Something clicked

I don't know if it was the wicked argument that we had Saturday evening, the silence that ensued on Sunday or that Darling finally heard what I was saying to him but last night the impossible happened. He realized I was stressed out and overworked with Bugaboo, helped with dinner, cleaned up the dishes, got the kids in bed and ran an errand. It gave me time to get to the bottom of Mount Washmore and then veg out in front of the tv and relax. Do you know how often I get to do that? Hmmmm, maybe once a week! Fifteen to twenty minutes of his time saved my evening. And I appreciate that sooooo much. I told him that, too!

I am not trying to get him to do everything in the evening. I just want a few minutes of his help, some chores traded off, so that we may both have the time we need to rest our brains. He is overworked at work and I am overworked at home. I cannot change his work situation (except to encourage him to work on his resume) but he can easily make things better at home for all of us by chipping in to pack lunches (his and Bug Boys') or by giving the boys their bath. These are things he often does but sometimes it requires prompting, eye-rolling and nit-picking to get him away from the tv or computer. I have to remind him that the kids will be in bed in ______ minutes, so can he please postpone his couch potato state until then? Could he please refrain from watching car crashes on You Tube until then?

What I am attempting to do is to create routines that my whole family can employ. I'd like it to be as if we are operating on autopilot. I do not want us to have to think about what needs to be done but instead follow the list and do it quickly. That way we all benefit and can relax and feel more human. I know everyone has a stressful life and that we all have demands but the boys (especially Bugaboo) are worth two or three kids each. In other words, sometimes I feel like I have four children because of the amount of intervention they require. Just getting Bugaboo to bed or even asleep is a monstrous task. By the time I am finished the evening routines and get him to sleep it is well past my bed time. Putting Bug Boy to bed is easier but it takes patience and understanding while he goes through his daily anxieties, worries about the placement of the dog's water bowl(It was on the left yesterday. Today it is on the right! That is bothering me!) explains why he can only play with one child at a time on the playground, even if it does hurt his best friend's feelings. By the time that is all over, is it any wonder that I just wanna crawl under the covers and disappear? And Darling wonders why sometimes I have no energy for, um, ahem, getting to know him? Don't get me wrong (sorry if it is TMI) ours is a good sex life, but if I had just a tad more energy perhaps it could be a daily event. I know Darling wouldn't mind it!

Moving right along...

Bugaboo has been a little bugger (no pun intended) the past few days. He is off of his schedule for some reason and there have been no major changes other than him being sick on Thursday and Friday. Apparently it is enough to throw him into a tailspin. He slept and ate horribly all weekend, wouldn't take his meds and got overly-exhausted which possibly caused more seizures. He was incredibly hyperactive and was difficult to deal with the past two days. His therapy session was a wash. I am hoping it is improved today because his time on task yesterday was three second. Yes, three. I kid you not. Frustrating, to say the least. We were improving to the point where we could have him doing puzzles, sorting colors, building blocks for ten minutes at a time. And he was at three-second intervals yesterday. I felt like crying. I could tell that he was probably having seizure activity by the way he was ticking and staring. It is horrible to watch. Let's hope he takes his meds for the rest of the week!

Bug Boy is having an amazing couple of weeks. School has been the best thing since, well, sliced bread I guess. Or since the Llama. But I digress. He has adjusted so well the teachers are confused that he even has a label/diagnosis. He is still having control issues (the dictator returns) and is directing play at kids instead of interacting with them ("rotate that block to a 30 degree angle. No, not that one! The BLUE one!) and prefers to only play with one child. He has been obsessed with one child in particular (who thinks he is General Grievous). But he loves school, is academically LEAGUES ahead of the other kids (think: Roman numerals, times tables and second-grade reading level) although emotionally is about 4, and he is almost six. That it ok. Boys do tend to be immature and he is developing play skills. He is also a little teacher's pet, finishing his work and then helping the other kids. He LOVES to help others. What a sweetie! It is going so well that the School Psychologist finished her testing for the IEP and proclaimed that he is gifted and there is no way he has Asperger's or PDD. You know, 'cause she's known him for six years and all. And she knew him when he had twenty or more fits of rage and anger a day, wouldn't use public restrooms, screamed and went under a desk when the lawn was mowed or refused to go to school for a month after a fire drill. Yup, he's cured.

Pardon my sarcasm. I just love it when professionals (albeit in a nice, polite way) try to tell you there is nothing wrong with your kid when you spent the past three years with intense therapy to get them to appear more, well, normal. And we obviously did a great job because they look at me like I am certifiably insane when I tell then about his diagnosis or past behavior or his issues with pragmatics. Or that they think Bugaboo cannot possibly be autistic since he has good affect, smiles all day and gives hugs and loves to sit on laps. You know, 'cause autistic kids can't be loving and emotional. Sheesh.

There I go, off on my soapbox again. Sorry! I'll end it now before I subject you to more of my insanity.