Tea Time

My favorite way to start the day is with a nice, hot cup of breakfast tea. The dark British Kind with a good heaping teaspoon of Raw Sugar. Demerara, preferably. It is a good thing, too. I am kinda in spaz mode.

There is just so much on my plate, and I am beginning to wear thin. All of the stuff with the boys is making me crazy. I feel like I am fighting for services for them all of the time, and I shouldn't have to. I also feel like a personal secretary. All I do all day is make phone calls, go to appointments, fill out paperwork, stand in line, get prescriptions, therapy,read info on Autism, etc, etc. It leaves very little time for me time, cleaning my house and spending quality time with my family.

It is funny, but about once a month (guess which week) I get sunk. I feel like I cannot climb out of the despair, I hate my life and I want to break free from it. I want to change it and I want my kids to be different. For about three days. Then I am suddenly cured, I am ready to go back and fight the world for my boys. Darling says, "If I don't advocate for them, who will?" And he is right on the money. If not for me, then who would do this for them?

Just a few things I am thinking about this morning as I nuke my cup of tea for the third time and try to sip a little of it...