by combining your pet's name with your Street name. Which makes me Shadow President.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
My thirteen favorite green things that GROW!
- Daffodils...love that smell in the spring
- Roses. Love that smell, too! And so pretty, but so delicate. Don't like thorns, though
- Daisies and Susans. Reminds me of my childhood, running through them at Nana's.
- Zinnias. Same reason as #3 but at Grandmom's house.
- Spirea. A specific one, called called "Bridal-Wreath" used to grow by my house growing up. We'd collect it and make necklaces, bouquets, etc. They are difficult to locate these days, I am determined to have one at my new house!
- Peonies. Big, beautiful blooms for far-too-short a time!
- Lilacs. Ahhh...that smell....aaahhh....chooooo!!!
- Lilies. Remind me that the world is alive...with the sounds of music...just kidding! But seriously, when Lilies bloom, all is right in the world. Can't explain it. Just feel it.
- Forget-Me-Nots. I had these for one season at my former humble abode. I miss them, and will be planting them here. That color! I can't believe it exists in nature! So vibrant!
- Lily-of-the-valley: cute little blooms, yummy smell when you have the windows open.
- Hosta. At my former home I had seven varieties. Brother-in-Law calls it "lettuce" and doesn't get it, but I loved growing it!
- Raspberries and Blueberries. Picking them in the mountains was a joy when I was a child. Even more fun was eating them for breakfast! Mom made blueberry pancakes, we try to do this with the kids when we go to the family cabin.
- Copper Beech Tree. Don't ask me why, but DH loves this tree. He has to have one, and I plan on getting if for him this year, after I research it better and find out the best time to plant, optimal location in our yard, etc. I think it is romantic that he can point one out whenever we see it. And he is teaching Bug Boy the difference between Deciduous and Evergreen trees and now the different types of trees. Gotta love that!
OF course, this list is in no way complete. Even if it was "Thursday One-Hundred" It would not be complete. I love my green thumb. I miss being out there this year. It just isn't going to happen, so I settled for the consolation prize of a few flats of annuals and the meager offerings from when we first moved in. I plan on MASSIVE bed planning in the fall, followed by tons of bulbs (WOOHOO!) and in the spring I am going to TOWN!
Update: I just did a GIS to find a Spirea to put in here. What i thought was the bridal wreath, or Reeve's spirea, may be somethng else called the Vanhoutte or Arguta. My mother's spirea was a little different. As soon as I get to the bottom of it, I will let y'all know!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Very Important Scientific Experiment!
In lieu of Wordless Wednesday, I instead decided to provide you with the results of a most amazing scientific study. A science so important to women that little is ever written about it. And so, without further ado, I give you:
THE GREAT HAIR REMOVAL EXPERIMENT!
Yes, ladies, you read correctly. Even little ole blondish-reddish me has to remove unwanted hair. Even on my chin and neck, and other places that shall currently remain unidentified (ok, I'll tell you , since you are dying to know. My CHEST.). I decided to do this because the commercials on TV for women's hair removal are so blinkin' patronizing and sexist, and because the only other alternative is late-night infomercials. Since you won't read an article like this in a typical women's magazine, and because I have already done the personal research, I feel you deserve to hear it first hand!
THE GREAT HAIR REMOVAL EXPERIMENT!
Yes, ladies, you read correctly. Even little ole blondish-reddish me has to remove unwanted hair. Even on my chin and neck, and other places that shall currently remain unidentified (ok, I'll tell you , since you are dying to know. My CHEST.). I decided to do this because the commercials on TV for women's hair removal are so blinkin' patronizing and sexist, and because the only other alternative is late-night infomercials. Since you won't read an article like this in a typical women's magazine, and because I have already done the personal research, I feel you deserve to hear it first hand!
- Salon Wax - Salon waxing is perhaps the most painful thing I have ever endured, next to childbirth. There is nothing more relaxing than being led into that little massage room with the neat bed and serene music, just about drifting off to sleep while the beautician ladles warm wax on your legs and then having SEVEN LAYERS OF SKIN ripped off in an instant by five-foot-tall Typhani with a PHI. Ouch. Pros: fast, hair stays off for weeks, really. And doesn't grow back in quite as thick. Cons: Pain. Oh, and the price. I paid (last summer) $35 for legs and $15 for bikini, the underarms cost $15 too. And that place was fairly reasonable. Your typical salon costs $75 and up on average.
