We have an answer!

Two weeks ago Bugaboo had an EEG (24 hour hospital stay, loads of fun!). Yesterday the Neurologist called us with the results and it was very interesting news. We aren't sure if we should be happy or worried but we feel so much relief. Relief because we finally have an answer to the question that has been plaguing us for months: Why is Bugaboo heading down hill with his skills and behavior and is there anythign we can do to stop it?

The Neurologist (who could have spent 5 minutes on the phone with me, giving me a diagnosis and a prescription) actually talked to me for over forty-five minutes explaining exactly what they were looking for, what they found, which areas of the brain are affected, what it causes and how to treat it. He was very thorough and patient and answered all of my questions. He was also very supportive and calmed my fears. So this is what he said (very abridged version!):

Ian currently has "multiple abnormal misifirings" of the brain in his frontal and temporal lobes. In other words, he is having tons of teeny seizures all day long, every day. Like, possible one hundred or more a day, and that was just the day they did the EEG. And they have no idea how much damage these little seizures have done or how long he has had them. We know it has been at least a year judging by the behavioral changes we have seen in him.

Now, this is sort of good news. It can be controlled with meds. We will have to monitor him monthly to be certain the meds don't do damage to his liver or kidneys. But he has to start meds before it does more damage and turns into epilepsy, which would be much more difficult to control. Once the medication levels are attained and they feel the seizures are stopping, it is a matter of time to see how he rebounds, if he rebounds or if we see any improvement in his behavior.

The doctor feels that most of his behaviors can be attributed to the seizures. The poor kid has auras and headaches constantly. That is why he is banging his head on the couch, biting his hand, having temper tantrums and mood swings, running around like a spinning top and spacing out so much. He also is having short-term memory problems and committing things to long term memory (since much of the time he can't remember five minutes ago!). He can't remember eating a few minutes after he does it so he asks for more. He can't remember he just polished off a full cup of juice. He can't remember that he learned how to drink out of a straw. At the playground he tends to find a circle and stick to it, like going down the slide, walking in a circle and then going back down the slide again. And he will do that for an hour if no one interrupts him or until he snaps out of it. It is a bizarre thing to watch.

We are very hopeful that once things are under control we will see the real Bugaboo emerge. We have felt so strongly that there just isn't something right about our son, that he is in there somewhere. And we were right. The doctor said all along that he didn't feel Ian has the severe autism we thought he had, he kept looking for something else when everyone else blamed it on autism. I'd like to kiss that doctor (but he is married and so am I! But he is really cute!). So now we wait to see what happens. They expect significant changes and we pray for them. There is even a good chance he may regain some speech! If only!

Stay tuned, I will update with more info later...

Oh Husband, wherefore art thou?

Darling works very hard to provide all that we need around here. He has a decent job with awesome pay and amazing benefits. Except when it comes to therapy for autism-related services, but I digress. Darling typically leaves at 7 am and returns home about 5 or so. Not too shabby.

Recently his job has gone through some major restructuring. They changed the name of his department and are now under a slightly different umbrella, although owned by the same parent company, J&J. He still works in the same building at the same desk, with the same people, but with a different E-mail address and a different business card. It is a little strange.

Since the "reorganization" occurred it became apparent that layoffs were imminent and outsourcing was in the near future. He had been working on it for five years and had no idea. He also slowly climbed the ladder into management by that time. And recently when the restructuring commenced, the management was squashed sort of horizontally and vertically, meaning that the five managers became three (and he had to reapply for his OWN JOB) and the associate directors were also cut down, some directors above that were removed entirely and the main director given more responsibility. Still with me? Basically they were trying to give more responsibility to less people for more accountability less pay and more stress. Ha.

Darling retained his position. No, he did better than that, he received yet another promotion, bringing him over three figures. His promotion was more money than I could get back at teaching. But the extra money comes at a price.

Darling is now gone from 7 to 7 at minimum. His laptop comes home with him seven days a week. Most evenings and a good part of the weekend is spent with his laptop out, snapping at the kids for bothering him, with me getting absolutely no break from the kids. The household chores are piling up and we are stressed out and exhausted. Add in the extra stress of two very active boys with special needs and we are about at the end of our proverbial ropes. It is making for a difficult time at Chez Happy Family.

And, if you thought things were at their worst for us, add in Bugaboo's newer health and feeding issues, Darling's recent return to depression, Bug Boy's newly reformed bathrooming difficulties and anxiety and momma's lack of sleep and there is a (metaphorically speaking) time bomb about to go off.

