Bugaboo's IEP

Today was Bugaboo's IEP meeting. He wasn't due for one until January (they are usually done at least once a year or sooner if needed) but we felt that since his placement changed that his IEP goals and services should reflect the new school situation. It was nearly two hours long but the goals were all very accurate and well-written, the team that works with Ian had wonderful things to say about him and everyone was kind and supportive. They are still providing two session of OT, one of PT and Two speech Therapy weekly, in addition to the group speech and OT sessions. They also are going to provide PECS training to Darling and me, at my request. We feel that since he isn't really talking and has no interest in sign language that it is time to move forward with the PECS more consistently. They are used as a bridge, not an actual language, but at this point we will take ANYTHING that helps him to communicate.

I feel very good about this move. We felt that things for Bug Boy were finally falling into place and he is doing so well. It is time that Bugaboo does well, too. The part-time class just wasn't doing it for him. He is lower functioning than most of the kids and is so hyperactive that he ended up distracting the other kids and killing the dynamics of the classroom. And he was off task so often that he wasn't getting ANYTHING. We've also submitted paperwork for a TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) to work with him during school hours at least half the day until we feel he can function without one.

This was a very difficult decision to make. It means he will be away from me twice as long as before. It means he will leave his beloved class and teacher. It means he will have transition issues and have to start all over again. It also means he will no doubt fall asleep on the way home each day due to exhaustion from the stimulation and the new environment. But I know it is what he needs. The only way to make progress is to make changes. Keeping things the same for him meant that he would not have a chance to change. It meant more of the same. That wasn't good enough for us.

So, I am nervous, scared and excited all at the same time. I can't wait for it to begin but at the same time wish I had more time with him. This is it. He is going to be in full-time school for now on!

Something clicked

I don't know if it was the wicked argument that we had Saturday evening, the silence that ensued on Sunday or that Darling finally heard what I was saying to him but last night the impossible happened. He realized I was stressed out and overworked with Bugaboo, helped with dinner, cleaned up the dishes, got the kids in bed and ran an errand. It gave me time to get to the bottom of Mount Washmore and then veg out in front of the tv and relax. Do you know how often I get to do that? Hmmmm, maybe once a week! Fifteen to twenty minutes of his time saved my evening. And I appreciate that sooooo much. I told him that, too!

I am not trying to get him to do everything in the evening. I just want a few minutes of his help, some chores traded off, so that we may both have the time we need to rest our brains. He is overworked at work and I am overworked at home. I cannot change his work situation (except to encourage him to work on his resume) but he can easily make things better at home for all of us by chipping in to pack lunches (his and Bug Boys') or by giving the boys their bath. These are things he often does but sometimes it requires prompting, eye-rolling and nit-picking to get him away from the tv or computer. I have to remind him that the kids will be in bed in ______ minutes, so can he please postpone his couch potato state until then? Could he please refrain from watching car crashes on You Tube until then?

What I am attempting to do is to create routines that my whole family can employ. I'd like it to be as if we are operating on autopilot. I do not want us to have to think about what needs to be done but instead follow the list and do it quickly. That way we all benefit and can relax and feel more human. I know everyone has a stressful life and that we all have demands but the boys (especially Bugaboo) are worth two or three kids each. In other words, sometimes I feel like I have four children because of the amount of intervention they require. Just getting Bugaboo to bed or even asleep is a monstrous task. By the time I am finished the evening routines and get him to sleep it is well past my bed time. Putting Bug Boy to bed is easier but it takes patience and understanding while he goes through his daily anxieties, worries about the placement of the dog's water bowl(It was on the left yesterday. Today it is on the right! That is bothering me!) explains why he can only play with one child at a time on the playground, even if it does hurt his best friend's feelings. By the time that is all over, is it any wonder that I just wanna crawl under the covers and disappear? And Darling wonders why sometimes I have no energy for, um, ahem, getting to know him? Don't get me wrong (sorry if it is TMI) ours is a good sex life, but if I had just a tad more energy perhaps it could be a daily event. I know Darling wouldn't mind it!

Moving right along...

Bugaboo has been a little bugger (no pun intended) the past few days. He is off of his schedule for some reason and there have been no major changes other than him being sick on Thursday and Friday. Apparently it is enough to throw him into a tailspin. He slept and ate horribly all weekend, wouldn't take his meds and got overly-exhausted which possibly caused more seizures. He was incredibly hyperactive and was difficult to deal with the past two days. His therapy session was a wash. I am hoping it is improved today because his time on task yesterday was three second. Yes, three. I kid you not. Frustrating, to say the least. We were improving to the point where we could have him doing puzzles, sorting colors, building blocks for ten minutes at a time. And he was at three-second intervals yesterday. I felt like crying. I could tell that he was probably having seizure activity by the way he was ticking and staring. It is horrible to watch. Let's hope he takes his meds for the rest of the week!

Bug Boy is having an amazing couple of weeks. School has been the best thing since, well, sliced bread I guess. Or since the Llama. But I digress. He has adjusted so well the teachers are confused that he even has a label/diagnosis. He is still having control issues (the dictator returns) and is directing play at kids instead of interacting with them ("rotate that block to a 30 degree angle. No, not that one! The BLUE one!) and prefers to only play with one child. He has been obsessed with one child in particular (who thinks he is General Grievous). But he loves school, is academically LEAGUES ahead of the other kids (think: Roman numerals, times tables and second-grade reading level) although emotionally is about 4, and he is almost six. That it ok. Boys do tend to be immature and he is developing play skills. He is also a little teacher's pet, finishing his work and then helping the other kids. He LOVES to help others. What a sweetie! It is going so well that the School Psychologist finished her testing for the IEP and proclaimed that he is gifted and there is no way he has Asperger's or PDD. You know, 'cause she's known him for six years and all. And she knew him when he had twenty or more fits of rage and anger a day, wouldn't use public restrooms, screamed and went under a desk when the lawn was mowed or refused to go to school for a month after a fire drill. Yup, he's cured.

Pardon my sarcasm. I just love it when professionals (albeit in a nice, polite way) try to tell you there is nothing wrong with your kid when you spent the past three years with intense therapy to get them to appear more, well, normal. And we obviously did a great job because they look at me like I am certifiably insane when I tell then about his diagnosis or past behavior or his issues with pragmatics. Or that they think Bugaboo cannot possibly be autistic since he has good affect, smiles all day and gives hugs and loves to sit on laps. You know, 'cause autistic kids can't be loving and emotional. Sheesh.

There I go, off on my soapbox again. Sorry! I'll end it now before I subject you to more of my insanity.

Like the new look? Miscellaneous details.

Got tired of the plain ole white and black so I upgraded to Beta and also fooled around with the templates. One of these days I will design a totally new template of my own but for now this is good enough. I like this color combo (green is my favorite color).

We had quite a busy weekend. After manic mode on Friday I was exhausted and Darling let me sleep in and got up with the boys on Saturday morning. Except that Bug Boy had soccer at 9:30 and Darling climbed into bed and snuggled with me at 8:45. Yup, we barely made it. And yes, they played in the mud and rain.

Once the game was finished I stripped Bug Boy down and wrapped him in a blanket, drove home all three blocks and then got him dressed again so we could head to Tarzhay for a present for his best buddy's birthday party. Then home again to shower and dress and head to the party at 3. Bugaboo had fun playing upstairs in Polite Boy's bedroom and with the barbie cars in Little Miss and Middle Girl's room. At one point he had enough and Darling took him home (you know, it is twenty whole feet away) and I stayed and chatted and kept an eye on Bug Boy.

We got home at eight and Darling and I had a fight within five minutes. He was cranky about having to clean up after Bugaboo for a whopping hour and when I walked in Bugaboo decided to poop in the tub. And break three doors in the house. So needless to say, Darling just about lost it (see, I am used to it!) and made a snide remark about needing more time to himself. That did it! As my friend Dr. Betsy so eloquently puts it, I "Got Irish" for about an hour and we had a screaming match that ended in him leaving for two hours. I managed to get the boys in bed and when he finally got home I finished the wake-up call at which time we both apologized. Then I hit the hay, he came up two hours after that. We didn't talk at all, which was FINE BY ME!!! I was so angry with him having the audacity to suggest that he needed more free time. I mean, HEEELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!! What the bleepity-bleep does he think I do around here all day? Huh? I admit, I could have better used my time on Friday, but c'mon! I wasn't along all day anyway! I watch the neighbor's kids in addition to my own and it isn't easy!

Woke up Sunday morning a little late, Bug Boy and I headed to church and Sunday School. When we got home Darling gathered his tools and we headed to a friend's house to help her put together her new, beautiful and overpriced CW playset. YIKES it was expensive!!! We were there about three hours, had a nice playdate and I was able to chat. Bugaboo had a nuclear meltdown about half-way through and begged for the stroller and the car and passed out in his stroller for a while, which was nice, since he spent most of the time trying to run away from their house (no fence!). When we were finished there we went home again, vegged, started dinner, watched football. Bug Boy had Polite Boy over to play for a while, Bugaboo destroyed the house as usual and I picked up around the house. When dinner was finished and baths were completed we did our weekly Tarzhay run and hit TJ's. Home to melting down kids, cranky husband and needy doggie.

If I wasn't so busy and over-scheduled tomorrow I would wait to do the shopping. But tomorrow, oh joy of joys, I have my yearly exam! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!! Can't wait. Just kidding. I don't mind it. I just hate the part when they ask you when your last period was. Do people really keep track of that? And, I have to say the part where they SCRAPE cells to do your pap smear ain't exactly pleasant. The breast exam is fine. This will be the first year in six years they can do the exam with out breast milk squirting all over! Sorry if it is TMI!!!

