Sunday, July 30, 2006


I had a very long post to put here. Spent about an hour on it, wrote and rewrote. Talked about Bugaboo and his medical probs and his procedure Tuesday. Then Blogger ate it. WAAAHHHH!!!!

SO, when I have the patience, I will try it again. In the meantime, go have a cookie.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Where the &@#* have you been?

I know, I haven't' been keeping up. There are good reasons.

The boys (and Darling, and the dog) are running me ragged and my brain has turned to mush.

Most days instead of concentrating on getting on the computer, getting my housework done, taking a shower, etc, I am camping out on the couch, going back to bed, and struggling through errands. I am just unmotivated, exhausted and drained. I took a look at my diet, it is in decent shape, minus the three milkshakes I had last week.

I have been hitting the gym two days a week, wish it were more, but I am at least doing that. And the other day, I got a heckuva workout racing my niece across the pool (she swam, I just did arms, and she still beat me!).

I think what is going on is the midsummer night's slump. I hit this point every summer. Once Fourth-of-July runs around, I am done. I want it to be fall, cooler temps, jacket weather. I cannot stand the heat. And, this is coming from the girl who used to HATE air conditioning, and slept in a room with a fan when Darling used to go into the middle bedroom and sleep with a window AC, before our central air was installed in the old house.

I need leaves falling off of the trees, the smell of damp and decaying foliage. I need cool breezes and chilly nights, and daylight savings time. I need my anniversary (hubba hubba!) and our birthdays, football (yes, I said football, am I crazy for saying that?) and hockey. The time of year when we spend every waking moment outside, and start looking for good sales on ski stuff. We are soooo going this year!

So, I only have about two months to go. Who knew Seasonal Affective Disorder could hit in the summer?

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Our fifth visit to the ER

Since Memorial Day I have been to the ER five times with three different children. It is the same Emergency Room that we visit each time, duPont. They really do deliver excellent care and we see several specialists there for the boys' various needs.

This visit was much shorter than the others, thank goodness. We visited our favorite Home Improvement Store (begins with an 'L') and while I was in the restroom, Bug Boy decided to push Bugaboo's stroller. He whirled it around in circles, and just as I finished washing and drying my hands, I heard a sickening thud. Upon rushing out of the restroom, Bugaboo was winding up for a howl that could be heard in seven states. He had tipped forward and smacked his forehead on the concrete floor!

The staff was very accommodating and got us ice and helped us check him out. He seemed ok, but then 15 mins later he was groggy and fell asleep. It was his normal bedtime, but we wanted to make sure he was ok, so we went straight to the ER five minutes away. Lucky for us it was a slow night.

So, after four hours of observation Bugaboo was released and we went him, with a big ole knot on his head. The swelling has gone down considerably. We have to keep our eyes on him for a day or two, since this is his second (minor) concussion.

Egads! Not the way we expected to spend our day, but it could have been much worse. It is unbelievable how resilient children are, and how fragile at the same time.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thursday Thirteen

Things I want to get done around the house!
  1. Clean up around the yard - many miscellaneous things just hanging around that need to be put away or decluttered.
  2. Cut back bushes that have taken over the yard
  3. trim back the rose bush that has gone to town on the side of the yard
  4. Hack the ugly bushes in front of the porch and get rid of 'em!
  5. Pull out mulch, put dirt in flower beds and re-mulch with brown instead of red (next year, methinks)
  6. Paint front door and shutters
  7. Take down makeshift railing from previous owners and replace with a nicer one
  8. Create new flower beds near corner of yard in front (around street sign), on kitchen side of house when you first walk into yard (outside of picture window, so I can watch the birds and butterflies) and on deck side of rear yard in corner where Lake Erie begins to form (to minimize the yard flooding)
  9. Get rid of rock pile on side of house from when part of retaining wall was removed. Talk to the neighbor who wants the rocks and ask him to get them!
  10. Remove small tree in side yard that is NOT doing well and is not growing. Is diseased and a type of tree we don't want in back yard.
  11. Plant another tree on "old pool" side of backyard, away from sewer line (we'd like a copper beech or Sugar Maple, like our old house)
  12. Call and get mulch prices and have them deliver play mulch for around swingset so that the sand stops getting tracked into the house!!!
  13. Start harassing DH about deck plans, we have to rip down our structurally unsafe deck and want to replace it with a two-level deck, with the steps coming down towards the garage instead of the street. We have to call Uncle Pete in on this one!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Conversations with Bug Boy

Or, more accurately, listening to Bug Boy's one sided conversation!