I know it is only a matter of time before things crash and come to a grinding halt. It will happen, I am bracing myself for it. The only way things will change around here is if it all explodes. For some reason we tend to be on the dramatic side and need the drama in our lives. It will, believe it or not, make things better around here. It happens every year at this time. Darling has some issues from childhood that I SWARE have everything to do with it. Swear, too.

I almost want to toss our vacation out the window and just stay home and focus on getting walls painted, sleeping in, getting the kids ready for school. But I think Darling needs to go to the camp to get back to nature and simplify his life. No TV or phone. No cable modem. No washer and dryer, no dishwasher. Dirt roads, no traffic, creamery ice cream. YUM! A few days of that and he will be much more capable of dealing with the day-to-day grind. Either that or he will start looking for jobs up there (again) and driving us around to look at houses in the area.

Weekends are too short

This weekend was one of the most relaxing on record. Evar.

I barely did a thing. This new self-imposed laziness of mine is turning out quite nicely. I keep up with a few basic routines and make sure everyone is fed and the house is picked up and that is the extent of my housework. It isn't horrible around here, but it isn't great either.

Darling is on vacation starting this Friday at 5 pm. I can't wait! We plan on getting some painting done and then going to the camp for a few days. We shall see. I kinda don't want to go to the camp at all, but he insists. Maybe I will send him up with Bug Boy by himself for a few days. I just wanna stay here (with Bugaboo) and do nothing.

Saturday I stayed in Jammies for hours and then finally got ready to go to a BBQ. Darling stayed home with Bugaboo and I took Bug Boy with me. Since Bugaboo is a bit off (to say the least) we felt it was a bad idea to drag him to a BBQ. I am glad I went without him, he would not have been happy! No fence to contain him and a beautiful house that looked like a museum. Not the place for him. He has also been up quite a bit the past few nights with what we think are night terrors. Not fun. Little sleep for Momma!

Saturday Dear Sister (Dino Boy's Mommy) invited us to the pool. Darling was going to stay home but decided he was taking the day off from housework, too. So we all went to the pool for a few hours and it was heavenly. We had a nice lunch, the kids had a blast and I actually sat down for a while. Fences! WOOHOO! Bugaboo can do his thing. Of course, he did try to climb over it a few times and was vigilant in case someone forgot to close the gate. After the pool we headed to dear sister's to cookout. Darling helped her Darling put light kits on a few ceiling fans. We had a nice simple dinner and ate outside, it was breezy and warm. Nice!

We headed home last evening and the boys were still awake when we arrived home, surprise! They usually doze off after swimming. We fed Bugaboo again and tried to put him to bed, to no avail. Darling had to take him for a ride to get him to doze off.

I was able to go to bed before nine. Why did I have so much trouble falling asleep when I was going on eight hours total for the entire weekend? GRRRR!!!! But, i still had a decent night's sleep.

This morning I headed to the gym, the boys went to the child watch room. Bugaboo isn't too fond of it, he made it about 45 minutes. I still got a good workout in, but didn't completely finish it. I may have to get a sitter for him this week to go again!

Ok, time to shower. I stink. Good thing that blogs don't contain smells.

Several replies

A few people have e-mailed and commented that they want to know what happened in cyberspace that would provoke me to post the entry I posted yesterday in my blog. Without going into gory, horrific detail, here is the shortest version:

I belong to a few forums (online chat-type things). I also belong to two newsgroups, kinda like Flylady where you get e-mail type things or can just read them online. The forum pages are set up more like chat. There are also news items and such to comment on. And, of course, you have a profile you can create, like in Yahoo or Blogger. I have info in the profile (used to, not now) that I was a SAHM of two boys with Autism.

Needless to say, when I commented on a few news items (one of them about children with disabilities, another about a girl with autism) people commented back in not-so-nice ways. There are people out there in the real world, who don't matter a hill-of-beans to me, that think they know the answer to EVERY problem, that their opinions are the only ones that matter, that they have the answer for everything, yada, yada, yada. You know the type. Immature, short sighted, Black-and-White, still live with their parents and sit in front of their computers all day?

And, these same people make assumptions based on the fact that; 1) I am a stay-at-home mom so I must be __________(fill in your answer here). and 2) My kids have autism, so I must be blaming the gov't and mercury contamination, I shove my kids out the door all day so I don't have to do anything but sit on my butt and eat bon-bons (which I don't even like) and watch Soap Operas (which I don't like) and the reason they act the way they do is because I don't pay any attention to them and I really just need to parent them. You know. 'Cause these people have no kids and they can tell me that stuff!