- Home hair removal/waxing: Ok, this is something that should never be sold over the counter for many reasons, but I will give you two. Firstly, it is a gosh-awful mess. Even if you try to be neat and clean it ends up between cracks in the tile and all over the spigot. If it is the kind that you have to warm up and stir, it is even worse. Reason the second, if it is the kind that comes on neat little "cold wax" strips, it is really only good for your eyebrows! Forget the underarms, too hard to do and too painful. Pros: Price is good! Most people can afford $5 or so for a few weeks of not having to shave. It is does work very well and very quickly on the eyebrow area. Cons: Painful to remove. Unless you are a masochist and WANT to hurt yourself, or if you have a willing participant, which makes your significant other a sadist. Oh, and then there is that little thing about the mess...
- Aussie Nads Hair Removal System: Ok, I have seen the infomercials for years and had to try it myself. This stuff seemed too good to be true. I mean, how can it possibly work that well? So when I saw it on the shelf at Tarzhay, I had to give it a go. It is expensive (to me) at $16, for something that you have to do yourself. So, last week I had the required 3-5 mm of hairgrowth, and gave it a whirl. It says you have to follow the instructions to the LETTER, which I did. And it still didn't work. It is basically gooey, smelly, slimy wax. It is made with "natural products" so it is supposedly better for your skin (thank goodness for that!). But, it was incredibly messy and sticky. And ripping it off yourself ain't no fun. See the "Cons" in #2. Pros: It is made in Australia. And who doesn't love the Down Under? Cons: Works like hair wax. That is a con to me. I hate wax.
- Cream Bleach: My sister swears by it. But she is a red-head with snow-white skin, so she doesn't have a reason to shave, since she has no body hair anyway. But for the few little strays she gets, she uses this cream bleach stuff. It is inexpensive ($5 or less) but burns the skin if you leave it on too long, or at all, really. And, it doesn't remove the hair, just bleaches it. Pros: Quick and easy, good price. Cons: doesn't remove hair, so for the average person, this will not help the unwanted hair issue!
- Veet or Nair: I used this once in summer camp as a teen and it burned the H-E-double-hockey-sticks out of my legs and bikini area. I forgot all about it until this week when I once again ventured into Tarzhay. I figured that for $4 it would be worth trying again. Besides, I am an adult now, I follow directions, right? In actuality, it worked fairly well. I started with the underarms first, then worked to the legs. The only drawback is that I no sooner started the legs and I had to remove the first bit already. And, it did miss a few very resistant hairs, so you either have to go back and touch up or get out the dreaded razor. Pros: Cheap, fast and easy. Doesn't smell that bad. Cons: tingles a bit and I had to sit on the toilet naked, feeling like and idiot, until it was time to scrape it off.
- Electric Razor: Last winter I bought myself a fairly expensive electric razor. Darling got a Braun-watchamacallit for Christmas and he LOVED it, so he let me try it and I was hooked. Problem is, I bought the ladies version and it was AWFUL. Talk about time consuming! It took more time than a traditional razor, I had to be doubly sure to go against hair growth. The knees were the worst part, nick city! And that is one of my main reasons for buying it! Pros: this particular model, the Rembrandt Ladies razor, had a hair catching system so it was little mess. It had its own little recharger, too. Cons: If you are going to go through the trouble of buying something that costs $50-$100 to shave your legs, get the male version. And don't be surprised if it totally craps out on you in 3 months, since you have 3X the square footage to shave compared to your mate. Or not, depending on how hairy he/she is.
- Manual razor: The old standby! This is what I have gone back to in between every other method. It is the cheapest and easiest, since I do it in the shower. Problem is, I only get to do it once a week, and that creeps Darling out. In the summer I am better at it, but that is when I usually resort to a more painful hair removal method. Costs anywhere from $2 up t0 $15, depending on the type of shave gel and razor you use. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT get disposable razors. And don't buy a lady razor, they are more expensive and don't remove the hair as easily. They are designed, "For more delicate skin" but we all know that women have MORE hair on their legs, and the majority of us have VERY THICK hair. Plus, the bikini and underarms. Need I say more? Pros: Easy and cheap. Can be done fairly quickly in the shower with little time. Cons: Nicks. They hurt, and bleed. And the worst ones are on the back of your knee. OUCH!