Here is an excerpt from this morning:

Mommy: What do you want for breakfast, Bug Boy?

Bug Boy: I think I'd like a cheese bagel. I had a cheese bagel yesterday. Yesterday was Tuesday. And you know what today is? Wednesday. Yup, yesterday was Tuesday and the day before that was Monday. I was sick on Monday and Tuesday, but I am not sick today because it is Wednesday. I am going to camp today. I did not go to camp yesterday or Monday. Yup, I was sick and went to the doctor on Monday. And yesterday was Tuesday so I stayed home. Daddy stayed home yesterday. Daddy stays home on Saturdays and Sundays. Yesterday was NOT Saturday or Sunday. It was Tuesday. And Daddy stayed home. Today is Wednesday and I am going to camp and tomorrow is Thursday and then comes Friday. We go swimming at camp on Fridays and Mondays. But on Monday I stayed home and did not go to camp and did NOT swim. But I went to the doctor's...

Mommy: Uh huh...

Yes. He is feeling better. We know when he talks for 4 hours without a breath or a word in edge-wise that he is feeling better...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

When Darling is home sick

Ok. If you called out sick from work and felt like total C-R-A-P would you still call in to attend meetings? I mean, dial in, sit and listen to droning voices for hours, all the while using the phone so no one can call us and hogging the computer?

If he is really sick, then he shouldn't be working from home. Take the sick day, get charged for it, and DON'T pick up the phone or turn on that computer!!! Just my two cents.

The other thing that bothers me (since I am on a roll and all) is that I feel like I can't operate at my normal speed because he kinda hovers and makes comments. Like, you have 5 hours a day, why can't you get X/Y/Z done? You have been sitting down for 15 mins, why don't you go do______ (insert insane request here). Like I can't read e-mail! Or take a shower! Or heaven forbid I watch tv while I fold clothes (which I can't do, since he is using the bed as our office at the moment). But, I showed him! I still cleaned the bathrooms! So PBLTT!!!!

Got that out of my system. Feel much better. I think tomorrow I am going to call the boss and call out sick. HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! They wouldn't know what to do!!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Purse update

I went back to Goodwill today. Someone decided to clean up the area where all of the purses were previously in a big heap. No L.E.I purse. But I did get two cute lightweight skirts (cotton!) for summer, and two tank tops. Still can't find a decent white one. I tried every store in PA.

I am going to order the LL Bean purse after lunch. I know, it is expensive. But I am worth it. And, Darling almost bought me the Fossil purse this weekend, and it cost more than the LL Bean Purse! So THERE!!!

Bug Boy's Tummy trouble

What started out as a fun weekend at his cousin's house became a very long night for Bug Boy. He slept over Dino Boy's house, went to the pool and had a marvelous time. But he had two accidents. You know, the trots? The skids? Do I have to spell it out for you? Ok, D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A. We thought perhaps it was from the ice cream he had the night before. This has happened before, and it is why he is now on a non-dairy diet.

He steadily progressed into full sick mode shortly after we picked him up and brought him home. He was miserable and tired and we thought nothing of it until the THIRD accident two hours after we arrived home. Then he started running a fever. He is not happy about it but I insisted he wear a pull-up. I am not cleaning up all of that underwear. And he wears boxers, so it would be even worse! He is five-years-old and not happy about it.

Since Bug Boy is guzzling fluids I know he is staying hydrated. He has a history of getting dehydrated very quickly and is super-sensitive to heat and cold extremes. And I don't mean he gets too hot. I mean he can get dehydrated in about two minutes. His little temperature system is terribly immature, and the doc is hoping he will grow out of it. I don't want to end up at the ER later, so Bug Boy is staying in today, whether he likes it or not. And the worst part is that he is missing swimming and riding therapy today! He is NOT a happy camper, literally!

Ok, the prince has beckoned. Time to wait on him hand and foot for the remainder of the day.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

In search of the perfect purse

I have a purse problem. That is, I don't want to buy one. I have never been one to carry purses. I used a backpack in high school and college, and even when I worked I used a large messenger bag or backpack that held my lunch, books, keys, hairbrush, wallet and the like. It really wasn't a purse. If I had a purse it was more like a wallet on a string, teeny and light. And I forgot it or left it everywhere.

