Warning: A whole Lotta TMI in this post!
Last night we managed to get Bugaboo in bed around eleven. He gave us a difficult time going to sleep, but at least he did not scream and cry all evening. I think we both would have broken down in tears at that point!
Darling dozed off on the couch while I was attempting to get my evening routines done. I gave up after a few minutes and left the dishes and lunches for morning (which I now regret, but I just couldn't go another thing last night!) and sat down to check e-mail and surf for a few mins. I needed to clear my head. Then I chased us both to bed. After I crawled into bed, however, we both kinda decided that we weren't going to bed right away, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Yep, wild and crazy stuff went on. And that's all I am going to say about THAT.
(Except that it was really awesome and hasn't happened in several weeks because of the heck that has broken loose around here.)
I think part of the reason that I actually WANTED to be with my husband is that I felt so much relief after Bugaboo went to bed. I mean, it is technically that part of my cycle that I'd want to (you know, ovulation, if I actually ovulate these days, I do not know). But I think the other part is that since I decided to quit taking an oral contraceptive (WHAT??? Good Catholic Girl taking the pill???) my mood and libido has been much better.
I started taking it after I weaned Ian because I was having horrible cycles. Heavy, awful, inconsistent, painful periods. It was dreadful. Here I was anemic to begin with and the days that I had my period I was unable to crawl out of bed. I hurt so badly. And for a girl who has a pretty high tolerance for pain, that is saying something. After repeated trips to my OB/GYN and several tests, they decided I was in perimenopause. At the ripe old age of thirty-two! Now, it doesn't matter a hill of beans because people can be in perimenopause for years before the real thing comes. My cycle has never been normal, it has always been kinda all over the place. Short period, looooong fertile mucus period (like, 9 or ten days, depending) and then it would all happen again in twenty days, thirty days, twenty-eight days, who knew?
I finally asked my OB/GYN (a DO, not likely to offer me meds unless I beg for them) if there was ANYTHING that I could do to straighten it out. I was desperate because it was really interfering with things. I was tired of bleeding pints of blood all in one day only to have it be gone the next day. I felt like crap, was having major hormonal swings and was depressed often. I was seeing a psychologist and she told me to get a medical workup to be sure. They found out I was anemic, still (big surprise there). Then the OB finally said, "Well, as a last resort, you could try a low-estrogen pill. It may straighten things out. Or not. It is up to you." I talked it over with Darling, who basically left it up to me. He wasn't crazy about me taking it but knew it might bring me some relief. So I started it eighteen months ago.
The first few months were glorious. I had a four-week cycle. I had three days of a period. It didn't hurt. I didn't feel like I was hemorrhaging all the time. I felt normal. Darling commented it was like I was pregnant again, but I didn't gain as much weight (one of the unfortunate side effects of the pill). My hemoglobin started creeping up closer to normal. No more clotting.
Then I started having spotting in between cycles. No biggy! A little spotting doesn't hurt much. Then I started having spotting for a week or more. Then I started having the spotting and no period to speak of. Then I starting spotting for a month at a time, never getting an actual period. I went back to the OB, the checked things out, I was physically ok. She gave me the option of discontinuing the pill or switching to another one with low estrogen. I picked the new pill.
That was in October. I have had no periods since then and I am not pregnant. I finally stopped the pill last week because I was spotting for an entire month and never got a period. Darling was freaking out so I had to take about thirty pregnancy tests to assure him that we were not expecting in December (one of our lucky months!). I am still waiting to see what happens this month.
Back to the drawing board! I am now going to attempt NFP again, it sorta worked before. I may take a refresher class. The most difficult time I have with NFP is that since my cycle is so irregular it is very difficult to figure out just when I ovulate. Ovulation predictors do not work, they tell me I am never ovulating. I obviously did ovulate twice!
I will NEVER take an oral contraceptive again. I've learned my lesson on that one. I think for now one we will just keep doing what we've done all along. Or perhaps I can convince Darling to head to the urologist (pigs have a more likely chance of flying today!).
I just realized, tomorrow is March. Just to be safe, Darling is sleeping on the couch for the ENTIRE MONTH!!!! HA!