Random Acts

I do not usually get on my political soapbox because I believe that one should never discuss religion and politics in polite company. I know that my viewpoint differs from others and I have the right to express myself but I choose not to get into these discussions for a variety of reasons. One of them is that people tend to be defensive when they are not expecting such a conversation and it never turns out well. Another is that I am an opinionated, talkative and expression fool. I prefer not to get all "Irish" on people. Hard when you have my hair color.

Today, however, I feel moved to discuss something that I have thought about for years. Are you ready? GUN CONTROL. Yes, even this girl, the daughter and niece of avid hunters, the sister of a cop, now sees the need for SOME KIND of reform. The disturbing part is I feel very strongly that at this point it may be moot, for we have traveled so far down the path of gun violence I often wonder if there is any way to reverse it. Guns have simply gotten out of hand.

I try not to watch the news anymore for that reason. As a mother, I cannot stand to hear that someone's child has been gunned down sitting in the back of her mother's car on her way home from school. Or that our city is rather proudly boasting that the two hundred ninety-fifth victim of gun violence was killed this weekend. Even worse is hearing about these CLEARLY DISTURBED individuals who walk into schools you know, the place where our kids are supposed to learn in a safe environment?), and assault CHILDREN. And often times there is speculation as to why these people can do such awful things but generally the reason dies with them when they complete the most cowardly act of all, suicide.

Now, don't jump on me about my opinion. They are cowards for killing those innocent children and then turning the gun on themselves. I hate hearing afterwards that they were depressed or seemed moody and isolated for a few days before. I cannot believe that no one around them noticed or realized that they were stock-piling weapons and being weird at work or school. I often think that people are afraid of a "loose cannon" and just do not want to be involved. And I can understand that because we have one of these potential people in our family.

It is scary to think that someone in your family is disturbed to the point that they would commit a violent act. My husband and I live in fear everyday that we will finally get that phone call saying that his father succumbed to his demons and acted out. He is Bi-Polar, Obsessive-Compulsive and apparently paranoid. He has been in and out of our lives several times, blaming us for each break-down in communication. He is off of his medication and acting erratically and it scares us. And no matter what anyone in his family says he refuses to listen. He thinks he is invincible. The worst part is that unless he does something to harm himself or others he will get no help. We cannot force someone into a rehabilitation if they do not care to partake in it.

Never mind that he dressed up like Santa a few years ago and showed up at the local farmers market and handed out candy canes without permission. The cops thought it was weird and tried to ask him to leave. Instead of showing the police man his ID and leaving when asked, he took off, made himself look more suspicious and then HIT THE COP WITH HIS CAR when he tried to flee. And he spent two weeks over Christmas in jail, refused to have a psych eval and ended up in a community service agreement which expunged his record. We all would have rathered he did jail time so that he could finally be forced to be evaluated.

A few years before the santa incident (that was in USA today, local papers and on CNN!) he was fired for trashing a laboratory at his former employer. Instead of calling the police they fired him on the spot and threatened him that they would pursue a case if he ever tried to get anything out of them or contact them. He got away with it.

When he was physically abusing my mother-in-law in front of their two and four-year-old children she was told NOT to call the cops since no one thought it appropriate to air their dirty laundry. So she moved out and left him there instead.

Basically he has been a loose cannon his whole life. We know he was a victim of something as a child but never found out the details. And because no one has ever stood up to him and everyone has danced around him his entire life he now has a complex. He thinks he can get away with it, or it is someone else's fault or they will clean up the mess. And he was fired from his latest job a few months ago for doing similar things. They never pursued pressing charges and once again he got away with it. There is so much anger inside of him that it will eventually blow.

So, every time I hear about these violent acts I pray that it is not his name they mention in the story. I also pray that he will allow his family back into his life so they can help him. I pray that he will once again take medication and realize that he cannot live without it. And I feel helpless that there is nothing we can do and that the system doesn't allow for us to do anything legally. Trust me, his soon-to-be-ex and his children have explored many avenues. Nothing. All we can do is wait and hope and pray.