Now, there are people out there like that. I ain't one of 'em. Y'all know that. There was a gal in our group a while back who at the time had no kids (because of choice, would cramp her style, you see) and never passed up an opportunity to tell us that when she had kids they wouldn't DREAM of disobeying her, when she had kids she'd NEVER parent that way, they'd never watch tv, blah, blah, blah. She was a piece of work to begin with, so this mind set did not surprise me. Basically she thought that everything she did was God's gift to mankind. I didn't know her well personally, but trust me, I didn't want to get to know her, just based on the types of e-mails she sent. You know?

I digress. I think you get my drift. I don't care about these people, I don't know them. The people I care about I see and talk to and I take their opinions into consideration. They know me (even the ones without kids) and care about me. I listen to them.

Cyberspace is a funky place

The world is your oyster and the information highway (which Al Gore apparently created) is an ocean full of wonders. With a simple Google search and the click of the mouse one can find people all across the globe sharing similar backgrounds and stories. I have "met" some fairly interesting people, have stumbled upon some fantastically entertaining Web sites and have found my soul sisters at Flylady. At a time when I was a house-bound SAHM with mono, depression and two kids with special needs I found an outlet and a group of friends. And I am glad I did because I don't know where I'd be today.

I need funky toys and stuff for my boys and their therapies. Where do I go? E-bay. I need to find out who that actor was in the latest B-movie. Imdb, of course! Can't find that no-longer-manufactured cleaning product? Google it, and you can buy a case that will last a long time. Amazon.com, blogger, flylady, the list goes on. Without the internet things would be much simpler. Which may or may not be a good thing.

Unfortunately the internets also bring all of the scary people in the world to the surface. You might think you are totally anonymous when you sign into such-and-such a Web site, but you'd be surprised at how easily strangers can fund you. You make a comment or contribution on a site and they can find your blog, your E-mail, you name it. I have had people in cyberspace tell me I am worthless, a loser, a no-talent hack, a biatch, a c-word, a bad parent and an attention whore. And yet I started out with the simplest of notions, just to contact people. Just to find someone out there like me, who appreciates a decent "conversation" or someone who can answer questions or provide information when I haven't a clue what I am doing with my kids.

Blogs, forums, sites are fun. So is shopping. But some people out there take themselves WAYYYYYY too seriously. I mean, it is the internet. It ain't real, folks. You're staring at a machine! Emotions and facial expressions don't transmit unless you have a Web cam. That is why it is important not to believe everything you read, not to take anything too seriously and not to expose too much of yourself if you can't take harsh comments and criticism from folks you don't know about subjects you hold near and dear.

So, while I kinda keep this blog so other people read it and understand where I am coming from, part of me keeps it as a diary. Something out there to reflect on. But I don't think of it as anything more. I am not trying to write the next great novel, I don't care if I have fans and I am not just saying things to get people to read it. I am just being me.

And for those of you out there who don't have nice things to say, there is always the delete button. I have enough crap in my life, thankyouverymuch!

Wordless Wednesday

Your moment of zen, A morph of Gene and Jean Simmons:

When life hands you lemons

We are making gallons of lemonade in our humble abode. Or, limeade, as Darling likes to jest. He has a very dry sense of humor. When life hands you lemons, he says, "Make limeade." Ha. Ha. Ha.

I think last week I was having major hormonal surges. This has been known to happen from time to time. Or from month to month, if you get my drift. I hate to blame it on that, but it is almost like I am viewing a movie from the inside and I am out of my body. Difficult to explain, but it is true. Every thought that comes out of my head, every word that comes out of my mouth, every action I take is purely out of my control. When I was a kid they said I had a problem with self control. These days they call it ADD and prescribe Ritalin. Except I am an adult and I am supposed to know better!

Bug Boy has been off for three days now. Camp ended last week and he is enjoying being lazy around the house, having unstructured time and eating hot lunches (his ONLY complaint about camp was that he had to eat a cold lunch!). I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, because when Bug Boy has unstructured time he tends to lose control and melt down. He has had two or three meltdowns this week, which is a huge improvement over the up to ten a day he had before camp! I'll take it and run! WOOHOO! Camp truly was a gift for our family, we are all so much happier!

Yesterday Bug Boy wanted to play with CP next door. CP is the little boy (seven) who lives next to us. CP also has two sisters, 6 and 5. They are all around Luke's age and he likes playing with all three, but mostly CP. So, I coached him on what to say, since it was his first time "knocking up" for the kid next door. He was anxious about knowing what to do. In the past we usually just wait until they come out to ask them to come over, or they see us outside and invite us to play.

Me: Ok Bug Boy, you are going to go over and knock on the door. Hard enough so they can hear you. And when S. opens the door, you ask in your best manners, "Can CP please come over to play for a little while? My mom says it is ok!"