The only problem with this weekend is that I didn't have any time to mess around and do silly things. You know, like surf the net, play with Photoshop, play the piano. I haven't done yard work or gardening in ages. I miss it! And soon I have to bring my plants in for the season and remember to water them!

Ok, enough rambling for the time being...I cannot collect my thoughts today. Reading over the past few paragraphs it shows!

This is what I did yesterday:

I was in a bit of a manic phase yesterday. Blame it on the full moon, high tide, stress level, lack of drugs, who knows. It started out innocently enough, cleaning out the boys' closets in order to put the dressers in the closets so that Bugaboo won't climb them and knock them over. And it ended with me gutting both rooms, taking apart furniture, swtiching their rooms, painting Bugaboo's new room and having Bug Boy's friends (Little Miss, Middle Girl and Polite Boy) help set his new room up (they were THRILLED to surprise him!). It took six hours from start to finish. Don't ask me what I was thinking (I wasn't!).

Anywho, at least it wasn't doing something drastic to my hair, which is what I normally do when I am manic.

Things I am not doing today!

Going to the Y to workout (will try to get something in here)

Getting all of the Fall decorations out, like I planned

Taking Bugaboo to playgroup

Bugaboo's therapy with TSS

running two errands

Having coffee this afternoon with another Mom at Bugaboo's playgroup

Having breakfast with my best friend

Dropping things off at Goodwill

Taking my sweet ole time in the shower

Baking or cooking random things

Switching the rest of the fall/winter stuff

making appointments over the phone

Wanna know why? Bugaboo is home sick today. Very stuffy, didn't sleep a wink last night. Well, six hours, does that count? He slept most of the afternoon yesterday due to this cold and feels lousy now. He cannot breathe out of his nose and is developing a croupy cough. And the worst part is that because of the seizure medication he cannot take anything for the cold, since it could counteract the seizure meds and could actually CAUSE them. Uh, no thanks! So saline and tons of fluids are the order of the day. And hopefully a short nap (like, no more than an hour so he sleeps tonight!) for us once the Little Miss (my neighbor's kindergarten-aged daughter) gets on the bus for the afternoon. And we need to get that nap in before Little Miss, Middle Girl and Polite Boy get off the bus after school!

Funny Joke

Bug Boy told us a joke today that had us in hysterical fits of laughter. I mean, talk about tears in our eyes! Do you wanna know the joke? Do ya? Huh? Huh? Ok, hope I can do it justice. Here it goes:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'cause he wanted to get to the other side! HA HA!!!!!!

No, really. That is the one he told us. Wanna know why we laughed so hard? It is a long story and I have never been accused of being reticent. So here is my best attempt at being abridged and coherent at the same time.

First the back story:

Darling has a step-brother Brian that is the same age we are (34, did I just admit that?) and has Down's Syndrome. He functions fairly well but mostly is like having a five-year-old around. One night the family was out for dinner to one of those cheesy dinner theaters. You know, the ones with the huge, fattening buffets made with large cans of institutionalized foods? Anywho, It was pouring rain, the show was TERRIBLE, the roof leaked and there was no one there. At half-time (I made a funny, it is really called intermission) the Emcee asked if any of the twenty captive audience members (no doubt all family members) would like to come up and tell a joke to warm up the crowd. So, Brian and his friend Brad (who also has Downs) were the only ones to raise their hands. Brian went first and sauntered up to the stage proudly. The Emcee handed him the mic, he cleared his throat, smoothed his hair and said:

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

The place was roaring. It was so darn funny the way he acted surprised that no one got the punchline. He was beaming from ear to ear from the fact that someone laughed at his joke. Then Brad jumped up and ran to the stage to collect his thunderous applause. Brian slapped him on the back, gave him a little pep-talk and handed the mic over. This is what Brad said:

Why did the chicken cross the road? (Oh yes he did!)

There wasn't a dry eye in the place. And you could barely hear Brad's punchline (do I really need to type it? You know what he said!) people were laughing so hard. It made an otherwise dreadful evening one of the most fun I've ever had. They were so proud that on the way home they announced they were starting a comedy act. And they kept telling the joke and laughing at each other.

Guess you had to be there.

Anywho, that is part of the reason Darling and I were guffawing over that particular piece of humor.

Here's the other reason: Kid's with Asperger's and PDD (Bug Boy has a dual diagnosis at the moment until he gets a little older and they finally give in and tell me one or the other) typically have great difficulties with emotions, body language, facial expressions, sarcasm, jokes and the like. There is a concept called Social Stories that helps gives children with ASDs a script to memorize and work on until they get it. That way they can function better and interact and not be so isolated. I have been working on jokes and expressions with Bug Boy so I am proud that he FINALLY is getting it. Or at least memorizing it, the kid has a memory like an elephant, I tell you. If he hears you whisper something five miles away pertaining to a year from now, he will remember and remind you. Every five minutes. Until your head explodes like a smashed pumpkin.
So, we are glad the prompting and social stories are working a little bit. He is playing well with some kids, he is playing soccer and not throwing himself on the ground every time a kid takes away "his" ball and looks forward to his after-school group every week. At least things are going well with him. Now all we have to do is get things a goin' for Bugaboo! Stay tuned for his update.

Random Acts

I do not usually get on my political soapbox because I believe that one should never discuss religion and politics in polite company. I know that my viewpoint differs from others and I have the right to express myself but I choose not to get into these discussions for a variety of reasons. One of them is that people tend to be defensive when they are not expecting such a conversation and it never turns out well. Another is that I am an opinionated, talkative and expression fool. I prefer not to get all "Irish" on people. Hard when you have my hair color.

Today, however, I feel moved to discuss something that I have thought about for years. Are you ready? GUN CONTROL. Yes, even this girl, the daughter and niece of avid hunters, the sister of a cop, now sees the need for SOME KIND of reform. The disturbing part is I feel very strongly that at this point it may be moot, for we have traveled so far down the path of gun violence I often wonder if there is any way to reverse it. Guns have simply gotten out of hand.

I try not to watch the news anymore for that reason. As a mother, I cannot stand to hear that someone's child has been gunned down sitting in the back of her mother's car on her way home from school. Or that our city is rather proudly boasting that the two hundred ninety-fifth victim of gun violence was killed this weekend. Even worse is hearing about these CLEARLY DISTURBED individuals who walk into schools you know, the place where our kids are supposed to learn in a safe environment?), and assault CHILDREN. And often times there is speculation as to why these people can do such awful things but generally the reason dies with them when they complete the most cowardly act of all, suicide.

Now, don't jump on me about my opinion. They are cowards for killing those innocent children and then turning the gun on themselves. I hate hearing afterwards that they were depressed or seemed moody and isolated for a few days before. I cannot believe that no one around them noticed or realized that they were stock-piling weapons and being weird at work or school. I often think that people are afraid of a "loose cannon" and just do not want to be involved. And I can understand that because we have one of these potential people in our family.

It is scary to think that someone in your family is disturbed to the point that they would commit a violent act. My husband and I live in fear everyday that we will finally get that phone call saying that his father succumbed to his demons and acted out. He is Bi-Polar, Obsessive-Compulsive and apparently paranoid. He has been in and out of our lives several times, blaming us for each break-down in communication. He is off of his medication and acting erratically and it scares us. And no matter what anyone in his family says he refuses to listen. He thinks he is invincible. The worst part is that unless he does something to harm himself or others he will get no help. We cannot force someone into a rehabilitation if they do not care to partake in it.

Never mind that he dressed up like Santa a few years ago and showed up at the local farmers market and handed out candy canes without permission. The cops thought it was weird and tried to ask him to leave. Instead of showing the police man his ID and leaving when asked, he took off, made himself look more suspicious and then HIT THE COP WITH HIS CAR when he tried to flee. And he spent two weeks over Christmas in jail, refused to have a psych eval and ended up in a community service agreement which expunged his record. We all would have rathered he did jail time so that he could finally be forced to be evaluated.

A few years before the santa incident (that was in USA today, local papers and on CNN!) he was fired for trashing a laboratory at his former employer. Instead of calling the police they fired him on the spot and threatened him that they would pursue a case if he ever tried to get anything out of them or contact them. He got away with it.

When he was physically abusing my mother-in-law in front of their two and four-year-old children she was told NOT to call the cops since no one thought it appropriate to air their dirty laundry. So she moved out and left him there instead.

Basically he has been a loose cannon his whole life. We know he was a victim of something as a child but never found out the details. And because no one has ever stood up to him and everyone has danced around him his entire life he now has a complex. He thinks he can get away with it, or it is someone else's fault or they will clean up the mess. And he was fired from his latest job a few months ago for doing similar things. They never pursued pressing charges and once again he got away with it. There is so much anger inside of him that it will eventually blow.

So, every time I hear about these violent acts I pray that it is not his name they mention in the story. I also pray that he will allow his family back into his life so they can help him. I pray that he will once again take medication and realize that he cannot live without it. And I feel helpless that there is nothing we can do and that the system doesn't allow for us to do anything legally. Trust me, his soon-to-be-ex and his children have explored many avenues. Nothing. All we can do is wait and hope and pray.

Little Man

The other night I caught a tear-jerker-of-a-documentary about filmmaker Nicole Conn and her partner, Political Activist Gwen Baba. It wasn't really about them, it was about their son, Nicholas. He was born a micro-premie and the film documents what they went through, from the moment he was born at twenty-six weeks to the moment he left the hospital well after gestational age.

