Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Last night at OCB...

My friends had a good time socializing and yucking it up (and scarfing it down) while I alternated between running for the john and moaning on the couch.

I am going to take a wild guess at what the problem is.

The past few weeks I have been experiencing heartburn, pains in my side, problems digesting certain foods and a bad taste in my mouth. My throat is even sore from it. Yup, the reflux is back.

Here's a little secret: The last time I had reflux like this I was pregnant with Bugaboo. And the time before that it was when I was pregnant with Bug Boy. And the time before that it was when I was bulimic for nearly eight years, between Senior Year in High School and the time that I married Darling.

I have gallbladder disease. I have had it since I was nineteen. If I am not careful with my food selections I pay for it. For example, it is a really bad idea to have pizza AND lemonade, since they will both do a number on me. I can have gravy on my potatoes but I really shouldn't eat anything fried or any cruciferous veggies for the rest of the day. I have to avoid taking certain pain relievers and other meds. Alcohol and excessive caffeine do not agree with me. And that's too bad, because I am properly developing an addiction to coffee. But only after 3pm.

The good news is that I have been able to control my diet for fifteen years and therefore have needed no surgery or meds. The bad news is that even with watching what I eat, lately I have been having flare-ups. The doc says take Tagamet and see how that goes. But I know what is going to happen! They told me about ten years ago that eventually I will have to get my gallbladder out.

I know, it is a relatively minor procedure. These days they do it with a laproscopic approach. There is very minor scarring. But I develop keloids, so I am none too pleased. I still wear a bikini (I AM SO VAIN!!!), don't want little scars!

Lately I have been unhappy with my body. I do not like my shape. I am not thrilled with my increasingly shrinking breasts, since they now show stretch marks. I do not feel that I am in the best shape of my life. I am keeping up with my house but it is not (even after living here a year) close to where I want it to be. And then there is the ever-increasing stress and worry about Bugaboo and his future. I cannot even think about it right now and I know I need to begin putting a few things in place, like a special needs trust.

So, if I could find a way to deal with my stress (exercise usually helps) and a few things in my life could let up a little I feel like I would be able to control this latest round of stomach problems. The thing is, Bugaboo ain't going away. It will be Christmas before I know it, and no matter how well I prepare it seems so stressful. I start becoming less and less sociable, more anxious, more introverted and slightly depressed. I am trying so hard to avoid the Zoloft again! It seems like every fall, between Halloween and Thanksgiving, this all starts. And it takes me six months to get out of it. The doc is convinced I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) since it only happens when the days get shorted and I am better by the time spring rolls around. But this time I am going to kick it in the butt. I want to enjoy the holidays. I want to feel all of the joys and the sorrows. And believe it or not, the stress.

So, let go and Let God, right? I'm trying...

5 comments:

Happy said...

My brother had his gall bladder out a number of years ago (when they discovered the cause of his seizure disorder). Look at the bright side, the gall bladder is what processes fats and when you don't have one any longer fats just pass right through you, yummm Mcky D's french fries, LOL.

I do know what you are saying. I am embarrassed to admit that I too am vain. I always want to look young, slender, & stylish and my worst nightmare is to look like a stereotypical housewife. Although Sweetness wants me to be a Jessica Simpson or a pre-pregnancy Britany Spears, LOL.

I know life is busy w/the bug boys, but try to squeeze the gym in again. You'll feel so much better. Good luck!!! You were missed at OCB!!

Unknown said...

A properly done Lap won't leave you any real scarring (they are teeny tiny, and you can only see them if you're a few inches away). I had a botched Lap done, so my scars are noticeable. But I still wear a bikini because I don't care!

Domestic CEO said...

I've had a few laps actually, and if I chose to wear a bikini (which will never ever happen) the scars would still be covered.

And, for the record, my "happy pills" still allow me to feel all the joy, sorrow, and stress in my life - they just help me cope a little more.

Anonymous said...

Acid reflux and gall bladder disease are two different things, so taking reflux meds might not help the gall bladder problem. Hopefully you can control this episode. Feel better!

CryssyeR said...

I have had two lap procedures done, and since we share the same DNA, also have keloid syndrome. Guess what? It seems the keloids don't develop in the belly button (one entry point) or the crease by the pelvic bone (other entry). Really, you could still wear your bikini. And you should.

As for the rest, why didn't I notice that you were bulimic for 8 years? Where the hello was I? I thought it was a year or two. But 8????

Anyway, I know I don't have to tell you this, but you need to deal with it (the reflux and gall bladder thing) before it gets worse...

Later!