Bug Boy: Ok. I will say, "Chris! Come play! But not MP or KP because they fight with each other and it hurts my ears, so I only want CP to play! Just CP, not MP or KP! "

Me: Well, that might hurt their feelings if you say it like that. How would you feel if they came over and did that? If they said, "We only want to play with Bugaboo, not you, Bug Boy!"

Bug Boy: I wouldn't like that! That is NOT nice! That makes me angry!

Me: Ok, then I want you to ask, "Could CP please come out to play?" And if they girls ask, tell them that mommy said that when their mommy gets home we can all go out in the backyard together and play a game.

Bug Boy: Ok! Got it!

So, I peek out the door, watch Bug Boy climb the steps with apprehension, and wait for their door to open. He rang the doorbell, which doesn't work, so I told him to knock as hard as he could.

tap.tap.tap.

Me: Louder!

TAP.TAP.

They answer the door (all three kids, the babysitter and the two dogs!) and Bug Boy blurts out, "I need Chris to come out to play, not the girls, just Chris. My mom said so."

Oh dear.

So, we have a teensy bit of work to do on the social interaction. But at least he went over and knocked by himself, which he normally refuses to do. Social stories are really coming in handy, with Bug Boy, we just need to do more coaching.

Crazy weekend

We made extremely last minute plans to head to the shore this weekend to visit Darling's sister and her family. It was a lovely low-stress weekend (besides the fact that Bugaboo cried nearly the whole time). The only problem is that I forgot I had responded to go to a few social events and TOTALLY screwed up. I was sitting on the beach thinking about absotively NOTHING (for a change) and watching the boys laugh and play and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh sh.... I hate it when I do that! I have a calendar for crying out loud! You'd think I'd consult it once in a while!

I mean, I generally look at it in the beginning of the week. I used to check it every morning but this summer I have gotten off track and lazy. I haven't done much of anything around the house other than the basics. I have gone out to breakfast, done laundry, gone to the Y to workout and have taken many naps. Basically, I did whatever the heck I wanted. And it felt great.

Now is the time to get my butt in gear and get back to work. Bug Boy is finished camp and Bugaboo will be finished with school Thursday. If I don't get back to the routines the next three weeks will be hell for me. They don't do well with spontaneity. Neither do I, come to think of it. I tend to get anxious when there are too many unknowns. I like to know what is going on and I absotively HATE surprises.

I did end up with a sand rash and bad sunburn from this weekend. I put sunblock on several times but missed one area on my shoulder. So it is burnt to a crisp and it huuuurrrtttsss. I can't sit back or get comfy in bed. And the rash around my bikini area is excruciating. It happens every time I go to the beach. Those little sand flies are awful. And after I went to bed early and told Darling how I was feeling he tried to proposition me for knowing each other in the biblical sense. I mean, HUHLOOOO!!!!! Yeah, I can't have anything touch my back or bikini area. Let's just jump in bed and get jiggy with it, shall we? I mean, poor guy has gone like four days without it, don't you feel sorry for him?

Sorry about that tangent. Not something I usually discuss in public but it has been on my mind. He doesn't talk to me for days at a time (not a big conversationalist) and expects me to just turn on and off like a light switch. Let's just say he needs a little work in the foreplay department.

Roller Coaster

You know that movie, Parenthood? The one with Steve Martin, etal, about how life is like a roller coaster with a series of ups and downs? Yup, I get it now. Up, down, up, down. It seems like we get more of our fair share around here!

This week was difficult for us. Ian wasn't feeling well, then Luke had some bowel issues (a common side effect of his anxiety). Darling had a stressful couple of weeks at work. Ever since his promotion a few weeks ago (more money, but increased hours) he has been moody, distant and generally miserable and unavailable. It all came to a head on Wednesday.

Darling heard yet another "scare the pants off of parents" report about Autism on the radio so he called me in a tizzy as soon as he got in. Mind you, it was less than ten minutes before the kids had to be on the bus to go to camp for the day. I was running around like a chicken with no head. Darling started in on how he has had it at work, he wants me to look into new schools for Bugaboo, we need to move, yadda, yadda, yadda. Talk about ripping the carpet out from under out feet! I mean, we just got settled here, the kids are FINALLY happy, finally getting the services they need, and he wants to MOVE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND???? Needless to say, the conversation did not go well. When he arrived home that evening, we ate dinner in stoney silence and you could cut the tension with a knife. We put the boys to bed and talked.

Darling is under pressure at work, but what we finally arrived at (after many questions) is that he is depressed. He did not say he was depressed, but after he told me how he doesn't understand why he is happy, he doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning, he has so much to be thankful for and can't even appreciate it, it all made sense. Then the real truth came out. My husband has been strangely calm and accepting about the boys and their diagnoses. It finally hit him. Our kids have some significant challenges. Yes, they can reach their potential with work, work, WORK. But I think it finally dawned on him that there is a chance Ian may never talk. There is a chance that he won't live independently. And while I want to believe that he will be a functioning adult, we have to be prepared for the alternative. So Darling was stressing about it.