Flash forward a few years. Pregnancy happened, diaper bag/backpack (yes, I bought a baby backpack instead!) and then pregnancy happened again, this time Sis bought me the super-mega-hawesome L.L Bean Baby Backpack, room enough for stuff for two kids (and any incidentals, like my latest wallet on a string).

The kids were getting a little older and I was getting tired of carrying the diaper bag out on rare dates with my Darling or to the ladies room by myself. I felt like every woman in there was staring at me thinking I had rather large sanitary supplies in a bag that big. Or they were thinking, "Poor dear! She must have six kids with a diaper bag that big!"

Then the kids started school. Since I send Bugaboo to school with his own backpack it was no longer necessary for me to carry that large bag anymore. But the purse on a string didn't hold my keys, cell phone and any incidentals (like a small water bottle) and if I wanted to run out with the kids it didn't hold a diaper. I got outhouse lucky at Goodwill twice! Once I bought a cute black purse, kinda mini-messenger style, for $3. It lasted 6 months until I tore a hole in it. Then I found the most HAWESOME still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one for yet another $3 at Goodwill. It rocked! It fit a diaper or two, my now-extremely-necessary pocket calendar (for all of those appts for the boys) and a hairbrush and a travel pack of baby wipes. Life doesn't get better than that, folks!

Alas, a few weeks ago my "business bag" (as my sister jokes, since I tell her I refuse to carry a purse) got caught in the door after only a few months. The cell phone holder and change purse ripped. ACK!!!!

I am now on the hunt for a replacement. I basically want to find the exact same bag, and it does not exist. After scouring two Goodwill stores, every discount department store and even Tarzhay to no avail, I am beginning to lose faith that I will find a suitable replacement. I have rather strict criteria; no leather under any circumstance, must have a built-in wallet with little credit card holders and a change purse, cannot be bigger than the still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one (or SMMBBLTTFO for those of you into abbreviations), must still be able to hold a diaper and wipes and has to wipe clean for the simple reason that I have two boys. 'Nuff said.

I have found at least forty versions of it in leather. My favorite is called the Rosetti organizer. It is one awesome purse. I have done online searches for it in a-material-other-than-vinyl but no such luck. I have found the perfect replacement at Goodwill, except for the fact that there was no strap on the bag, and thus no way to actually carry it. I have found the bag in a-material-other-than-leather in several stores, but adorned with rather garish fake jewels and beads or in camouflage. EWWWW!!!!!

But the best had to be this evening. I found the bag. I found twenty versions of the bag. In Strawbridges in Delaware, which meant NO TAX. Then I saw the price tags. HAHAHAHAHHA! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that tag said $65! Oh, it did? Uh....HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a good laugh. But even funnier was when I noticed the pretty little purses in the glass with D&B all over them and the ones with the interlocking Cs and then the ones chained to the purse stand...those all had price tags of $200 and up. And people REALLY pay that much for a purse? Egads. I am so out of style it ain't funny.

So, for the time being we are dealing with the ripped purse. It isn't noticeable to the untrained eye. And when I find a cheap replacement I will grab it.Hopefully at Goodwill. I really don't want to carry a purse...I mean, a business bag!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Updates, or, Why I haven't been keeping up with blogging

Life as of late has been like a whirling dervish. Up and down, round and round, can't tell if I am coming or going. And the weird thing is that the boys are in camp and I thought I'd have tons of time to do things, like sand drywall and paint. HA! As if! So this is what is keeping me busy:

Bugaboo's medical procedures. Got the results today: He has Esophagitis. Basically he has reflux, brought about by food allergies, which causes swelling of his esophagus. And it also causes stomach pain, diarrhea, mouth sores, heart burn, you name it. No wonder he doesn't want to eat! The poor kid is in miserable pain and his throat hurts all of the time. He also has tested positive for a wheat allergies. It isn't terrible severe, but it must be treated or else the stomach and bowel problems shall persist. I am relieved to get to the bottom of this FINALLY!!!

My visit with the Neurologist. We are trying to rule out a few conditions, namely; Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Over-worked-and-Stressed-Out-Mommy-Syndrome. With a family history of MS, FMS and CFS, the doc is being very thorough. I had a brain MRI with and without contrast. Now I have to follow up with a cervicle and thoracic MRI, with and without contrast. Since my last MRI was such a joyous event (N.O.T!) I am looking forward to it like a trip to Tar-zhay. At least I get another 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to recline.