Forget what you may or may not feel about their living arrangements, their decision to use a surrogate, their disagreement about whether or not to terminate when they found out the surrogate had health problems she didn't come clean about that caused their son to have a host of medical problems. Concentrate on the helplessness their family felt at watching their teeny baby hooked up to machines and wires. Think about how they had to sit their and wait, and wait some more, and wait even more still to even TOUCH their baby. Yes, they have scheduled "touch time" in the NICU. Look at the pained but joyous expression on Nicole's face when she got to hold him, kangaroo style, to her chest for the very first time.

I did not post this to conjure up discussions and disagreements about "alternative lifestyles" and "playing God." I posted this to give you an example of a parent who will fight for her child, who loves him unconditionally despite the almost guaranteed delays and medical issues he will face, who has never held him and barely sees him yet would give her life for him. It is difficult to watch what they do to these babies just to get them to survive. The film does stir up some issues about when it is just too much for these babies and when is it a good time to just let go?

Check out the website to Little Man. I wrote them an e-mail I was so compelled and they actually responded and thanked me for sharing my thoughts. Who does that these days?

Oh, and if you wanted to know, I caught it on Logo but it has been airing on Showtime as well. You can watch a clip and see some photos here.

Nothing

Here's a great song. Ten points if you can guess the correct artist. If you win I will send you one gumdrop in the mail, parcel post. Can't guarantee it won't have been licked, though:

There's nothing I hate more then nothing.
Nothing keeps me up all night.
I toss and turn over nothing.
Nothing could cause a great BIG fight.

I know she meant something else about the word nothing but I like that particular part of the song because I often say there is nothing bothering me. Weeeeellll, OK! If nothing is bothering you then why can't you sleep? Why do you stare at the ceiling in the dark trying to remember and then forget and then remember and forget everything you have to remember?

Part of my problem is that I have a brain that works at warp speed. Most days so does my body. I just cannot slow it down. Nothing helps. Until I took an antidepressant about a year ago. I couldn't believe the difference. But now I hate the way it makes me feel! So I am not taking it anymore. I hate not feeling anything.

Of course, until I get used to sleeping on my own and feeling on my own I will have to deal with the sleeplessness. And I have to use my own devices to deal with things, you know, like coping mechanisms?

I can do this. I can eat better and get exercise and get more sleep and keep going to parent groups. I can also keep doing leisure activities to keep me sane. I can do this.

This is a public service announcement

We interrupt the regularly scheduled program to bring you the following:

Marj is mad as hell and ain't gonna take it anymore! Now, don't ask what Marj is angry about, 'cause she doesn't really know. She just feels angry and pessimistic and has a very low tolerance for anything at this particular moment in time.

It could be that she just wants to give up because things are quite difficult in her life. It could be because her kids are driving her crazy because they are faaaarrrrr from typical. It could be because her husband called her at 6pm on one of the most difficult days she has ever had to say he was late (no shiat!) and that he wouldn't be home until late(8pm). And then he had the audacity to come home and say, "By the way. There is a very good chance I have to go away tomorrow or Thursday for two days. They need help in California and no one else really wants to go last minute." It could be because that means he will not be home to participate in the Cure Autism Now walk that she is participating in that he wanted to get out of anyway. It could be because Marj has to take Bug Boy for an EMG today and she is worried about it. It could be because yesterday Bugaboo refused to communicate during therapy and did quite a bit of crying and whining and we really got nowhere fast, except exhausted. It could be because Bugaboo is giving us a difficult time with taking his medicine. It could be because She has gained weight and hasn't had much time to do anything for herself since there have been multiple doctor's appointments the past few weeks. It could be because she needs a vacation to Hawaii. It could be because she is referring to herself in the third person and that is really scary 'cause it's all Hannibal-Lector-scary-transvestite-serial-killer-in-Silence-of-The-Lambs-it-puts-the-lotion-on-itself-or-else-it-gets-the-hose-again-like.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

(The management wishes to apologize for the earlier tirade and wants it to be known that in no way, shape or form is the management responsible for the pre-menstrual psychosis of the afore-mentioned soliloquy. So there.)

Toddler Fashion

Sounds screwy, and I know there are more important things in life, but I pay close attention to what my children wear. If we are just home on a Saturday morning lounging and reading books then sweats and tees are ok. But for school I prefer to dress them in comfortable, casual but decent-looking clothes. There is a method to my madness. Allow me to explain.

My mother may not have had tons of money and resources but she always made sure we had a few new outfits and new shoes. I never had to wear hand-me-down shoes. Most of my clothing came from a cousin or sister but the shoes were always new. Mostly because we beat the heck out of them since we only had two pairs, one for church and one for school. Play? Well, barefoot, mostly. I never really wore sneakers. And, if I did get a pair, I shared them with my brother for soccer and they were a size bigger than I needed so we could wear them longer. And they were always ordered from the SEARS catalog, along with our clothing, toys, electronics, you name it. I used to love going with my mom to the catalog store and getting the slip from the lady and then walking up and down the aisles looking for G-14 , A-6 or the large stuff in aisle J. There were usually four or five of us running around, Dad browsing scratch-and-dent for a couch or washer (we went through washers like Kleenex). It was a family event.

I was never at the height of fashion but I was dressed ok. Clean clothes, few stains, tears if they were in style. I never tried to be fancy. Darling doesn't try to be fancy, either. He does like to buy nice clothes for work to look his part (Associate Director, thankyouverymuch). He grew up dirt-poor, thrice-divorced parents, wore the same five "98 Hot Hits" tee shirts to school every day and kids teased him for it. So we try to make sure the boys are presentable and clean on a budget.

It may seem silly to some to dress the boys the way we do. I scour the consignment stores and thrift stores for GAP, Children's Place, Ralph Lauren and any European clothes I can find. Usually I get everything for under five dollars and in new or next-to-new condition. I do the same for me. I get Ralph Lauren Saturday on E-bay. And everything else I can't find in consignment I get at Old Navy or Target. Members of my family would never DREAM in putting their children in used clothing, but I can get my kids fully outfitted (minus shoes and socks, I always buy those new, unless I find a pair in GOOD condition) at a consignment store for $75 or less, including church clothes and a coat, when I can find them.

Why does it matter that I dress my kids this way when their peers are wearing sweats and tee shirts to school? I believe in dressing for success. Collared shirts and pants or jeans are more presentable. Gym pants are ok with sneakers on gym day but that is it. Not that I am always at the height of fashion.

My main purpose for doing this is because I feel that if I can dress my kids more "typically" then they will be treated as such. I worked with children with special needs in the past and sometimes their parents sent them in to school dressed for bed, in tattered clothes, in clothes that were ill-fitting or outdated. It shouldn't matter what they wear but I feel they were treated differently as a result. I also felt that their parents could have cared less what they wore since they were the "retarded kid" or the "autistic kid" and everyone expected them to have lower status anyway. I dress my kids in play clothes but they are always clean and neat. And if they get horrible stains or tears I do not allow them to wear them again. I do not want anyone looking at my child and thinking less of them or me because of the way they dress.

It may sound superficial and materialistic but I do not care. The reasoning behind it is clear and simple. I just want them to be treated fairly and not singled out. Dressing them like "special kids" will only add yet another stigma to them, you know?

Ok, go ahead and leave me comments and tell me how crazy I am for this...

Audrey Hepburn Movies

I love classic films. Give me black and white anyday over some of the movies made today. I love the simple sets and special effects, the attractive landscapes, the beautiful costumes and the witty banter. One of my favorite actresses is Audrey Hepburn. I thought I'd take a moment to review a few of her movies, in chronological order:

Roman Holiday (1953): This has to be one of the cutest movies I've ever seen! Audrey Hepburn stars as a bored princess (Ann) who decides to escape palace life to get a taste of what is outside the walls. She meets Gregory Peck (MEOW!), a journalist who befriends her and is out for the next scoop. A sweet little romance develops between them before the Princess has to return to her duties. Some neat scenes on a scooter touring Rome, great views of famous places. I love the fountain scene.

Funny Face (1957): A goofy movie in which Audrey turns from a shy, bookish shop girl into a Paris Model. She meets a photographer (Fred Astaire) when he does a photo shoot in her book shop and he thinks she is the next "it" face. He talks her into going to Paris to do modeling and she figures it is the only way she will get to see her beatnik hero. Dick (Astaire) doesn't count on falling in love with her. Look for great fashions from Givenchy and Gershwin music. I'm not crazy about the plot but it IS Audrey Hepburn so it is worth watching. Plus, The clothes are amazing. Have you see the new GAP commercial? Stolen from this movie!

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961): If you haven't seen this, stop reading at once and go rent it. Go home and watch it. Don't eat popcorn as you might choke while watching this. Audrey is Holly Golightly, a New York Socialite who becomes interested in a young man (George Prepard) in her building. She works as a high-priced escourt and he is being "kept" by a wealthy older woman. She is searching for an rich, older man to marry and he wants to become a writer. Guess what? They fall in love! I love how quirky and sweet she is in this film. I also love that she names her cat, well, Cat. And that the climax of the film occurs in the POURING rain. Very old-school Hollywood! Once again she wears some super fashions, has adorable hair and flashes that Audrey Smile. The film in which I became a devoted fan. Look for Mickey Rooney as an Asian man in her apartment. You will also see Buddy Ebsen.