- Epilady: Yes! I did buy this and try it! And, it worked VERY well! But I have to tell you, it is NOT worth the pain involved. Epilady works like this: There are these little rotating coils that act like tens of pairs of tweezers simultaneously ripping/plucking the hair out. Once again, 3-5 mm hair growth is necessary. And it does grow back in much finer. Because you have killed the top few layers of skin and hair in the first place. It huuuurrtttsss. And my legs were left covered in teeny, painful, red bumps. Ouchy. Price was about $30 two years ago. They may have "improved" it with technology, but I do not recommend. Pros: Fast, minimal hair regrowth. Cons: Can't use on bikini (The pain!) or underarms (skin gets caught!).
- Laser and electrolysis: I have never undergone these methods, that is my disclaimer. But, I have read about them. From what my dermatologist says, after a few treatments you barely have ANY hair growing back. But it is really for problem areas, whole legs would be expensive and would require many trips to the esthetician. Can't do underarms, apparently it stops you ability to sweat under there. So, bikini is ok, maybe the funky hair you get on your cheek like Aunt Carol (am I the only one that gets these?). But not whole legs. Pros: Total hair removal, rarely grows back! More permanent solution. Cons: Very pricey. Can range from several hundred to several thousand dollars PER session, depending on who you see and what you have done.
I know there may be a few of you who have seen other methods and tried other things, please feel free to let me know, and I will add them in. Of course, there is one method that I didn't post that is teh most obvious: Don't shave. Depending on how picky your mate is (mine is tolerant for a few days, but I honestly wouldn't shave if it weren't for him) you can just call a moratorium on hair removal. That might be a good way to get your kitchen painted, for example. It is all about negotiations, I mean, compromise, right?
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
On the mend
I have a time constraint to feel better!
You see, Bugaboo started out in the wee hours of Saturday vomiting. He was lethargic, cranky and sick. Since he started the puking just as we were leaving to take Darling to the airport, I ended up having to call my Mother-in-law to come and take him. Which sucked, since I really wanted to see him off. It sounds childish, but I feel he is safer if I, the control freak, can see him off.
So, for the entire day Saturday Bugaboo vomited. He'd start to act better, run around, steal toothbrushes, download stuff on the computer. Then he'd climb up on my lap, put his head on my shoulder and upchuck all down my back and in my hair. For someone who HATES having their hair touched by anyone (hairdresser included) you can imagine this was difficult for me! ACK!
Luckily Bug Boy spent the night at my sister's. Sunday we were due to go to a BBQ at her house, and since Bugaboo wasn't vomiting anymore, we went. He pretty much kept to himself in her finished basement or watching her big-screen tv. He LOVES big tvs! So, we got ready to go after dinner, got on the highway near her house, made it off the entrance ramp, and he started vomiting. Projectile. Like, all over the car. And Bug Boy said, "You know mom? I really don't like that smell!" Uh, Me NEITHER!!!
So, got off at the next exit, one mile up, turned around and went back to my sisters. Dropped Bug Boy off again. Took Bugaboo straight to the children's hospital one mile from my sister's, where we spend the better part of each week seeing specialists for one or both of my boys. I took him straight to the ER, explained the situation, they took us back and ended up giving him an IV. Now, this is a child who does not like to be touch, even by his parents. So you can imagine the horror of the next few hours, between temp and vital checks and an IV insertion! He literally cried, no, SCREAMED for the next two hours, during which I had to restrain him to keep him from ripping the IV out. Even though they had him well wrapped. He started chewing off the bandages and "No-No" arm guard!
When he finally drifted off into an exhausted sleep, I sat there with a glazed over expression, cursing the day I told my Darling to go help his sister move back to the East Coast from Orange County California. My sisters and Mother-in-Law offered to help, but it just isn't the same. I wanted Darling there so I could cry and be worried. Now I had to put on a brave face and make all of these decisions myself!
We were released after several IV Boluses and a few hours. At that point I was beyond exhaustion. The next morning (Monday) I had stomach cramps upon awakening, but thought nothing of it. I thought the lightheaded feeling was due to the lack of sleep. Boy, was I ever WRONG! Within the hour I was rushing to the toilet every five minutes. Everything was going through me. And I still had a very sick Bugaboo!
When my sister brought Bug Boy back , she stayed until Mother-in-law could come. MIL stayed for seven hours. I am so worried she will get sick! But I needed the help, and she offered. I just know that when she gets it, she gets it BAD.