Housework and errands. I have been trying to keep up with just daily routines, but important phone calls and appointments have left me a teensy bit behind. With out-of-town guests due to arrive for two days, I want to at least make sure the sheets and towels are clean and that no one will be tempted to write their name in the dust on the television.

Therapy for the boys. Just today we had Bugaboo's TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) start, the boys' Behavior Specialist was here and Bug Boy's Mobile Therapist came for his weekly visit. And this was after Bugaboo had school and camp, and Bug Boy went to camp. So it was a loooonnnggg busy day for both of them! No problems falling asleep tonight!

Sleep. Just kidding! Thought I'd throw that in there to see if y'all are paying attention! I haven't been getting much sleep due to Bugaboo's recent Night Terrors.

Migraines. See the visit to the Neuro above.

Everyday mundane tasks. You know, eating, breathing, showering. Since time is at a premium, I am being selective about how I spend my, ahem, leisure time. I have been trying to hit the Y in order to keep the body in shape. Weights are important for the above-mentioned conditions. And, I have developed a new obsession with the computer (like I need the computer to be MORE of a distraction!): Adobe Photoshop. Too much fun, and I am staying up past my bedtime.

Ok. My fifteen minutes are fare from over. If you don't know what I am talking about, click HERE.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

What is the world coming to?

I have to stop reading the news, especially when Aunt Flo is here for a visit!

I have been doing quite a bit of research as of late in order to educate myself upon making proper choices for our children. DH is more of a "read it and then give me a summary" kind of person, so it really does fall on me, although he does tend to talk to people at work with children with disabilities, and I appreciate that. So, as I have been reading books, websites and the like, I came across two articles recently that disturbed me to no end!

The first was about a little girl with Down's syndrome. One-year-old, mostly healthy (just the typical stuff) and sweet, judging from her picture. It seems her house burned down with her in it. The parents and older children got out, so did the family dog. The family vehicle was even moved from the driveway and the cell phone was grabbed off of the kitchen counter. But not the little girl from her crib. I haven't gotten many more details, but it smells fishy. And it turns my stomach. I pray for her and her family. I just really hope it was an accident!

The second one was about a family with an autistic three-year old girl named Katie McCarron. Same age as Bugaboo, give or take a few weeks. The husband has been living in another state for nearly two years with her and his parents (as caretakers) so that he may send her to the best possible school. They just moved back and reunited the mother and other child three months ago. And a week later, the mother, out of supposed frustration, took a ride with her daughter to get her to fall asleep (been there, done that!) and took her to the grandma's house, put a bag over her head, suffocated her, brought her back to the house and put her to bed, telling everyone that she fell asleep! And the worst part is, the police believed her until the next day when she OD'd on aspirin (took like, six pills) and barely slit her wrists, as she confessed to her husband.

The worst part is that people online are giving these parents nothing but sympathy. "they are under so much stress!" "They were in so much pain!"

GIMMEE A BREAK!!!! This makes me so angry! So, in other words, they are going to get away with it because their kid has a disability and so therefore their lives are more stressful than everyone else's. Their kid has a diagnosis, so therefore it makes them less worthy as a human being. Their lives can be prematurely snuffed out and it is ok, because their parents were stressed out and their children were damaged. So basically, that means that my children's lives aren't as important as other kids, since my kids may or may not become "productive members of society." This just makes me want to retch and vomit!

Sorry to be so emotional. But it hurts me to hear of such things. My children are precious and beautiful, gifts from God. I thank God for them every day (at about the same time I pray for a miracle, to hear my son's voice!). I have my ups and downs like every parent. I cry out of frustration, like every parent. And, my kids are naughty, like all other children. They push the boundaries, give us the "hairy eyeball" when they are reprimanded and throw temper tantrums. I have seen other kids in Tar-zhay do the same thing, and it makes me LAUGH, because then I know I am not the only one! It makes us normal!

So, I am sorry, but the best I can do for these parents is pray. Pray that they will repent and see the light. Pray that they know they made a mistake and did something that was not acceptable. Pray that God is as forgiving as I have been taught. But I cannot condone their actions. I do not feel sorry for them.

There is one more thing I can do. I can hug my children when they come home from school and appreciate that they have been given to me because I am the right mom for the job.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

The confusing world of Autism

My head is spinning and I don't know which way to turn.