My Fair Lady (1964): I reviewed this one in a previous post, but since it is my favorite film of all time I reserve the right be be repetive. I cannot get enough of her in this film. From the smudges on her face in the beginning to the gorgeous ballroom gown she wears to the embassy ball, this was what I dreamed of as a little girl. Yes, I wanted to be Eliza. I can sing every song (poorly). I've read "Pygmalion" (the George Bernard Shaw play that this musical is based on) at least a hundred times. Rex Harrison was an interesting choice for Professor Higgins since he can't sing a note and it is a musical, but he was perfect. Audrey caused a stir when she was chosen for the role and not America's Darling Julie Andrews (who is British, mind you). They ended up dubbing her singing over in the end even though she trained with a voice coach!

Robin and Marian (1976): By this point in her career Audrey was raising children and staying out of Hollywood for the most part. She teamed up with Sean Connery for this chapter in the Robin Hood stories in which Robin returns from the crusades an old man and searches for and re-teams with some of his merry men. Kinda hokey but still cute. Not enough of Audrey in this film. But you will see Richard Harris and Denholm Elliott.

Always (1989): This was Audrey's last film before she passed away and she is only in a few scenes, but she is phenomenal anyway. This is a cute film with Richard Dreyfuss as a fire-fighting pilot who dies and comes back to make sure his lover moves on with her life. Holly Hunter, John Goodman and Marg Helgenberger (CSI) also star. Audrey is Hap, the angel that helps Richard Dreyfuss figure out how to get to his final destination.

A few other Audrey Films that stand out but I haven't seen enough times to review properly are The Unforgiven, Charade, How to Steal a Million and Two for the Road. I think she is good in everything, although I thought The Unforgiven was AWFUL!!!! Nuff said.

Landau-Kleffner Syndrome

We took our monthly trek to duPont yesterday and spent the customary five hours there. Bug Boy insisted on ordering the "kids meal" of chicken nuggets and fries, what a healthy lunch! I was glad we ate there, since we didn't leave until well after two o'clock and I had only packed snacks.

The Neurologist is fairly confident that Landau Kleffner Syndrome is what ails Bugaboo. There is no real cause and no real cure. Some kids get it before age 5 and lose the speech skills they have, often becoming aphasic once the seizures set in. Sometimes, with medication and therapy, the kids regain some of their skills. There is a good chance this will happen with Bugaboo. Most of the children diagnosed with it grow out of it. But we have no way of knowing if he has already suffered significant brain damage and cannot recover. It is so scary and confusing! And, on top of that, if he truly has this disorder it means that all of the doctors who have told me for the past two years that Bugaboo does not have autism would be right. But I feel he does. Even if he developed the seizures when we thought he did (twenty-months or so, around the time he stopped sleeping at night!) he was still a "different" kid before that. I mean, a quiet baby. Almost too quiet. And he was happy and content, but was never all there, you know? Always off on his own little planet with the happiest smile on his face. A little angel. Except for when he does his whirling dervish impersonation and destroys my house.

So the plan is to continue with meds and keep at that for three more months. Then we do a repeat EEG to see where we are, then try steroids if we have to. We have to get that brain calmed down!!!!

Bug Boy also saw the Neuro. They don't think he has this disorder but are doing some other tests because the doctor sees his spasticity and is concerned. He is going on six and is having bowel control and muscle problems. He has always had delayed motor skills. There is a chance he has a seizure disorder, has some mild (very, very mild) CP due to the cord around his neck and blueness at birth (although he SCREAMED for hours after he was born!). He was always over-stimulated easily and was spastic as a baby, so this would make sense. They will do an EMG (muscle stim test) to rule that out and also an MRI to rule out Muscular Dystrophy and other things. I don't even want to think about this until the tests are done. We won't know much until December. Hopefully overtaking will be fine and we won't have that hanging over our heads for their birthdays and Christmas!

Darling and I are slowly recovering from out recent sicknesses. I still have no energy and hope to make it back to the gym by Monday. It will be three full weeks since I have been back and I feel like a total blob. If I don't work out regularly I go nuts. I need the physical outlet! Hope the exercise clothes fit, doesn't seem like they will right now!

Okey-dokey. Time to get Ms. Procrastination in the shower and get the house picked up before the deluge of children arrives. Not until 3:30 but I still have errands to do!

Movie Buff

Move over Siskel and Ebert. Or Ebert and Roper. Or Gene Shallot. What EVAR!!!! Marj is in the hoooooooouse! Marj is also dellusional after five days of fever and an antibiotic that she is allergic to, but that is a different story for a different day.

I have a tendency to look at the bright side of things, and ask Dino Boy's mom, (UPDATE YOUR BLOG!!!) I can be a little overly positive about things. (Autism is GOOD for my kids! It makes them unique! And Bugaboo's delayed speech is good 'cause Bug Boy talks enough for THREE people and I need a break anyhow!). I digress. Anywho, It is good that I have been housebound since last Tuesday because I have been able to watch movies at my leisure. Even though changing the channel still takes to much effort.

I come from a family full of movie buffs. We like our electronics and DVD collections (wonder where the kids get it?) although these days I have barely enough time to pee solo, let alone watch an actual film. I despise the theater, mostly because I have to pee every ten seconds and ain't payin' my life's savings and promising my first born son just to get up and miss half the movie. One toilet in the 16-plex? PUHLEASE!!!! So, VCRs, DVDs, on Demand, it's for me! And when I watch movies with my sisters we sit and quote the entire thing and drive our husbands crazy. You know, our own version of MST3K? And we know way too much about movie trivia and can totally kick ass with six degrees of Kevin Bacon. DUDE, we rock at it!

What was my point again? Oh yeah!!! The movies! I have decided to enlighten my audience with a few picks each week so that y'all can see where my warped brain comes from.

Muriel's Wedding: What's not to like? Toni Collette before she lost too much weight, her natural red hair and plenty of pure talent. Her character (Muriel/Mariel) is so delusional in this film it is almost comedic. She listens to Abba, steals money from her father (who embezzled it or something) and dreams of the perfect wedding. Gotta love that she finally gets a grip at the end. One of the reasons I love Australian Films. Look for Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under? Or some other show I haven't seen).

Amelie (Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le) : This has to be one of the cutest movies I have ever seen in my life. Seeing a trend? Quirky foreign films? Anywho, Audrey Tautou before she was in that dreadful movie with Tom Hanks (haven't seen it, know I don't wanna 'cause they should never make books into movies). She is this painfully shy coffee shop girl who fancies herself a matchmaker. Her father doesn't pay much attention to her and thinks of nothing else but his garden and some beloved gnome. So what does she do? Steals it and sends it on vacation with a stewardess friend of hers who mails home postcards from each location to her grieving father. It is a scream. Then there is the guy she eventually falls in love with who collects photos from those photostrip booths in the mall and train station. Bizarre. But totally worth watching if you can deal with subtitles.

Pride and Prejudice: Many, many, many versions. Yes, I know, it is from a book. But, I cannot get enough of the films, either. Love my classics, Bronte sisters, Jane Austen. Ok, so here is the run down:
1940 - Greer Garson as Elizabeth Bennet. Theyy really talked fast back then! But it was still good, albeit somewhat overly acted. Loved the costumes, fake scenery and the mansions they used.
1980 (tv): Caught this on PBS and it was pretty good. I thought the acting was much better than the 1940s version and Elizabeth was much more, well, plain in this version.
1995: OMG! The best version evar. Honest. It was a tv series by A&E and I had the tapes until they got eaten by our old VCR. Colin Firth as Darcy (HOTTIE! BABE!) and Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth, the best one out of all of the versions I have seen. I love that they stayed true to the books of the time and did NO KISSING!!! We didn't even see hugs. The way it SHOULD be. Build up that sexual tension and leave the rest to our imaginations!
2003: Pride and Prejudice, a Latter-Day Comedy. Yes, theMormonn version, brought up to modern times. Elizabeth Bennet is played by Kam Heskin, a college student who reluctantly falls for a rich publisher (Orlando Seale). There are some LDS references in there (Latter-Day Saints, not the Drug LSD) but it is cute and quirky. If you can get past the fact that they rearranged the end to make the plot make sense, it is worth catching on Encore some Sunday afternoon.
2004: Bride and Prejudice. This is the Bollywood version of the story. Very cute, great actresses from India and filmed there as well, except for the scenes where they travel to England and America for family weddings and such. I love that they never kiss in Bollywood, either. And the singing and dancing is first-rate. Love these Bollywood films! Look for Naveen Andrews as Bingley (you know, from Lost?).
2005: I have to tell you I was horribly disappointed in this version. It was still a good film, but Keira Knightly is just too pretty and skinny for Elizabeth. And as much as I like Jena Malone, she was too childish and snotty for Lydia. Lydia is supposed to be silly, not snotty! The actresses were far too pretty. The scenery was ok, the costumes were ok, but I just felt like they tried too hard to make the overly-pretty Bennett girls look homely in plain-Jane colors. I know they were supposed to be "poor" (ha!). I just didn't like this one as much. The musical score was AMAZING and Matthew McFaden made a good Darcy. But Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennet was a but of a stretch. Sorry, couldn't get into Hawkeye as their Dad. But the rest of the cast was good! Honest!

My Fair Lady: I love musicals and love Audry Hepburn. For me this is the perfect combination. I can sing every song, know every scene and can repeat the dialogue for the whole movie. Yes, kinda taken from a book. But well done! Love the dress Audrey wears in the ball scene. She looks like a princess. Did you know that Audrey originally sang it herself and they dubbed in a different woman's voice?