It is very frustrating that our beautiful gift-from-God cannot speak. He refuses to communicate. He has good affect with us and is loving and affectionate. He even plays little "tricks" or "jokes" on us, and smiles and laughs. A more pleasant child I have never met. But we've never heard his voice call us "mama" or "Dada". He has never said "I love you." He hasn't sung his ABCs. He barely eats, holds his ears in public when there is crowd noise and screeches in places with high ceilings to hear his voice echo. We wonder if we will ever know what it is like to see him write his name or to play a board game with him. We don't know if he will ever learn to ride his bike. The majority of children with his type of autism are pretty much written off by society, viewed as a drain. Treated like caged monkeys in low-paying, low-functioning jobs. Expected to become janitors or dishwashers.

We want so much more for him, not because of the lack of prestige in those positions, but because we know how intelligent he is. We know he has a smile that lights up the room and causes little old ladies to comment on what a beautiful little boy he is. We know that he is motivated, strong-willed and energetic. We know how much he can focus when he really wants to, playing with something for over two hours. I've never seen another little boy play with things the way he does.

I keep praying for all of this to be revealed to me. I want to know what I am supposed to be doing. I need to know how I can help him, I am being as patient as I can possibly be. I know the answers will come soon but at the same time I am exhausted from playing damage control around here. There are days where I feel like the luckiest woman alive, with two beautiful and happy boys, a fabulous husband who works twelve hour days so I can stay home with my boys, a cozy home and a spoiled doggie. I'm just waiting for the next "up" on the roller coaster, we sure could use it!

(Please don't view this as a "feeling sorry for myself" post, for I certainly do not feel sorry for myself. I know no other life, this is all NORMAL for me. It is just difficult to see other children the same age as mine who are doing so much more...)

Bug Boy is at it again

Bug Boy has always been a bit precocious. We used to refer to him as Rain Man, which we no longer do, since he has a diagnosis on the spectrum (self-fulfilling prophesy?). Anywho, he can say some very interesting things. The kid is a tape recorder, you really need to watch what you say around him.
Most of the time, I have to say, we tend to tune him out after the first 20 minutes of incessant chatter. You know, the "uh huh, uh huh" thing? He is learning to be very creative and comes up with things off the top of his head that keeps us in stitches. Except when we laugh at him he gets angry, so we usually bite our tongues. Lately he has been carrying around little pieces of paper with Roman Numerals on them. Not for him to refer to (because he has them memorized. Yes, at five years of age) but to show other people, in case you haven't heard of them. He sneaks them into his pockets for sleep-overs with his cousins or in the morning when he is getting ready to go to camp. The other night I mentioned "Numero Uno" and he said,"Did you say Roman Numerals?" and proceeded to pull them out of his pocket. In the car. On the way to the pool.
Yesterday takes the cake. Since he has what is termed a social delay, we are doing everything in our capabilities to encourage and foster emotional growth. One of his therapists suggested a doll house, with dolls to represent mommy, daddy and the boys. He loved the idea! He set it up in his room, almost like a shrine. And there it say for two weeks, until I sent him to his room to straighten up. "Surprise me!" I said. He LOVES to surprise us by cleaning up or getting dressed without being asked. Ten minutes later it was very quiet up there. I could hear him having a dialogue with the dolls. I only heard snippets, but it sounded like he had the dolls interacting and the parents were asking the kids to use their manners. Sounds like it is working! The next thing I hear is THUD! THUD! THUD! And then a series of loud noises that sounded like his bookcases were falling over. The dollhouse is set up in a bookcase (stole the idea from IKEA). We went running upstairs thinking he was hurt from climbing bookcases (forbidden to do it, but still is tempted). He was sitting on the floor smiling at the chaotic mess of dolls and furniture and little rugs and such. We asked him what happened (rather breathlessly, from running upstairs to quickly) and his calm reply was, "Well, the house blew up! And so do everyone inside." Uh. This kid has issues.

Frustrated!

I had a very long post to put here. Spent about an hour on it, wrote and rewrote. Talked about Bugaboo and his medical probs and his procedure Tuesday. Then Blogger ate it. WAAAHHHH!!!!

SO, when I have the patience, I will try it again. In the meantime, go have a cookie.

Where the &@#* have you been?

I know, I haven't' been keeping up. There are good reasons.

The boys (and Darling, and the dog) are running me ragged and my brain has turned to mush.