There are so many choices! TOO MANY CHOICES! I just don't know what to do. I have been reading and researching treatments, opinions, medications, behavior techniques, diets and the like for nearly two years. I still have not made any decisions. I cannot sort out what I have learned. I am afraid to try the wrong thing and too scared to sit back and lose more time.

For instance, the special diets (DAN! GFCF): Everything I have tried so far has not worked. He still gets belly aches, none of the tests are pointing to allergies or hernia, he doesn't have polyps and his bowels look fine. His behavior did not improve on or off of a diet. I tried some vitamin therapy and some detox. I felt like a fool after a year when nothing changed. In fact, he STOPPED talking. I have taken him to special docs and such for a while, no improvement. He has been seeing a chiro for three years, and although he enjoys it, it isn't going anywhere.

I know I am not buying the Mercury thing. I have been reading so much about it and it just doesn't make sense. If Mercury is the cause, why is it that my friends who do NOT vaccinate still have children with Autism? And, why is it that some kids who do chelation don't improve? I just don't think this is the route I want to go. I am not sure it is something that needs to be cured.

Neurodiversity: These people have a great mindset. Accept the kid the way they are. But is sitting back and letting things happen naturally going to make him fall so far behind we will never reach him? I am afraid to find out! I want to just accept him and move along, but it is so scary and surreal.

Behavior modification: Do his behaviors need to be changed or suppressed? Is it so bad that he flaps his hands and jumps up and down? Ok, the destructive stuff has to go (it is getting expensive) but do I need to do intense therapy with him 30+ hours a week, ignore the rest of the family and home and hope he improves?

Floortime: Sounds good on paper. I have read tons on it. I want to do the training ($$, as usual) but Darling isn't 100% convinced. But, is it too close to behavioral interventions? Is changing his behavior wrong?

Cure Autism Now: They have a good message, great research, very vocal, very involved. I signed up to do the walk and field a team. I even told my family about it. But now I am not certain I want to do it. I am not sure that Autism is something that needs to be cured, or if it can be cured. Call me a skeptic. I admit it. But I cannot support them if they want me to raise money for them so that they can do another study on mercury, thimerisol, etc. I know they do so much more, but I am having a very tough time deciding on this one.

Autism Society of America: They are coming across kinda negative to me. They keep talking about how hard it is, how it is torture, how difficult it is for the kids. Like it is a disease. Like it makes my sons' lives miserable. I will admit it, it is not tea and cakes on a daily basis. But my kids are HAPPY and healthy and love. Therefore they are WORTH having! I don't think of them as an epidemic or a mistake. I think of them as an expression of Darling and my love. And a gift from God (hence Bugaboo's name). That may not be their intention, but that is how I took it.

You see, most of the groups out there make you feel like you have to do tons of intervention, therapy, meds, mods, etc. "Your kids aren't normal. Your kids aren't typical. They need to be changed, they need help, they are miserable. " I don't feel that way! I want them to be happy and loved and to succeed the best way they can. They are loved by us and God, unconditionally. So why does everyone want them to be "OK?" Aren't they ok?

As you can see, I am having some very conflicting thoughts this weekend. Could be the "AF" hormones, could be sleep deprivation. Could also be me reading into things too much, and thinking too much. Bug Boy told us last night that his brain goes so fast sometimes it makes him want to scream. I totally know what he means. And I know where he gets it!! It is difficult to make a decision when all of these thoughts are swirling around inside my brain like a cyclone.

I think I should go to bed and lay off of the caffeine for a few days...

I wrote that post last night before I had any sleep. It has been a stressful week due to little sleep and Bugaboo's health issues. He has a nasty cold and feels lousy and keeps waking up at night. Now, I have been used to waking up several times a night, but then he spoiled me and started sleeping through. I don't know which I prefer!
So, I am feeling better. Still confused, not so overwhelmed. But still need to lay off of the caffeine.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Things I want to say

Last week I spent hours reading other people's blogs. I love reading about their adoptions, births, family issues, heartfelt feelings, love life's, the list goes on. In some ways it makes me feel so NORMAL, in other ways I feel so fortunate just to have what I have, no matter how horrible of a day we had. There are always people who have it worse than we do, and they handle their difficulties with more grace and composure than I could ever muster. Oh, how it humbles me!

I am truly blessed. God picked me to do a very important job and I hope I am fulfilling my duties. In the meantime, I am doing the best I can. But I still need to vent, and this is my forum, my outlet, if you will. So, without further adieu, I bring you, "Things I want (read: need) to say."

