What is WRONG with me????

I just put my babies on the buses for the third day. I cannot believe how much I miss them already! What in the heck is wrong with me?

I should be doing my best Tom-Cruise-in-Risky-Business-Routine and dancing around the house, elated that I have the whole place to myself for four to five hours a day! I should be getting my routines done and running errands. I should be relishing the solace and peace that I am finding here.

Instead I am watching the clock and waiting for the first bus to arrive home. I cannot wait to hug and kiss my boys. I cannot wait to read about their day.

Ever since I could feel them swimming around in my belly, tap dancing on my bladder and playing soccer with my ribs, I have felt a very strong connection to them. I almost feel that my heart beats in synch with theirs, that my breathing matches their own. I cannot think of a better way to start my day than to see my boys smile at me after they run the sleep out of their eyes and yawn. I cannot think of a better way to finish my day than to tuck them into to bed and kiss their cheeks or foreheads and to peek in on them an hour later and put them back in bed (they often fall asleep on the floor) and steal one more kiss.

I am as stressed out as any mom. My boys are TONS of work. Even if they didn't have special needs I'd look forward to them going to bed or school. But I enjoy my job as a mom more than anything else I do. I love the fact that I am raising adults. And I almost wish I could do it with one more. Almost!