Moonstruck: I can watch this one sixty times over without getting bored. Normally I despise Nicholas Cage, but I love Cher, so it cancels out. You know, like vinegar and baking soda neutralizes and you can make water? Sort of. This film isspicyy, salty, sweet and everything in between. It makes me wanna eat. It also reminds me of my sister's in-laws who are from Italy. This is a superb all-star cast, has Opera References (La Boheme! One of my favs!) and the pace of the dialogue keeps me intrigued. One of my favorite parts, "When I lost my hand, I lost my pride! Johnny's got his hand, Johnny's got his pride! What am I supposed to do, take my heartbreak and forget it?" Classic.

I'll stop there. I may get brave and do an entry with Quentin Tarrantino films or even Kevin Smith. Heck, I might even give you the Jane Eyre rundown (seen most versions of that, too!). Tune in another time.

Is it Wednesday already?

I know it's Thursday, silly! I've been sick the past two days, today ain't much better. Achy, feverish, sore throat, tummy trouble. I hate the flu. I know it is early in the season, but I usualyl get something as soon as school starts. My first year working in schools I had strept throat 6 times.

I was supposed to do Coffee with Chaotic Mom but that ain't happening. She had a rough night with her little guy anyway. And the thought or smell of coffee is enough to send me heaving anyway. I tried to eat something last night and it was NOT GOOD! So Darling bought me a milkshake for dinner, which I managed to get down. Yummy! And sooooo nutritious.

I'm happy the boys are at school today. Bugaboo was acting kinda sick yesterday, I was relieved when he was back to his ole self this morning. I need the morning to park my behind on the couch.

Dont' ask about the bunny pic. I ain't thinking such coherant thoughts today.

What is WRONG with me????

I just put my babies on the buses for the third day. I cannot believe how much I miss them already! What in the heck is wrong with me?

I should be doing my best Tom-Cruise-in-Risky-Business-Routine and dancing around the house, elated that I have the whole place to myself for four to five hours a day! I should be getting my routines done and running errands. I should be relishing the solace and peace that I am finding here.

Instead I am watching the clock and waiting for the first bus to arrive home. I cannot wait to hug and kiss my boys. I cannot wait to read about their day.

Ever since I could feel them swimming around in my belly, tap dancing on my bladder and playing soccer with my ribs, I have felt a very strong connection to them. I almost feel that my heart beats in synch with theirs, that my breathing matches their own. I cannot think of a better way to start my day than to see my boys smile at me after they run the sleep out of their eyes and yawn. I cannot think of a better way to finish my day than to tuck them into to bed and kiss their cheeks or foreheads and to peek in on them an hour later and put them back in bed (they often fall asleep on the floor) and steal one more kiss.

I am as stressed out as any mom. My boys are TONS of work. Even if they didn't have special needs I'd look forward to them going to bed or school. But I enjoy my job as a mom more than anything else I do. I love the fact that I am raising adults. And I almost wish I could do it with one more. Almost!

Meet the teachers

Back to school night was last night. It was the usual thing, twice as many parents as seats, crammed into those teeny chairs. The teacher talked a little about classroom procedures and schedules and gave us a packet full of information that most people probably won't read. But then she started talking about the academic portion of the evening. Darling and I commented later about how different Kindergarten is these days!

When we were in Kindergarten there was mostly play, some art projects, some playground time, snack time and then nap time. Nowadays kids are expected to be reading and writing and doing some arithmetic by the time they progress to second grade. Keep in mind that Kindergarten is not mandatory in our Commonwealth. The school district can basically set their own curriculum and decide what they will focus on. Some districts make it first grade part one, which is TOTALLY inappropriate from a developmental standpoint. Children at this age are in school to learn to socialize, to get used to rules and routines and to get a basic foundation and understanding of learning. These days districts are so concerned about the almighty dollar that they push things so early in order to ensure more children pass the standardized tests that often predict what type of funding they will receive from the state or federal level.

I am happy with our district and think that Bug Boy can handle it. He is fairly bright. He reads on a first grade level, knows his addition and subtraction facts, taught himself roman numerals and is teaching himself multiplication. He has an interest in foreign languages and geography. He has that hunger for learning that I had as a child. His area of focus (for me) are the socialization and emotional components that are essential in higher grades. He tends to lag in fine motor skills so coloring and cutting and the like are going to be even more important for him.

Bug Boy is staying for an extended day and has an enrichment/extra support class in the afternoons. His afternoon teacher is wonderful and we feel great about their expectations for him. We were able to walk around both rooms and look at his artwork and were able to pick it out without names due to the fact that we know our son exclusively uses red crayons and we know how he draws faces. He also made a paper doll of himself, complete with hair, and remembered to put the blonde streak in on his doll! So even his doll has piebaldism. Very cute!

I can finally let out the breath I've been holding for months and Darling and I now breathe a collective sigh of relief. Bug Boy has come a long way from the anxious and frightened preschooler he was. He even told me he doesn't need his headphones at school anymore! That in itself is a miracle!

Never Forget or Never Remember?

Today started out like any other. We hit the snooze button too many times, I quickly woke the kids, threw on the tea water, put the weather on and ironed DH's clothes. Except instead of the weather report I was expecting, there it was: Coverage of the fifth anniversary of 9/11.

Now, I am a somewhat patriotic person. I fly my flags, know the anthem and other songs by heart (more than one verse!), wear the red, white and blue like anyone else. I sat glued to my television for days after that tragic day. I watched those towers fall over and over, watched the Pentagon burned, watched a farm in rural PA with plan carnage smoke from a big hole in the ground. I lived it over and over, cried over and over, watched the celebrity telethon, donated money. I prayed in church for hours. I cried in church when we sang, "Let there be Peace on Earth" and "How Great Thou Art." I took part in remembrance celebrations a year later.

This is different. I have had time to heal and reflect. I've had time to move on. I understand that the families who lost their loved ones on that fateful day cannot move on and forget. But I need to. I need to observe this day quietly. I don't want the man at the grocery store asking me what I was doing at that precise time (I was walking Baby Bug, now Bug Boy, and my toddler niece on the nicest day I could ever remember! I remember thinking how GORGEOUS and how awesome it was and thinking that God has truly blessed me with that day!). I don't want the lady at the gym saying over and over, "So, did you watch it? Remember when this happened? Remember when that happened?" I don't want to watch controversial ABC dramas that may or may not skew the facts. I don't want to go to movie theaters and pay money to people who are making money off of other people's pain. What I want to do is pray, reflect and enjoy. Yes! Enjoy! Enjoy the fact that God chose to make this a cool almost-fall day. Enjoy that today my baby is getting on the bus and riding an hour to his new school! Enjoy that tonight is back-to-school night at Bug Boy's school and DH is finally going to meet his teachers. Enjoy that I have the whole day to myself and can read, go to the gym, eat a lunch SITTING DOWN and get my errands done in less than two hours instead of the usual four!

I support our troops, I remember our veterans. I observe a moment of silence and say a prayer on days like Veterans Day, Memorial Day and D-Day. I appreciate that brave men and women sacrificed their lives for my freedom. I pray for our troops overseas. I pray for World Peace. I pray for our President and wish he could see things the way I do. I pray for former presidents and wish they didn't do the things they did that helped create the world we live in.

Today? Today I want to pray and then forget. I don't want to watch those towers coming down, the papers fluttering to the ground, the people jumping so they die on their own terms instead of burning to death. I want to continue to heal. I can't do it with these constant reminders. Every baseball game, football game, soccer game, NASCAR event and televised event has to do their little remembrance. Even at church yesterday we sang songs in honor of that day. I know that may be other people's ways to heal but for me it is sticking the sword in further and twisting it. The pain is still too much for me.

I plan on keeping the tv off. I plan on staying distracted. I am not turning the radio on and will listen to CDs instead. I won't read the paper or listen to or watch the news. And when Darling insists on watching the end of that horrid movie he watched last night I will be upstairs folding laundry or watching makeover shows. And then I will forget until next year. I will pray but I need to forget.

Guilty by Word Association

Don't usually like meme's, but this one is kinda fun. I've been tagged by Heather, so here it goes:

Hilarity - Ensues

Faith - of Our Fathers

Chocolate - Dark!

Crayons - Wax

Book - Club

Ok. My five words are: Chicken, walk, brain, unique, sex. So, Crissie and Nancy, get to work! Tag, you are it!

Weird, Wild Stuff

Tomorrow is our little borough's annual Yard Sale. It is a HUGE event in this town. Just about every house in town puts a table out. Some residents go to the extremes, hoarding miscellaneous items in their garages or on their porches starting the day after the previous year's yard sale. There are people that drive around town on trash nights and pick through our trash, collecting treasures. You know the ole adage, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Well, nowhere else does it ring truer.

It is almost obsessive in some ways. I mean, this school district ain't cheap, even in our teeny little pocket. We are surrounded on all four sides of our four-by-four block neighborhood by another school district. And the taxes for even our "lower-class-status-than-the-richy-posh-types" are still enough to make your eyes bulge. So, people here have to have a little moolah to move here (or spend way beyond their means to live here). Why the trash-picking?

I think I have figured it out just by people watching in the evening. I hate to say this but people here are a little greener than in other areas of our county. There are more lawyers and doctors and ivy-league types in this district than there are what I'd consider "normal" people. I am not knocking people's choices or their personalities, but as a friend of mine once put it, everyone that lives here is "unique." Where I grew up that meant weird.