My biggest concern, besides Bugaboo restoring his fluid and food intake, is that my Sister-in-law, her two-year-old and my Darling will be back tomorrow. I don't want them walking into the house of lower-intestinal death. I am hoping to feel better ASAP so I can Lysol the whole house ! THIS REALLY SUCKS!
You see, Bugaboo started out in the wee hours of Saturday vomiting. He was lethargic, cranky and sick. Since he started the puking just as we were leaving to take Darling to the airport, I ended up having to call my Mother-in-law to come and take him. Which sucked, since I really wanted to see him off. It sounds childish, but I feel he is safer if I, the control freak, can see him off.
So, for the entire day Saturday Bugaboo vomited. He'd start to act better, run around, steal toothbrushes, download stuff on the computer. Then he'd climb up on my lap, put his head on my shoulder and upchuck all down my back and in my hair. For someone who HATES having their hair touched by anyone (hairdresser included) you can imagine this was difficult for me! ACK!
Luckily Bug Boy spent the night at my sister's. Sunday we were due to go to a BBQ at her house, and since Bugaboo wasn't vomiting anymore, we went. He pretty much kept to himself in her finished basement or watching her big-screen tv. He LOVES big tvs! So, we got ready to go after dinner, got on the highway near her house, made it off the entrance ramp, and he started vomiting. Projectile. Like, all over the car. And Bug Boy said, "You know mom? I really don't like that smell!" Uh, Me NEITHER!!!
So, got off at the next exit, one mile up, turned around and went back to my sisters. Dropped Bug Boy off again. Took Bugaboo straight to the children's hospital one mile from my sister's, where we spend the better part of each week seeing specialists for one or both of my boys. I took him straight to the ER, explained the situation, they took us back and ended up giving him an IV. Now, this is a child who does not like to be touch, even by his parents. So you can imagine the horror of the next few hours, between temp and vital checks and an IV insertion! He literally cried, no, SCREAMED for the next two hours, during which I had to restrain him to keep him from ripping the IV out. Even though they had him well wrapped. He started chewing off the bandages and "No-No" arm guard!
When he finally drifted off into an exhausted sleep, I sat there with a glazed over expression, cursing the day I told my Darling to go help his sister move back to the East Coast from Orange County California. My sisters and Mother-in-Law offered to help, but it just isn't the same. I wanted Darling there so I could cry and be worried. Now I had to put on a brave face and make all of these decisions myself!
We were released after several IV Boluses and a few hours. At that point I was beyond exhaustion. The next morning (Monday) I had stomach cramps upon awakening, but thought nothing of it. I thought the lightheaded feeling was due to the lack of sleep. Boy, was I ever WRONG! Within the hour I was rushing to the toilet every five minutes. Everything was going through me. And I still had a very sick Bugaboo!
When my sister brought Bug Boy back , she stayed until Mother-in-law could come. MIL stayed for seven hours. I am so worried she will get sick! But I needed the help, and she offered. I just know that when she gets it, she gets it BAD.
My biggest concern, besides Bugaboo restoring his fluid and food intake, is that my Sister-in-law, her two-year-old and my Darling will be back tomorrow. I don't want them walking into the house of lower-intestinal death. I am hoping to feel better ASAP so I can Lysol the whole house ! THIS REALLY SUCKS!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Friday's Feast 95
Appetizer
How old were you when you got your first credit card?
I was eighteen, got my first real job at Pier One Imports. The Manager of the store said he could get me a card, and my whopping limit was $200!
Soup
When was the last time you felt out of place?
I felt out of place in high school. That was probably the last time.
Salad
Did you have a curfew when you were a teenager?
If so, what time did you have to be home?
I had a curfew of 8 pm pm school nights, unless there was a school function. The curfew was 11pm on weekends. When I was 16 I had a curfew of 9 on school nights, 12 on weekends. If I was ONE MINUTE LATE I was grounded!
Main Course
Name a person from history with whom you feel you have something in common.
I have always identified with Zelda Fitzgerald, you know, the bi-polar wife of F. Scott? Don't ask me why. I share a birthday with Hilary Clinton.
Dessert
When you read a newspaper, which section do you go for first?
I dont' read the paper. But when I used to buy a paper, the only reason I bought it was for the Crossword Puzzles. I am a crossword fanatic. LOVE to do crosswords.