Most days instead of concentrating on getting on the computer, getting my housework done, taking a shower, etc, I am camping out on the couch, going back to bed, and struggling through errands. I am just unmotivated, exhausted and drained. I took a look at my diet, it is in decent shape, minus the three milkshakes I had last week.

I have been hitting the gym two days a week, wish it were more, but I am at least doing that. And the other day, I got a heckuva workout racing my niece across the pool (she swam, I just did arms, and she still beat me!).

I think what is going on is the midsummer night's slump. I hit this point every summer. Once Fourth-of-July runs around, I am done. I want it to be fall, cooler temps, jacket weather. I cannot stand the heat. And, this is coming from the girl who used to HATE air conditioning, and slept in a room with a fan when Darling used to go into the middle bedroom and sleep with a window AC, before our central air was installed in the old house.

I need leaves falling off of the trees, the smell of damp and decaying foliage. I need cool breezes and chilly nights, and daylight savings time. I need my anniversary (hubba hubba!) and our birthdays, football (yes, I said football, am I crazy for saying that?) and hockey. The time of year when we spend every waking moment outside, and start looking for good sales on ski stuff. We are soooo going this year!

So, I only have about two months to go. Who knew Seasonal Affective Disorder could hit in the summer?

Our fifth visit to the ER

Since Memorial Day I have been to the ER five times with three different children. It is the same Emergency Room that we visit each time, duPont. They really do deliver excellent care and we see several specialists there for the boys' various needs.

This visit was much shorter than the others, thank goodness. We visited our favorite Home Improvement Store (begins with an 'L') and while I was in the restroom, Bug Boy decided to push Bugaboo's stroller. He whirled it around in circles, and just as I finished washing and drying my hands, I heard a sickening thud. Upon rushing out of the restroom, Bugaboo was winding up for a howl that could be heard in seven states. He had tipped forward and smacked his forehead on the concrete floor!

The staff was very accommodating and got us ice and helped us check him out. He seemed ok, but then 15 mins later he was groggy and fell asleep. It was his normal bedtime, but we wanted to make sure he was ok, so we went straight to the ER five minutes away. Lucky for us it was a slow night.

So, after four hours of observation Bugaboo was released and we went him, with a big ole knot on his head. The swelling has gone down considerably. We have to keep our eyes on him for a day or two, since this is his second (minor) concussion.

Egads! Not the way we expected to spend our day, but it could have been much worse. It is unbelievable how resilient children are, and how fragile at the same time.

Thursday Thirteen

Things I want to get done around the house!

1. Clean up around the yard - many miscellaneous things just hanging around that need to be put away or decluttered.
2. Cut back bushes that have taken over the yard
3. trim back the rose bush that has gone to town on the side of the yard
4. Hack the ugly bushes in front of the porch and get rid of 'em!
5. Pull out mulch, put dirt in flower beds and re-mulch with brown instead of red (next year, methinks)
6. Paint front door and shutters
7. Take down makeshift railing from previous owners and replace with a nicer one
8. Create new flower beds near corner of yard in front (around street sign), on kitchen side of house when you first walk into yard (outside of picture window, so I can watch the birds and butterflies) and on deck side of rear yard in corner where Lake Erie begins to form (to minimize the yard flooding)
9. Get rid of rock pile on side of house from when part of retaining wall was removed. Talk to the neighbor who wants the rocks and ask him to get them!
10. Remove small tree in side yard that is NOT doing well and is not growing. Is diseased and a type of tree we don't want in back yard.
11. Plant another tree on "old pool" side of backyard, away from sewer line (we'd like a copper beech or Sugar Maple, like our old house)
12. Call and get mulch prices and have them deliver play mulch for around swingset so that the sand stops getting tracked into the house!!!
13. Start harassing DH about deck plans, we have to rip down our structurally unsafe deck and want to replace it with a two-level deck, with the steps coming down towards the garage instead of the street. We have to call Uncle Pete in on this one!

Conversations with Bug Boy

Or, more accurately, listening to Bug Boy's one sided conversation!

Here is an excerpt from this morning:

Mommy: What do you want for breakfast, Bug Boy?

Bug Boy: I think I'd like a cheese bagel. I had a cheese bagel yesterday. Yesterday was Tuesday. And you know what today is? Wednesday. Yup, yesterday was Tuesday and the day before that was Monday. I was sick on Monday and Tuesday, but I am not sick today because it is Wednesday. I am going to camp today. I did not go to camp yesterday or Monday. Yup, I was sick and went to the doctor on Monday. And yesterday was Tuesday so I stayed home. Daddy stayed home yesterday. Daddy stays home on Saturdays and Sundays. Yesterday was NOT Saturday or Sunday. It was Tuesday. And Daddy stayed home. Today is Wednesday and I am going to camp and tomorrow is Thursday and then comes Friday. We go swimming at camp on Fridays and Mondays. But on Monday I stayed home and did not go to camp and did NOT swim. But I went to the doctor's...