We recycle like crazy, compost, yard sale, regift, you name it. People here like to save money and feel good about saving the environment. My brother calls them hippies. Perhaps, but I feel better knowing that the crap that I throw out can sometimes be reused. And the stuff I sell? Well, last year a few friends set up with me and we all raised money for charity. I've done yard sales in the past and made a few hundred. A far cry from those home organization shows where people clear $1500 in a fancy-schmancy yard sale in the L.A. area, people spending $200 for gaudy lamps and paintings of fruit. Sheesh. But, it is fun. There is a large turnout, interesting things to see, neighbors all walking the streets chatting and laughing. We meet new people, cringe when the weirdos try to barter us down from 25 cents to a dime and trade little items. Hey, we got a VCR/TV combo for 15 bucks to replace the one Bugaboo pushed onto the floor. So, it isn't all crap.

Just the stuff I am putting out tomorrow. Can't wait to see who considers it treasure!

Who is This Murphy Guy and What's the Deal With This Law?

You know that ole saying, "Murphy's Law?"

It really ticks me off. The guy who came up with it oughta be strung up by his toenails and then tickled silly.

So Bugaboo decided to sleep last evening. We kept him up, fed him well, gave him his meds and it took him all of five minutes to fall asleep. Keeping him up a little later (8:30 or so) seemed to work, he is still asleep! It is 7am! So, if he is only going to sleep 8-9 hours, I know that I now have to put him to bed after 8:30.

I know you are asking, "What about Murphy's Law? You referenced it in your title!"

Patience.

The past few days I've been fighting migraines. The weather is not helping the cause. Between my Gosh-awful allergies, Darling cutting the grass (Repeatedly. Ever see Forest Gump?) my changing clothes over in the dusty attic and the fact that Aunt Flo is here the very week I don't wanna see her, My head has been about to asplode for days. Last evening it came to a head. I was supposed to iron Darling's clothing for the week while he packed lunches. I camped out on the couch for a few minutes after Bugaboo went to bed and we both started to doze off watching college football. By then my head was pounding so I took something and we went to bed. No ironing. Heck, we didn't even brush teeth (EEEWWWW!!!) and Darling didn't take his contacts out (Bad!).

Scene: Master Bedroom,Two-in-the-morning. M-j tosses and turns in bed. Her head is throbbing. Her husband kicks her in the shin because she woke him up, accidentally, of course. The dog gets up, moves across the room, and grunts loudly as she settles down in the same exact spot she left. Snoring is heard in the other room. By some miracle the boys are still asleep. M-j quietly tip-toes downstairs and retrieves her bean bag hot pack, nuking it quickly. She returns to bed a few minutes later and tries to get comfortable again. The throbbing persists. She goes downstairs and nukes the hotpack once more. Retiring to the couch in the Living Room (best nap couch. EVAR.) she once again attempts to relax and doze off. After two hours and several trips to the microwave, M-j gives in to the voices in her head (what, you don't hear them?) and takes more headache medicine, knowing full well there will be a stomach ache to deal with in the morning. She gets the hand massager and hotpack and settles back onto the couch, the dog is suddenly at her side trying to comfort her. After another hour of massaging, hotpacks and repositioning, M-j finally dozes off. Only to be awakened by the neighbor starting his car and leaving for work (stinking Dodge Trucks are SO LOUD!). She creeps slowly up to bed and realizes the headache is now a dull throb. Thank goodness! M-j sneaks back under the covers, the dog plops down in her spot and they all drift back to sleep until...

"Is she really goin' out with him...Is she really gonna take him home tonight? Is she really going' out with him..."

The alarm goes off. Darling looks at me and hits the snooze button. He tells me I need a few minutes more. Nice try, honey.

Nine minutes later, " And the Southbound lanes of Route 30 are jammed solid from..." Another snooze button.

Nine more minutes. " Laser Eye Center. Make us your first choice..." Ok, I'm up, I'm up! SHEESH!

So, I managed to get around five hours of sleep last night, which is more than I have gotten the past two weeks. It figures. He sleeps through the night and I wake up for hours. And Bugaboo is STILL asleep.

Dang Murphy's Law!

Updates on stuff

I love my hair.

I am ready for the boys to go back to school.

I am itching to get to the gym, since Bugaboo hates the babysitting there I haven't gone much in the past two weeks.

My sister and SIL have visited us this week with their children. Not at the same time. I've been surrounded by toddlers.

Our basement was getting damp, Darling figured out what was wrong and it no longer seeps. But we have to fix a sink hole under our deck ASAP so we don't start getting water in the basement.

I watched the neighbor's kids a few times and it went well. I will be watching them everyday after school for 2-3 hours. A pretty good job.

We finally locked the computer in a cabinet and Bugaboo can't get to it. The only thing that shows is the monitor! My LR is now a Music Room, with a couch from a friend (thanks tracy!) and our piano, plus my flute, two recorders and a guitar. The guitar I need to learn.

I have been decluttering again and it is looking great around here! I even got Darling into the action and we cleaned up the utility part of the basement and it is much better organized. I also have a heap of stuff to go the the borough Yard Sale next weekend. Now to get to the boys' closets and the closet where I keep the holiday stuff. The bane of my existence.

I wipe the two picture windows and slider EVERY DAY and there are greasy little finger prints all over it an hour after I wipe it. Bugaboo loves to get in the window on the window seat and look out at the trees. He also licks the window. Don't ask.

I hate doing dishes. We cleared the dishes last night but I forgot about the pan I cooked fish in. This morning my house totally STUNK of fish. It still kinda does. We cracked the windows and have the simmer thingy going. I do not like it when my house smells like food. That is why I grill outside three-hundred-sixty-five days a year.

Darling has been off all week. We were supposed to go to the cabin. We stayed home because we were anticipating Bugaboo having night terrors and had nothing up there to calm him in the middle of the night if that should happen. So we spent the week just doing whatever/whenever and it was really nice. A vacation in our own home. Tons of family time. Just what we needed! We are both quite relaxed. But Bugaboo and Bug Boy really need school and therapy. We are doing what we can but this week was a reminder of why they received therapy in the first place!

Bugaboo needs outside time. Like, all day. And this week is difficult for him, since it has been raining just about all week. I am glad we got playground time in here and there, he NEEDS it. Today he is crying and dragging us to the door. We are about to take a ride, he is very upset he can't go out in Lake Erie (my back yard!).

Beautiful morning at the playground

We managed to get in a great playdate this morning, and I met two more moms of kids with spectrum disorders. These kids went to camp with Bug Boy and Bugaboo and are about the same age. It went very well and they all had a blast. And Mommy was able to talk to people who know exactly what we are going through and we were all able to brainstorm and share ideas. Fabulous. Darling even came with us and played with the boys and helped me supervise Bugaboo so I could chat with the mommies. WOOHOO!

I like having playdates with people who know what I am going through. Bug Boy does better because he is less anxious around kids who act like him. It is like the pressure is off and he doesn't have to perform, he only has to be himself. And mommy isn't walking on egg shells, worried that he will offend someone or touch someone the wrong way, because they understand WHY he does such-and-such and when I correct him they don't look at me like I have three heads. We discovered today that we all use variations of 1-2-3 Magic with our kids. And we all use charts and reinforcements. I shared my carnival ticket schedule and reward system. They told me about things they do.

I know Bug Boy and Bugaboo have to play with "typical" kids, too. I know they need other kids around the learn social cues and what is appropriate. And, they need other kids that will teach them some lessons the hard way, like by excluding and saying mean things. Sounds harsh, but it is real life and my kids can't live in a protected bubble. Their non-typical friends help them with those lessons, too, just not in the same way. So, I think they gain the best of both words. I am all for inclusion and having my boys with "normal kids" but I feel very strongly that they need to be around kids like them, too. They need to be able to identify with someone and feel comfy. Don't we all?

These other mommies are also in a parent group that I am thinking of checking out. There are a few in our area, one is for more Asperger's-type disorders and that is ok, I could use some support for Bug Boy. But the other group is more geared towards the total spectrum. And Bugaboo-type kids. We shall see. Let's try to get Darling on board, too!!!

Thirteen things about Marj's Day

1. SIL is here with her son and we are having a nice visit.
2. We are supposed to be away on vacation right now, but due to Bugaboo's current medical issues we did not feel it was a good time for us to go.
3. We spent the week being lazy and sleeping late but got more housework done in two days then I usually get done all month. Having Darling home is good, in some ways. He takes over with the kids when I need to, I get naps and they love having him home.
4. It was a great day to take the kids to a local farm/orchard where they have a phat playground. It wasn't busy, it wasn't hot and the kids had a blast. We were there for two hours.
5. We had a nice lunch at Panera's. All three kids were ready to fall asleep at lunch.
6. Only one kid slept when we got home. Not my kids.
7. I mad a kick-ass, though easy, dinner tonight. MIL came over and she was in good form and was helpful with the kids. We had grilled pork tenderloin, fried green tomatoes, salad caprese and grilled pineapple. It rocked!
8. After dinner we took a family walk with everyone, including the dog. It was a beautiful walk! We even had to wear jackets!
9. When we finished our walk we got the kids ready for bed, they really didn't fight it much. Darling built a fire outside and Darling, SIL and myself had some wine and talked for a few hours.
10. I stink of Eau de Campfire.
11. SIL might rush home tomorrow ahead of the storm.
12. We are trying to talk SIL into staying an extra day or two, no reason to drive home in the rain to try to beat the storm home.
13. I don't want to go to bed right now because it is so quiet!