I dont' read the paper. But when I used to buy a paper, the only reason I bought it was for the Crossword Puzzles. I am a crossword fanatic. LOVE to do crosswords.
In the past I used to read the obits first. Sometimes if I check the online local newspapers, I head there first. Kinda Morbid, eh?
GROSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Ok, don't mean to gross you out, but...
HOLY STINKIN' POOP, BATMAN!!!
I could just scream. It is pretty clear that my dog has issues. She has gotten into the trash several times over the past few months to get at her favorite foods (watermelon and chicken) and in the process, usually finds a dirty diaper. A really, really, REALLY dirty diaper! Bugaboo has major stomach issues, so you know it isn't pretty. And it STINKS. Not just your usual poop stink, either. We are talking nasty stuff.
Sorry if it is TMI!
Anywho, this morning I was making progress getting the house in order. Darling's sister comes in five days to stay with us for two weeks while their stuff is being moved across country. Since there has been so much going on, I have fallen behind in house work. This morning I was doing a GREAT job catching up. I put the trash out, went upstairs to wake Bugaboo up (he cannot sleep past 8 or else!) and went back down to take the trash bag down to the garage. It was too late. In the two minutes it took me to get Bugaboo out of bed, Shadow has already ripped open the bag, dragged out TWO dirty diapers, and completely chewed them up.
If you have a weak stomach, I apologize.
I am so blinkin' angry right now. I should NOT have put that bag on the porch without taking it to the garage, but I didn't know she was outside. I should have just carried it to the trash cans. But NOOOOO, the neighbors might see me in my nightgown! Bugaboo cannot sleep until 8:01! I have to have one more sip of tea! Excuses, excuses. It is my own stupid fault.
So, I just finished scrubbing my deck with soap, boiling water and an old scrub brush kept specifically for a nasty job. That it was!
HOLY STINKIN' POOP, BATMAN!!!
I could just scream. It is pretty clear that my dog has issues. She has gotten into the trash several times over the past few months to get at her favorite foods (watermelon and chicken) and in the process, usually finds a dirty diaper. A really, really, REALLY dirty diaper! Bugaboo has major stomach issues, so you know it isn't pretty. And it STINKS. Not just your usual poop stink, either. We are talking nasty stuff.
Sorry if it is TMI!
Anywho, this morning I was making progress getting the house in order. Darling's sister comes in five days to stay with us for two weeks while their stuff is being moved across country. Since there has been so much going on, I have fallen behind in house work. This morning I was doing a GREAT job catching up. I put the trash out, went upstairs to wake Bugaboo up (he cannot sleep past 8 or else!) and went back down to take the trash bag down to the garage. It was too late. In the two minutes it took me to get Bugaboo out of bed, Shadow has already ripped open the bag, dragged out TWO dirty diapers, and completely chewed them up.
If you have a weak stomach, I apologize.
I am so blinkin' angry right now. I should NOT have put that bag on the porch without taking it to the garage, but I didn't know she was outside. I should have just carried it to the trash cans. But NOOOOO, the neighbors might see me in my nightgown! Bugaboo cannot sleep until 8:01! I have to have one more sip of tea! Excuses, excuses. It is my own stupid fault.
So, I just finished scrubbing my deck with soap, boiling water and an old scrub brush kept specifically for a nasty job. That it was!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
1. He is a planner.
2. He is very responsible with Money.
3. While he is VERY quiet (unlike me) he also is very introspective and a deep thinker (also unlike me).
4. He is very laid back, takes alot to get his ire going.
5. Is a wonderful, patient father to his two special-needs boys.
6. Treats me like an individual with a brain, not a woman who needs to be "taken care of."
7. Always knows what to do when I need it most without me having to say it!
8. Will come home and take over at the drop of a hat when I call him crying and overwhelmed.
9. Can "read my mind" when we are out driving around and comments, "No, we aren't going to go get milk shakes!"
10. Keeps my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds, most of the time.
11. Even though he doesn't understand music, he appreciates and tolerates the piano playing, singing, flute, sheet music piles, etc.
12. He works very hard so that I can stay home with the kids and take care of them! I love being a SAHM!
13. He loves me unconditionally for who I am, doesn't expect me to change, and puts up with all of my quirks and idiosyncrasies.
Sounds like a heck of a guy, huh? No, you can't have him.
Not yours!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
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