Darling: I love you with all my heart. You are a wonderful husband and father (I've told him this part many times). But, you get so caught up in your projects, your garage stuff and your grass-cutting that you tend to ignore the kids a little too much. I know you just finished ten hours of hectic office politics, but I need you to be here when you get home. That is, I need you to take over. They are only awake for about two hours (sometimes less) when you get home. Can't you watch tv or tinker with your jeep or lawn mower then? I need a break! I know you try, and sometimes you deliver. But I need you to be more accountable and responsible. Oh, and on weekends, let's keep the garage disappearing act to a few hours, not 8-12, mmkay?

Brother: You are young, vibrant and hold more potential in your pinky than the other six of us ever had. Every time I think you are headed down the right path and have everything going for you, you get caught up in something. You are going to lose your career, the one you have worked so hard to establish. You are doing so well for yourself! We are so proud of you, why do you have get around the wrong people? I know that isn't you. You are a kind and loving person, you are thoughtful and fun-loving. The kids love you because you are a "fun uncle" and you give them the neatest Christmas presents (which, by the way, you spend WAY too much money on!). Please, please, PLEASE slow down and start thinking about your future. You are a good looking guy, you could do better than you've been doing! You would make a fine husband and father if you'd just cut out the teenage antics!

Other brother: You are going to be thirty years old. Shape up, get a life, stop getting canned from every job you have and MOVE OUT OF MOM AND DAD'S HOUSE!!!!! I love you, but you also act like a teenager. And I can't believe that anyone in their right mind would still want to live with mom and dad! Except that you are enabled at every turn and you take full advantage of it. I love you.

Third brother: You are a great guy, have great connections and work harder than anyone I've every met. Who else has held 3-5 jobs his entire working career? No one! However, you are on the fast track for burn out. Sloooooow doooowwwnnnn. You work too hard. Your wife does nothing except take advantage of that fact. She spends your hard-earned money on her frivolous affairs and isn't responsible. And when I call her princess, I mean it in a mean way. It isn't a term of endearment. Oh, and by the way, some of us LIKE having kids and the lifestyle that goes along with it. So stop making snide remarks about how it has ruined our lives, because believe it or not, we LIKE this torture!

Dear sister: I love that you know every movie ever made. Every tv show, even. You are a walking movie and TV tome. And witty and smart, genius even. You and I are the only people I know that read books at school dances and parties. However, I am very concerned about your son. Git yer head outta yer rear end and do something about it. I know how you feel about psychologists and doctors (or, aas you affectionately refer to them, "quacks.") but believe it or not, some of them DO HELP YOU. And will help your son. Please, for his sake, get him to a doctor for an evaluation. He needs help. He is four-years-old and his behaviours are out of control. He has autism. It runs in the family. It sucks, but there is NOTHING you can do about it. So stop running away from it and do something to help your son reach his potential! While it is cute that he repeats everything he hears, memorizes books and movie and TV characters and has a train obsession like his four male cousins, many of his behaviors (ok, almost all) indicate autism. So go do something about it.

(kind sounds like I am picking on my family, huh?)

Dear MIL: I know you mean well, and you do try sometimes, but you do not try hard enough with Bugaboo. He needs you. He needs you to be consistent. And you play favorites with your grandsons. You basically honor Bug Boy because he is the first and spoil and dote on Beach Baby because he lived so far away for so long. You totally ignore Bugaboo and it isn't acceptable. He doesn't hate you, he doesn't ignore you. He has autism. Deal with it. I know it hurts you and it worries you, but how do you think it makes us feel? It isn't a party you know! But we are dealing with it. We are capable of making decisions regarding his welfare. SO stop asking stupid questions, doing research on the internet and questioning his medical care when I get 2-3 opinions from well-qualified medical professionals. Start being his grandmother. There is a way to reach this child, take the time to figure out how.

Dear son: I love you so very much! You have the brightest smile on your face every morning when I have the privilege of being the first to see you open your eyes. You are the sunshine on a cloudy day for me, the beat of my heart. But I am in so much pain to see you this way. I want so much to hear your little three-year-old voice. I want you to look in my eyes and let me know it is all ok. Please, communicate with us! We need you! If you could only tell me how you feel, if your tummy hurts, what you want for dinner or that you'd like to go out and play. Or not. Just tell us! We are trying so hard to reach you and figure out what it is you need! It is such a guessing game. I know you are doing the best you know how, but you have so much potential. You are so smart! I have never seen a child do some of the things you do. Your five-year-old brother doesn't even do them. But you can! Show us what else you can do! Sing the alphabet with me! Play Head-shoulders-knees-and-toes! I don't want to pressure you but so many people have already given up on you and have written you off. I know you are still in there. Show us!