I am hormonal. Having my normal nephew here is difficult. He is chatty, a charmer, generally pleasant and cute. He also eats. I can't help but watch Bugaboo and cringe. At the playground it was tough, too. Bugaboo did his normal circle (he finds a loop, like up the ramp, down the slide, around the back and back up the ramp, and does it over and over) for the whole two hours. At panera he stared at the ceiling fan and stimmed on the stroller with his feet. And Bug Boy's anxiety about school next week is making it loads of fun here. And my in-laws, and most other people, don't think there is anything "wrong" with him since he seems so normal. They have no idea.

Gotta stop feeling sorry for myself. This is my life. I can handle it, I can do it. I have been doing it. Don't compare to others. Keep finding more moms and dads with kids with ASDs to hang with. And find some time to see my friends. THAT is killing me. I need some girl time, badly.

Five days a week Sept 11. Can't wait, but I know I'll miss them both!

Hair, there and everywhere

I finally made the decision.

Today at 1:15 I have an appointment to chop off my hair. It is currently down to past my bra in the back and the longest layers have grown out to past my shoulders. It is a wavy mess. The color has grown out and the greys are showing again. And as much as I love having long, sexy hair, I AM SICK OF MY HAIR!

I have had this style or a variation of it for over fifteen years. It has always been a bob, a layered bob, a long layered bob or long layers. Basically the same cut, shorter, longer or in between. And the same hairstylist has been itching to cut my hair funky and sexy for ten of those fifteen years.

Twice in fifteen years I have had the guts to do something more drastic. Once I went to a new stylist and I HATED IT. I just had a baby and did the stupid thing and got a modified mom cut. BLECH! It was awful. I felt ugly and frumpy. I want to avoid that so I am going to my regular stylist. She is the kind of person you can trust, she knows exactly how to make you look good! She owns her own salon.

So, wish me luck. I have a ton of anxiey over this. It is the story of my life, keep it safe and don't take chances. Just maintain the status quo and don't rock the boat. Be boring and plain. WELL NO LONGER! MARJ has left the building and is being replaced by MAR-J. So there. And, let's hope she ain't boring a plain, 'cause Lord knows we don't need that around here.

It'll grow back, right?

We have an answer!

Two weeks ago Bugaboo had an EEG (24 hour hospital stay, loads of fun!). Yesterday the Neurologist called us with the results and it was very interesting news. We aren't sure if we should be happy or worried but we feel so much relief. Relief because we finally have an answer to the question that has been plaguing us for months: Why is Bugaboo heading down hill with his skills and behavior and is there anythign we can do to stop it?

The Neurologist (who could have spent 5 minutes on the phone with me, giving me a diagnosis and a prescription) actually talked to me for over forty-five minutes explaining exactly what they were looking for, what they found, which areas of the brain are affected, what it causes and how to treat it. He was very thorough and patient and answered all of my questions. He was also very supportive and calmed my fears. So this is what he said (very abridged version!):

Ian currently has "multiple abnormal misifirings" of the brain in his frontal and temporal lobes. In other words, he is having tons of teeny seizures all day long, every day. Like, possible one hundred or more a day, and that was just the day they did the EEG. And they have no idea how much damage these little seizures have done or how long he has had them. We know it has been at least a year judging by the behavioral changes we have seen in him.

Now, this is sort of good news. It can be controlled with meds. We will have to monitor him monthly to be certain the meds don't do damage to his liver or kidneys. But he has to start meds before it does more damage and turns into epilepsy, which would be much more difficult to control. Once the medication levels are attained and they feel the seizures are stopping, it is a matter of time to see how he rebounds, if he rebounds or if we see any improvement in his behavior.

The doctor feels that most of his behaviors can be attributed to the seizures. The poor kid has auras and headaches constantly. That is why he is banging his head on the couch, biting his hand, having temper tantrums and mood swings, running around like a spinning top and spacing out so much. He also is having short-term memory problems and committing things to long term memory (since much of the time he can't remember five minutes ago!). He can't remember eating a few minutes after he does it so he asks for more. He can't remember he just polished off a full cup of juice. He can't remember that he learned how to drink out of a straw. At the playground he tends to find a circle and stick to it, like going down the slide, walking in a circle and then going back down the slide again. And he will do that for an hour if no one interrupts him or until he snaps out of it. It is a bizarre thing to watch.

We are very hopeful that once things are under control we will see the real Bugaboo emerge. We have felt so strongly that there just isn't something right about our son, that he is in there somewhere. And we were right. The doctor said all along that he didn't feel Ian has the severe autism we thought he had, he kept looking for something else when everyone else blamed it on autism. I'd like to kiss that doctor (but he is married and so am I! But he is really cute!). So now we wait to see what happens. They expect significant changes and we pray for them. There is even a good chance he may regain some speech! If only!

Stay tuned, I will update with more info later...

Oh Husband, wherefore art thou?

Darling works very hard to provide all that we need around here. He has a decent job with awesome pay and amazing benefits. Except when it comes to therapy for autism-related services, but I digress. Darling typically leaves at 7 am and returns home about 5 or so. Not too shabby.

Recently his job has gone through some major restructuring. They changed the name of his department and are now under a slightly different umbrella, although owned by the same parent company, J&J. He still works in the same building at the same desk, with the same people, but with a different E-mail address and a different business card. It is a little strange.

Since the "reorganization" occurred it became apparent that layoffs were imminent and outsourcing was in the near future. He had been working on it for five years and had no idea. He also slowly climbed the ladder into management by that time. And recently when the restructuring commenced, the management was squashed sort of horizontally and vertically, meaning that the five managers became three (and he had to reapply for his OWN JOB) and the associate directors were also cut down, some directors above that were removed entirely and the main director given more responsibility. Still with me? Basically they were trying to give more responsibility to less people for more accountability less pay and more stress. Ha.

Darling retained his position. No, he did better than that, he received yet another promotion, bringing him over three figures. His promotion was more money than I could get back at teaching. But the extra money comes at a price.

Darling is now gone from 7 to 7 at minimum. His laptop comes home with him seven days a week. Most evenings and a good part of the weekend is spent with his laptop out, snapping at the kids for bothering him, with me getting absolutely no break from the kids. The household chores are piling up and we are stressed out and exhausted. Add in the extra stress of two very active boys with special needs and we are about at the end of our proverbial ropes. It is making for a difficult time at Chez Happy Family.

And, if you thought things were at their worst for us, add in Bugaboo's newer health and feeding issues, Darling's recent return to depression, Bug Boy's newly reformed bathrooming difficulties and anxiety and momma's lack of sleep and there is a (metaphorically speaking) time bomb about to go off.

I know it is only a matter of time before things crash and come to a grinding halt. It will happen, I am bracing myself for it. The only way things will change around here is if it all explodes. For some reason we tend to be on the dramatic side and need the drama in our lives. It will, believe it or not, make things better around here. It happens every year at this time. Darling has some issues from childhood that I SWARE have everything to do with it. Swear, too.

I almost want to toss our vacation out the window and just stay home and focus on getting walls painted, sleeping in, getting the kids ready for school. But I think Darling needs to go to the camp to get back to nature and simplify his life. No TV or phone. No cable modem. No washer and dryer, no dishwasher. Dirt roads, no traffic, creamery ice cream. YUM! A few days of that and he will be much more capable of dealing with the day-to-day grind. Either that or he will start looking for jobs up there (again) and driving us around to look at houses in the area.

Weekends are too short

This weekend was one of the most relaxing on record. Evar.

I barely did a thing. This new self-imposed laziness of mine is turning out quite nicely. I keep up with a few basic routines and make sure everyone is fed and the house is picked up and that is the extent of my housework. It isn't horrible around here, but it isn't great either.

Darling is on vacation starting this Friday at 5 pm. I can't wait! We plan on getting some painting done and then going to the camp for a few days. We shall see. I kinda don't want to go to the camp at all, but he insists. Maybe I will send him up with Bug Boy by himself for a few days. I just wanna stay here (with Bugaboo) and do nothing.

Saturday I stayed in Jammies for hours and then finally got ready to go to a BBQ. Darling stayed home with Bugaboo and I took Bug Boy with me. Since Bugaboo is a bit off (to say the least) we felt it was a bad idea to drag him to a BBQ. I am glad I went without him, he would not have been happy! No fence to contain him and a beautiful house that looked like a museum. Not the place for him. He has also been up quite a bit the past few nights with what we think are night terrors. Not fun. Little sleep for Momma!

Saturday Dear Sister (Dino Boy's Mommy) invited us to the pool. Darling was going to stay home but decided he was taking the day off from housework, too. So we all went to the pool for a few hours and it was heavenly. We had a nice lunch, the kids had a blast and I actually sat down for a while. Fences! WOOHOO! Bugaboo can do his thing. Of course, he did try to climb over it a few times and was vigilant in case someone forgot to close the gate. After the pool we headed to dear sister's to cookout. Darling helped her Darling put light kits on a few ceiling fans. We had a nice simple dinner and ate outside, it was breezy and warm. Nice!

We headed home last evening and the boys were still awake when we arrived home, surprise! They usually doze off after swimming. We fed Bugaboo again and tried to put him to bed, to no avail. Darling had to take him for a ride to get him to doze off.

I was able to go to bed before nine. Why did I have so much trouble falling asleep when I was going on eight hours total for the entire weekend? GRRRR!!!! But, i still had a decent night's sleep.