Mommy: Uh huh...

Yes. He is feeling better. We know when he talks for 4 hours without a breath or a word in edge-wise that he is feeling better...

When Darling is home sick

Ok. If you called out sick from work and felt like total C-R-A-P would you still call in to attend meetings? I mean, dial in, sit and listen to droning voices for hours, all the while using the phone so no one can call us and hogging the computer?

If he is really sick, then he shouldn't be working from home. Take the sick day, get charged for it, and DON'T pick up the phone or turn on that computer!!! Just my two cents.

The other thing that bothers me (since I am on a roll and all) is that I feel like I can't operate at my normal speed because he kinda hovers and makes comments. Like, you have 5 hours a day, why can't you get X/Y/Z done? You have been sitting down for 15 mins, why don't you go do______ (insert insane request here). Like I can't read e-mail! Or take a shower! Or heaven forbid I watch tv while I fold clothes (which I can't do, since he is using the bed as our office at the moment). But, I showed him! I still cleaned the bathrooms! So PBLTT!!!!

Got that out of my system. Feel much better. I think tomorrow I am going to call the boss and call out sick. HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! They wouldn't know what to do!!!!

Purse update

I went back to Goodwill today. Someone decided to clean up the area where all of the purses were previously in a big heap. No L.E.I purse. But I did get two cute lightweight skirts (cotton!) for summer, and two tank tops. Still can't find a decent white one. I tried every store in PA.

I am going to order the LL Bean purse after lunch. I know, it is expensive. But I am worth it. And, Darling almost bought me the Fossil purse this weekend, and it cost more than the LL Bean Purse! So THERE!!!

Bug Boy's Tummy trouble

What started out as a fun weekend at his cousin's house became a very long night for Bug Boy. He slept over Dino Boy's house, went to the pool and had a marvelous time. But he had two accidents. You know, the trots? The skids? Do I have to spell it out for you? Ok, D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A. We thought perhaps it was from the ice cream he had the night before. This has happened before, and it is why he is now on a non-dairy diet.

He steadily progressed into full sick mode shortly after we picked him up and brought him home. He was miserable and tired and we thought nothing of it until the THIRD accident two hours after we arrived home. Then he started running a fever. He is not happy about it but I insisted he wear a pull-up. I am not cleaning up all of that underwear. And he wears boxers, so it would be even worse! He is five-years-old and not happy about it.

Since Bug Boy is guzzling fluids I know he is staying hydrated. He has a history of getting dehydrated very quickly and is super-sensitive to heat and cold extremes. And I don't mean he gets too hot. I mean he can get dehydrated in about two minutes. His little temperature system is terribly immature, and the doc is hoping he will grow out of it. I don't want to end up at the ER later, so Bug Boy is staying in today, whether he likes it or not. And the worst part is that he is missing swimming and riding therapy today! He is NOT a happy camper, literally!

Ok, the prince has beckoned. Time to wait on him hand and foot for the remainder of the day.

In search of the perfect purse

I have a purse problem. That is, I don't want to buy one. I have never been one to carry purses. I used a backpack in high school and college, and even when I worked I used a large messenger bag or backpack that held my lunch, books, keys, hairbrush, wallet and the like. It really wasn't a purse. If I had a purse it was more like a wallet on a string, teeny and light. And I forgot it or left it everywhere.

Flash forward a few years. Pregnancy happened, diaper bag/backpack (yes, I bought a baby backpack instead!) and then pregnancy happened again, this time Sis bought me the super-mega-hawesome L.L Bean Baby Backpack, room enough for stuff for two kids (and any incidentals, like my latest wallet on a string).

The kids were getting a little older and I was getting tired of carrying the diaper bag out on rare dates with my Darling or to the ladies room by myself. I felt like every woman in there was staring at me thinking I had rather large sanitary supplies in a bag that big. Or they were thinking, "Poor dear! She must have six kids with a diaper bag that big!"

Then the kids started school. Since I send Bugaboo to school with his own backpack it was no longer necessary for me to carry that large bag anymore. But the purse on a string didn't hold my keys, cell phone and any incidentals (like a small water bottle) and if I wanted to run out with the kids it didn't hold a diaper. I got outhouse lucky at Goodwill twice! Once I bought a cute black purse, kinda mini-messenger style, for $3. It lasted 6 months until I tore a hole in it. Then I found the most HAWESOME still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one for yet another $3 at Goodwill. It rocked! It fit a diaper or two, my now-extremely-necessary pocket calendar (for all of those appts for the boys) and a hairbrush and a travel pack of baby wipes. Life doesn't get better than that, folks!