Tabloid and news media: Leave them alone. I know you think that because they have a public lifestyle that it means you can follow them around and exploit them, but that doesn't mean you can do crazy things like box their cars in, take pictures of their kids and stand around their house, or better yet, fly around their houses. I know they could do better to protect themselves and give photo ops so that you'd leave them alone more, but the children! Stop taking pictures of the kids! That really, REALLY bothers me! If you want photograph their cottage-cheese thighs and their nipples hanging out of their bathing suits, that is on you. But please don't take pictures of their kids. It is so insanely wrong.

Political people: You could be doing a better job. I voted for many of you. But you are sending our country to heck-in-a-handbasket and I am embarrassed! My overseas friends ask me some weird questions that I don't know how to answer. What the HECK are we doing there? Please don't let this turn into another Vietnam. And start admitting that this has more to do with Oil and our interest in it (hmmm, the president is an oil tycoon, interesting!) and less to do with establishing democracy in a country that has no hope for it since they have no desire to protect human rights. I am in support of our troops and I believe in our country. I believe that their tyrannical dictator is an evil man who must face justice. I even believe they aided terrorism and may even have WMDs hidden SOMEWHERE. But I don't think this was the way to go about it. I am no expert (and please don't flame me in the comments section, I won't respond!), but I do know that something just doesn't seem right. I don't watch the news, and I rarely read it, but I know what I know...And there are people in other countries that need our help more that DON'T have oil and have darker skin and their women and children and suffering atrocities that shouldn't ever be, why isn't anyone helping them?

People who sit behind red tape: You make it much to difficult to obtain therapeutic services for our children. They are entitled to a certain amount by law and you just make the process draining so that more parents will give up before their children receive what they need. But not here! We will fight to the bitter end because my child is worth it. He will get what he needs. I am not interested in taking more than he is allowed, I am not one of those parents who are sue-happy and get the district to pay for private school (which is where they would have sent their kids anyway, if they had been typical). But, he deserves a chance to learn to speak and behave like any other three-year-old. Mmmkay?

Ok, I bet you don't want to read any more of my thoughts. I have more people to "talk" to but won't today. I feel better already!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Long time, no blog!

We decided to take a short holiday at the family's cabin in the middle-of-nowhere-Pennsylvania. It was divine. The weather was perfect, the kids had a great time and the adults (darling and myself) relaxed! I even SAT AND DID CROSSWORD PUZZLES!!!! And sudoku and logic puzzles. I am still in awe.

Bugaboo ended up getting sick, nothing new there. He woke up Saturday morning with eye boogers (ewwwww!) and They became progressively worse as the weekend passed. By the time we drove home Monday morning his eyes were stuck together, his tear ducts were running worse than his nose and he cried yellow tears. I thought he had pink eye. WRONG!

It took a few hours to get a cell phone signal since we were coming home through the mountains. I managed to get a call in to the pediatrician, and miraculously she was open on a holiday weekend. So, we brought him right in and she told us he had CELLULITIS. Which, as I understand it, is when the tissue surrounding a wound or infection gets infected and inflamed. Which is why my dear Bugaboo resembled Rocky Balboa. No worries, if the antibiotic and eye drops didn't work we were just gonna have to go to the hospital and be admitted for an IV to get those germs outta there.

Needless to say I had a minor panic episode, since we had a surgical procedure scheduled for this child and had to postpone it due to illness FOUR TIMES. There was no way I was going to let it get postponed again! NO SIR!!! I made SURE that he choked down the antibiotic and Darling and I devised a way to get the eye drops in several times a day by sitting on him. Yes, I said sitting on him. Hey, whatever works, right?

So, Bugaboo had the procedure(s). His eyes are better. His nose is now oozing green slime, and said slime now covers my shirt, stomach and hair from his hugs and "kisses." He'll be right as rain in a few days. And, even after being under anesthesia for a spell he woke right up and hopped out of the hospital bed ready to get his day going. The child never ceases to amaze me.