Nothing

Here's a great song. Ten points if you can guess the correct artist. If you win I will send you one gumdrop in the mail, parcel post. Can't guarantee it won't have been licked, though:

There's nothing I hate more then nothing.
Nothing keeps me up all night.
I toss and turn over nothing.
Nothing could cause a great BIG fight.

I know she meant something else about the word nothing but I like that particular part of the song because I often say there is nothing bothering me. Weeeeellll, OK! If nothing is bothering you then why can't you sleep? Why do you stare at the ceiling in the dark trying to remember and then forget and then remember and forget everything you have to remember?

Part of my problem is that I have a brain that works at warp speed. Most days so does my body. I just cannot slow it down. Nothing helps. Until I took an antidepressant about a year ago. I couldn't believe the difference. But now I hate the way it makes me feel! So I am not taking it anymore. I hate not feeling anything.

Of course, until I get used to sleeping on my own and feeling on my own I will have to deal with the sleeplessness. And I have to use my own devices to deal with things, you know, like coping mechanisms?

I can do this. I can eat better and get exercise and get more sleep and keep going to parent groups. I can also keep doing leisure activities to keep me sane. I can do this.