Monday, July 18, 2005

Moving right along...

Ten days. Well, less than. In 10 days we will be the proud new owners of an 18 year-old single in the next town over, in the most sought-after school district in our county. Lucky us! We get to pay the taxes! But in the long run, it will be worth it. Our boys have some significant educational needs, and they need to be in the best place possible.

We have boxes stacked to our eyeballs. We are well-organized. In between the settlement and the actual movers, we have 10 days to paint, move boxes, possibly get a fence installed and clean our charming 90 year-old twin up for the next owner. We have so many good memories here, our boys called this their first home. We put so much sweat equity into it! I mean, we gutted every room! We painted or replaced just about everything! Our neighbors are wonderful and we can walk to the library, church, school, etc. But the house was nickle-and-diming us to death. Old and charming is mucho dinero. Every house needs work. But not this much work. Besides, I can't take another minute of hearing other people through the walls and waking up the the stench of stale cigarette smoke. We don't smoke. It comes through the walls.

We are in good shape, packing-wise. Not much more to do. Just have to get it all in a truck and over there. My brothers are going to help move the outdoor toys, tools, etc. I just wish I could bring my garden. In 8 years it has never looked so good! I FINALLY got it the way I want it. Oh well, new beginnings.

Forecast: slightly moody, exhaustion on the horizon.

More than once a month!

I have been thinking of blogging more often, but the truth is, I am up to my eyeballs in boxes at the moment! I love the idea of sitting down and making an online diary of sorts, something to empty my jumbled brain into. I need an outlet for all that we are dealing with right now!

Currently, we are dealing with moving to a new house (although only a few blocks away) and the possibility of having not one, but two children with two different types of Autism. Bugaboo has had some major developmental delays since he was about 15 mos. At least, that is when we finally accepted that there is something not quite the way it should be. Bugaboo is bright, happy and laid-back. But he just won't talk. Now that he is 2.5, he still barely says a peep, doesn't answer to his name, and can't point to his nose if you ask him. Heck, he can't point to his body if you ask him. He can open doors and windows (we now keep them locked), throw balls, jump on the couch, splash in the water, eat tons of food, smile, sleep(once in a while) and sometimes plays with toys. All this after 10 months of intense therapy. I go to bed every night and pray, pray, PRAY for God to help us. But then I remember something a nun told me in 7th grade. God is answering my prayers, but the answer isn't always yes. For some reason, I am beginning to believe that we were chosen to raise Bugaboo, because he needed someone special to be his parents. He is here to change our lives. But it doesn't make it easy. He most likely has PDD-NOS. Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. Autism.

I cannot recall how many times I have left the library, grocery store, playground, etc, in tears, because kids that i have seen there for the past two years are reciting the Gettysburg address, and I am lucky to get a babble or coo. He seems so normal, but when people talk to him, they usually figure it out right away and ask stupid questions (like, "what is wrong with him?"). Then there are the well meaning people who say things like "He's a boy." "He's just taking his time."
"My brother didn't talk until 4 and he's a nuclear physicist." "He'll talk when he's ready." While all of these are true, and intended ( I am sure) to ease the pain of the mother, they are like little knives stabbing me in the chest. I KNOW there is something not quite right. I hate to sound negative, I am usually cheerfully optimistic. But when you are a parent, you just KNOW these things. I can't explain it. I am tired of people writing me off like I am nuts, or wrong. Or both.

Don't get me wrong. I WANT to be wrong. But I know I am right. And then there is older child, Bug Boy. He has been having meltdowns all summer. He doesn't get services over the summer since he isn't severe enough to qualify for ESY, but it is severe enough around here to cause upheaval. His lack of social skills, his social anxiety, lack of eye contact, talking 'at us' instead of 'to us' are all huge, flashing red flags. He doesn't seem to get body language, tone of voice, facial expressions. He cannot tell when someone is angry, sad, hurt. He thinks it is funny! He is exceptionally bright. He knows things that we cannot figure out where he learned them. He can read at 4 yrs! But there is a huge chance he has Aspergers's syndrome or PDD. Autism.

How were we so lucky? If you look at anything that my boys have difficulty with, you can point to both Darling and I and say it is the same. We don't like tags in our clothes. Darling doesn't like certain textures. I don't like smells and loud noise. I get tons of ear infections. Darling talked late. I talk at people. We were both very bright in school but had poor social skills. Studies are now linking Autism to the Y chromosome. But then why would my sister also have a boy with Autisim? I am also convinced another sister has a boy with it, too. Too many similarities. That brings us back to the environmental issues. Are some kids genetically prone to it and get exposed, thus causing it? Are they born with it? The boys all have big heads, is that the cause? They are all allergic to or have problems with wheat/gluten and dairy/casein. Could that be the culprit? Or is the chronic ear infections, auditory processing disorders, causing the difficulties? Stay tuned for more.

Ok, looks like this one has turned into a Tome...

Today's forecast: Partly Cloudy, slightly cheerful, low irritability.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Can you believe I am doing this?

I always said I'd try this Blog thing. After reading so many from my friends, I decided to give it a try!
We call our boys Baby Bugs because my niece and nephews call Dh "Uncle Bug." It is really difficult for a 2-year-old to say "Uncle Isaac!" When we had our boys, the Baby Bug thing kinda fit. Although our Four-year-old now insists he is "Bug Boy," because he is "Not a baby!" And our younger son is now called Bugaboo.

I am keeping this Blog because sometimes I just feel the need to get my feelings out there, and who the heck keeps a diary these days? Hence, the blog. So much has been happening these days. But I digress. I will fill in all of the details later. I'll start from the very beginning, a very good place to start...HAHAHA! Sorry, I come from a long line of movie buffs, I'll be throwing those in there from time to time.

Todays feelings Forecast: Frazzled with a 70% chance of meltdowns.