Movie Buff

Move over Siskel and Ebert. Or Ebert and Roper. Or Gene Shallot. What EVAR!!!! Marj is in the hoooooooouse! Marj is also dellusional after five days of fever and an antibiotic that she is allergic to, but that is a different story for a different day.

I have a tendency to look at the bright side of things, and ask Dino Boy's mom, (UPDATE YOUR BLOG!!!) I can be a little overly positive about things. (Autism is GOOD for my kids! It makes them unique! And Bugaboo's delayed speech is good 'cause Bug Boy talks enough for THREE people and I need a break anyhow!). I digress. Anywho, It is good that I have been housebound since last Tuesday because I have been able to watch movies at my leisure. Even though changing the channel still takes to much effort.

I come from a family full of movie buffs. We like our electronics and DVD collections (wonder where the kids get it?) although these days I have barely enough time to pee solo, let alone watch an actual film. I despise the theater, mostly because I have to pee every ten seconds and ain't payin' my life's savings and promising my first born son just to get up and miss half the movie. One toilet in the 16-plex? PUHLEASE!!!! So, VCRs, DVDs, on Demand, it's for me! And when I watch movies with my sisters we sit and quote the entire thing and drive our husbands crazy. You know, our own version of MST3K? And we know way too much about movie trivia and can totally kick ass with six degrees of Kevin Bacon. DUDE, we rock at it!

What was my point again? Oh yeah!!! The movies! I have decided to enlighten my audience with a few picks each week so that y'all can see where my warped brain comes from.

Muriel's Wedding: What's not to like? Toni Collette before she lost too much weight, her natural red hair and plenty of pure talent. Her character (Muriel/Mariel) is so delusional in this film it is almost comedic. She listens to Abba, steals money from her father (who embezzled it or something) and dreams of the perfect wedding. Gotta love that she finally gets a grip at the end. One of the reasons I love Australian Films. Look for Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under? Or some other show I haven't seen).

Amelie (Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le) : This has to be one of the cutest movies I have ever seen in my life. Seeing a trend? Quirky foreign films? Anywho, Audrey Tautou before she was in that dreadful movie with Tom Hanks (haven't seen it, know I don't wanna 'cause they should never make books into movies). She is this painfully shy coffee shop girl who fancies herself a matchmaker. Her father doesn't pay much attention to her and thinks of nothing else but his garden and some beloved gnome. So what does she do? Steals it and sends it on vacation with a stewardess friend of hers who mails home postcards from each location to her grieving father. It is a scream. Then there is the guy she eventually falls in love with who collects photos from those photostrip booths in the mall and train station. Bizarre. But totally worth watching if you can deal with subtitles.

Pride and Prejudice: Many, many, many versions. Yes, I know, it is from a book. But, I cannot get enough of the films, either. Love my classics, Bronte sisters, Jane Austen. Ok, so here is the run down:
1940 - Greer Garson as Elizabeth Bennet. Theyy really talked fast back then! But it was still good, albeit somewhat overly acted. Loved the costumes, fake scenery and the mansions they used.
1980 (tv): Caught this on PBS and it was pretty good. I thought the acting was much better than the 1940s version and Elizabeth was much more, well, plain in this version.
1995: OMG! The best version evar. Honest. It was a tv series by A&E and I had the tapes until they got eaten by our old VCR. Colin Firth as Darcy (HOTTIE! BABE!) and Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth, the best one out of all of the versions I have seen. I love that they stayed true to the books of the time and did NO KISSING!!! We didn't even see hugs. The way it SHOULD be. Build up that sexual tension and leave the rest to our imaginations!
2003: Pride and Prejudice, a Latter-Day Comedy. Yes, theMormonn version, brought up to modern times. Elizabeth Bennet is played by Kam Heskin, a college student who reluctantly falls for a rich publisher (Orlando Seale). There are some LDS references in there (Latter-Day Saints, not the Drug LSD) but it is cute and quirky. If you can get past the fact that they rearranged the end to make the plot make sense, it is worth catching on Encore some Sunday afternoon.
2004: Bride and Prejudice. This is the Bollywood version of the story. Very cute, great actresses from India and filmed there as well, except for the scenes where they travel to England and America for family weddings and such. I love that they never kiss in Bollywood, either. And the singing and dancing is first-rate. Love these Bollywood films! Look for Naveen Andrews as Bingley (you know, from Lost?).
2005: I have to tell you I was horribly disappointed in this version. It was still a good film, but Keira Knightly is just too pretty and skinny for Elizabeth. And as much as I like Jena Malone, she was too childish and snotty for Lydia. Lydia is supposed to be silly, not snotty! The actresses were far too pretty. The scenery was ok, the costumes were ok, but I just felt like they tried too hard to make the overly-pretty Bennett girls look homely in plain-Jane colors. I know they were supposed to be "poor" (ha!). I just didn't like this one as much. The musical score was AMAZING and Matthew McFaden made a good Darcy. But Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennet was a but of a stretch. Sorry, couldn't get into Hawkeye as their Dad. But the rest of the cast was good! Honest!

My Fair Lady: I love musicals and love Audry Hepburn. For me this is the perfect combination. I can sing every song, know every scene and can repeat the dialogue for the whole movie. Yes, kinda taken from a book. But well done! Love the dress Audrey wears in the ball scene. She looks like a princess. Did you know that Audrey originally sang it herself and they dubbed in a different woman's voice?

Moonstruck: I can watch this one sixty times over without getting bored. Normally I despise Nicholas Cage, but I love Cher, so it cancels out. You know, like vinegar and baking soda neutralizes and you can make water? Sort of. This film isspicyy, salty, sweet and everything in between. It makes me wanna eat. It also reminds me of my sister's in-laws who are from Italy. This is a superb all-star cast, has Opera References (La Boheme! One of my favs!) and the pace of the dialogue keeps me intrigued. One of my favorite parts, "When I lost my hand, I lost my pride! Johnny's got his hand, Johnny's got his pride! What am I supposed to do, take my heartbreak and forget it?" Classic.

I'll stop there. I may get brave and do an entry with Quentin Tarrantino films or even Kevin Smith. Heck, I might even give you the Jane Eyre rundown (seen most versions of that, too!). Tune in another time.