Alas, a few weeks ago my "business bag" (as my sister jokes, since I tell her I refuse to carry a purse) got caught in the door after only a few months. The cell phone holder and change purse ripped. ACK!!!!

I am now on the hunt for a replacement. I basically want to find the exact same bag, and it does not exist. After scouring two Goodwill stores, every discount department store and even Tarzhay to no avail, I am beginning to lose faith that I will find a suitable replacement. I have rather strict criteria; no leather under any circumstance, must have a built-in wallet with little credit card holders and a change purse, cannot be bigger than the still-mini-messenger-bag-but-larger-than-the-first-one (or SMMBBLTTFO for those of you into abbreviations), must still be able to hold a diaper and wipes and has to wipe clean for the simple reason that I have two boys. 'Nuff said.

I have found at least forty versions of it in leather. My favorite is called the Rosetti organizer. It is one awesome purse. I have done online searches for it in a-material-other-than-vinyl but no such luck. I have found the perfect replacement at Goodwill, except for the fact that there was no strap on the bag, and thus no way to actually carry it. I have found the bag in a-material-other-than-leather in several stores, but adorned with rather garish fake jewels and beads or in camouflage. EWWWW!!!!!

But the best had to be this evening. I found the bag. I found twenty versions of the bag. In Strawbridges in Delaware, which meant NO TAX. Then I saw the price tags. HAHAHAHAHHA! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that tag said $65! Oh, it did? Uh....HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That was a good laugh. But even funnier was when I noticed the pretty little purses in the glass with D&B all over them and the ones with the interlocking Cs and then the ones chained to the purse stand...those all had price tags of $200 and up. And people REALLY pay that much for a purse? Egads. I am so out of style it ain't funny.

So, for the time being we are dealing with the ripped purse. It isn't noticeable to the untrained eye. And when I find a cheap replacement I will grab it.Hopefully at Goodwill. I really don't want to carry a purse...I mean, a business bag!

Updates, or, Why I haven't been keeping up with blogging

Life as of late has been like a whirling dervish. Up and down, round and round, can't tell if I am coming or going. And the weird thing is that the boys are in camp and I thought I'd have tons of time to do things, like sand drywall and paint. HA! As if! So this is what is keeping me busy:

Bugaboo's medical procedures. Got the results today: He has Esophagitis. Basically he has reflux, brought about by food allergies, which causes swelling of his esophagus. And it also causes stomach pain, diarrhea, mouth sores, heart burn, you name it. No wonder he doesn't want to eat! The poor kid is in miserable pain and his throat hurts all of the time. He also has tested positive for a wheat allergies. It isn't terrible severe, but it must be treated or else the stomach and bowel problems shall persist. I am relieved to get to the bottom of this FINALLY!!!

My visit with the Neurologist. We are trying to rule out a few conditions, namely; Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Over-worked-and-Stressed-Out-Mommy-Syndrome. With a family history of MS, FMS and CFS, the doc is being very thorough. I had a brain MRI with and without contrast. Now I have to follow up with a cervicle and thoracic MRI, with and without contrast. Since my last MRI was such a joyous event (N.O.T!) I am looking forward to it like a trip to Tar-zhay. At least I get another 45 minutes of uninterrupted time to recline.

Housework and errands. I have been trying to keep up with just daily routines, but important phone calls and appointments have left me a teensy bit behind. With out-of-town guests due to arrive for two days, I want to at least make sure the sheets and towels are clean and that no one will be tempted to write their name in the dust on the television.

Therapy for the boys. Just today we had Bugaboo's TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) start, the boys' Behavior Specialist was here and Bug Boy's Mobile Therapist came for his weekly visit. And this was after Bugaboo had school and camp, and Bug Boy went to camp. So it was a loooonnnggg busy day for both of them! No problems falling asleep tonight!

Sleep. Just kidding! Thought I'd throw that in there to see if y'all are paying attention! I haven't been getting much sleep due to Bugaboo's recent Night Terrors.

Migraines. See the visit to the Neuro above.

Everyday mundane tasks. You know, eating, breathing, showering. Since time is at a premium, I am being selective about how I spend my, ahem, leisure time. I have been trying to hit the Y in order to keep the body in shape. Weights are important for the above-mentioned conditions. And, I have developed a new obsession with the computer (like I need the computer to be MORE of a distraction!): Adobe Photoshop. Too much fun, and I am staying up past my bedtime.

Ok. My fifteen minutes are fare from over. If you don't know what I am talking about, click HERE.