This morning I headed to the gym, the boys went to the child watch room. Bugaboo isn't too fond of it, he made it about 45 minutes. I still got a good workout in, but didn't completely finish it. I may have to get a sitter for him this week to go again!

Ok, time to shower. I stink. Good thing that blogs don't contain smells.

Several replies

A few people have e-mailed and commented that they want to know what happened in cyberspace that would provoke me to post the entry I posted yesterday in my blog. Without going into gory, horrific detail, here is the shortest version:

I belong to a few forums (online chat-type things). I also belong to two newsgroups, kinda like Flylady where you get e-mail type things or can just read them online. The forum pages are set up more like chat. There are also news items and such to comment on. And, of course, you have a profile you can create, like in Yahoo or Blogger. I have info in the profile (used to, not now) that I was a SAHM of two boys with Autism.

Needless to say, when I commented on a few news items (one of them about children with disabilities, another about a girl with autism) people commented back in not-so-nice ways. There are people out there in the real world, who don't matter a hill-of-beans to me, that think they know the answer to EVERY problem, that their opinions are the only ones that matter, that they have the answer for everything, yada, yada, yada. You know the type. Immature, short sighted, Black-and-White, still live with their parents and sit in front of their computers all day?

And, these same people make assumptions based on the fact that; 1) I am a stay-at-home mom so I must be __________(fill in your answer here). and 2) My kids have autism, so I must be blaming the gov't and mercury contamination, I shove my kids out the door all day so I don't have to do anything but sit on my butt and eat bon-bons (which I don't even like) and watch Soap Operas (which I don't like) and the reason they act the way they do is because I don't pay any attention to them and I really just need to parent them. You know. 'Cause these people have no kids and they can tell me that stuff!

Now, there are people out there like that. I ain't one of 'em. Y'all know that. There was a gal in our group a while back who at the time had no kids (because of choice, would cramp her style, you see) and never passed up an opportunity to tell us that when she had kids they wouldn't DREAM of disobeying her, when she had kids she'd NEVER parent that way, they'd never watch tv, blah, blah, blah. She was a piece of work to begin with, so this mind set did not surprise me. Basically she thought that everything she did was God's gift to mankind. I didn't know her well personally, but trust me, I didn't want to get to know her, just based on the types of e-mails she sent. You know?

I digress. I think you get my drift. I don't care about these people, I don't know them. The people I care about I see and talk to and I take their opinions into consideration. They know me (even the ones without kids) and care about me. I listen to them.

Cyberspace is a funky place

The world is your oyster and the information highway (which Al Gore apparently created) is an ocean full of wonders. With a simple Google search and the click of the mouse one can find people all across the globe sharing similar backgrounds and stories. I have "met" some fairly interesting people, have stumbled upon some fantastically entertaining Web sites and have found my soul sisters at Flylady. At a time when I was a house-bound SAHM with mono, depression and two kids with special needs I found an outlet and a group of friends. And I am glad I did because I don't know where I'd be today.

I need funky toys and stuff for my boys and their therapies. Where do I go? E-bay. I need to find out who that actor was in the latest B-movie. Imdb, of course! Can't find that no-longer-manufactured cleaning product? Google it, and you can buy a case that will last a long time. Amazon.com, blogger, flylady, the list goes on. Without the internet things would be much simpler. Which may or may not be a good thing.

Unfortunately the internets also bring all of the scary people in the world to the surface. You might think you are totally anonymous when you sign into such-and-such a Web site, but you'd be surprised at how easily strangers can fund you. You make a comment or contribution on a site and they can find your blog, your E-mail, you name it. I have had people in cyberspace tell me I am worthless, a loser, a no-talent hack, a biatch, a c-word, a bad parent and an attention whore. And yet I started out with the simplest of notions, just to contact people. Just to find someone out there like me, who appreciates a decent "conversation" or someone who can answer questions or provide information when I haven't a clue what I am doing with my kids.

Blogs, forums, sites are fun. So is shopping. But some people out there take themselves WAYYYYYY too seriously. I mean, it is the internet. It ain't real, folks. You're staring at a machine! Emotions and facial expressions don't transmit unless you have a Web cam. That is why it is important not to believe everything you read, not to take anything too seriously and not to expose too much of yourself if you can't take harsh comments and criticism from folks you don't know about subjects you hold near and dear.

So, while I kinda keep this blog so other people read it and understand where I am coming from, part of me keeps it as a diary. Something out there to reflect on. But I don't think of it as anything more. I am not trying to write the next great novel, I don't care if I have fans and I am not just saying things to get people to read it. I am just being me.

And for those of you out there who don't have nice things to say, there is always the delete button. I have enough crap in my life, thankyouverymuch!

Wordless Wednesday

Your moment of zen, A morph of Gene and Jean Simmons:

When life hands you lemons

We are making gallons of lemonade in our humble abode. Or, limeade, as Darling likes to jest. He has a very dry sense of humor. When life hands you lemons, he says, "Make limeade." Ha. Ha. Ha.

I think last week I was having major hormonal surges. This has been known to happen from time to time. Or from month to month, if you get my drift. I hate to blame it on that, but it is almost like I am viewing a movie from the inside and I am out of my body. Difficult to explain, but it is true. Every thought that comes out of my head, every word that comes out of my mouth, every action I take is purely out of my control. When I was a kid they said I had a problem with self control. These days they call it ADD and prescribe Ritalin. Except I am an adult and I am supposed to know better!

Bug Boy has been off for three days now. Camp ended last week and he is enjoying being lazy around the house, having unstructured time and eating hot lunches (his ONLY complaint about camp was that he had to eat a cold lunch!). I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, because when Bug Boy has unstructured time he tends to lose control and melt down. He has had two or three meltdowns this week, which is a huge improvement over the up to ten a day he had before camp! I'll take it and run! WOOHOO! Camp truly was a gift for our family, we are all so much happier!

Yesterday Bug Boy wanted to play with CP next door. CP is the little boy (seven) who lives next to us. CP also has two sisters, 6 and 5. They are all around Luke's age and he likes playing with all three, but mostly CP. So, I coached him on what to say, since it was his first time "knocking up" for the kid next door. He was anxious about knowing what to do. In the past we usually just wait until they come out to ask them to come over, or they see us outside and invite us to play.

Me: Ok Bug Boy, you are going to go over and knock on the door. Hard enough so they can hear you. And when S. opens the door, you ask in your best manners, "Can CP please come over to play for a little while? My mom says it is ok!"

Bug Boy: Ok. I will say, "Chris! Come play! But not MP or KP because they fight with each other and it hurts my ears, so I only want CP to play! Just CP, not MP or KP! "

Me: Well, that might hurt their feelings if you say it like that. How would you feel if they came over and did that? If they said, "We only want to play with Bugaboo, not you, Bug Boy!"

Bug Boy: I wouldn't like that! That is NOT nice! That makes me angry!

Me: Ok, then I want you to ask, "Could CP please come out to play?" And if they girls ask, tell them that mommy said that when their mommy gets home we can all go out in the backyard together and play a game.

Bug Boy: Ok! Got it!

So, I peek out the door, watch Bug Boy climb the steps with apprehension, and wait for their door to open. He rang the doorbell, which doesn't work, so I told him to knock as hard as he could.

tap.tap.tap.

Me: Louder!

TAP.TAP.

They answer the door (all three kids, the babysitter and the two dogs!) and Bug Boy blurts out, "I need Chris to come out to play, not the girls, just Chris. My mom said so."

Oh dear.

So, we have a teensy bit of work to do on the social interaction. But at least he went over and knocked by himself, which he normally refuses to do. Social stories are really coming in handy, with Bug Boy, we just need to do more coaching.

Crazy weekend

We made extremely last minute plans to head to the shore this weekend to visit Darling's sister and her family. It was a lovely low-stress weekend (besides the fact that Bugaboo cried nearly the whole time). The only problem is that I forgot I had responded to go to a few social events and TOTALLY screwed up. I was sitting on the beach thinking about absotively NOTHING (for a change) and watching the boys laugh and play and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh sh.... I hate it when I do that! I have a calendar for crying out loud! You'd think I'd consult it once in a while!

I mean, I generally look at it in the beginning of the week. I used to check it every morning but this summer I have gotten off track and lazy. I haven't done much of anything around the house other than the basics. I have gone out to breakfast, done laundry, gone to the Y to workout and have taken many naps. Basically, I did whatever the heck I wanted. And it felt great.

Now is the time to get my butt in gear and get back to work. Bug Boy is finished camp and Bugaboo will be finished with school Thursday. If I don't get back to the routines the next three weeks will be hell for me. They don't do well with spontaneity. Neither do I, come to think of it. I tend to get anxious when there are too many unknowns. I like to know what is going on and I absotively HATE surprises.

I did end up with a sand rash and bad sunburn from this weekend. I put sunblock on several times but missed one area on my shoulder. So it is burnt to a crisp and it huuuurrrtttsss. I can't sit back or get comfy in bed. And the rash around my bikini area is excruciating. It happens every time I go to the beach. Those little sand flies are awful. And after I went to bed early and told Darling how I was feeling he tried to proposition me for knowing each other in the biblical sense. I mean, HUHLOOOO!!!!! Yeah, I can't have anything touch my back or bikini area. Let's just jump in bed and get jiggy with it, shall we? I mean, poor guy has gone like four days without it, don't you feel sorry for him?

Sorry about that tangent. Not something I usually discuss in public but it has been on my mind. He doesn't talk to me for days at a time (not a big conversationalist) and expects me to just turn on and off like a light switch. Let's just say he needs a little work in the foreplay department.