What I feel like doing and what I NEED to do are two completely different things.
I feel like keeping my kids home.
I feel like staying in my jammies all day (kids, too!).
I feel like taking the phone off of the hook.
I feel like taking lazy walks around town with the kids.
I feel like sprawling in the grass while the kids play outside.
I feel like snuggling and taking naps with them (yeah, right! Like they will nap!)
I feel like asking Darling to come home early to be lazy with us.
I feel like praying that God will cure my sons.
I feel like curing it myself.
I feel like digging in dirt, planning a garden and then DOING IT!
I feel like cutting down the bushes in front of the house that I loathe.
I feel like teaching my boys to climb trees. But we don't need more trips to the ER.
I feel like packing them in the car and driving to the beach.
I feel like running away from my life.
I feel like holding my boys close.
I feel like I need to eat potatoes. Yum!
I feel like playing the piano at 7 am.
I feel like I want to learn the guitar today.
Here is what I need to do:
Clean my house
Put away/ get rid of clothes that don't fit the boys
make 8 very important phone calls
brush the poor dog
brush the dog's teeth
work on language with Bugaboo
work on social skills with Bug Boy
finish the documentation for Ian's meeting
Send copies of their evaluations to appropriate people
Go to Tar-zhay and get diapers and new toothbrushes, since Bugaboo steals them all
Sort my music because Bugaboo gets into it
Get Bug Boy to straighten up his room
Balance the check Book (UGH!)
I am leaning towards the first list, and it isn't even 8 am! ACK! I need inspiration. Might be time to pull out the reinforcements. I think I have to get out my motivational CDs...
3 comments:
Wow - that first list sounds fabulous to me too. And it's so clear how conflicted you feel just by reading that list.
I can't imagine what it must be like to have the children that you love so much end up being so different than you had imagined they would be. I can see it in such a small extent with Aaron. On days that get to me, where I feel like pulling my hair out and running away from home, I try really hard to focus on the things about him (and the other kids) that I love. And that gets me through another day. I'm sure you do that too, just thought I'd throw that out for you today.
lol!
I was just thinking that. I love them. I have to keep that in mind. They are as God made them, I have to remember that too. So therefore, they are good enough for God and they should be good enough for me!
Did it work? Did you do what you needed to do??????
I haven't been around much lately, not online much at all. Man, I miss checking in with your blogs. I feel similar thoughts about my boys sometimes (all the time), too. ;)
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